krisgrace

Hi,
I am a 25 year old single mother of two. It started when I found out my husband had cheated on me for a year and a half. We now live in two different cities, and struggle with our relationship and finances. I have been on the pain pills for about two years. I take Norcos, Lortabs, Vicodin, or whatever I can get (about 5-6 a day). They seemed to mask the emotional pain. I also get migraines very bad. I get prescribed Lortabs every now and again. Which doesnnt really help, only my migraine medicine helps, but I will never admit that to my doctors. I havent been me in so long. I am so ready to stop, but evertime I try the withdrawls bring me back. I am a paralegal, and I cannot go to work dragging. I cannot tell anyone. I am scared to lose my children. I need help and I do not know what to do. If I ask a doctor for this drug that helps with the withdrawls......will the take my kids from me??? I am so scared.. I am out of money, and out of time. I need help desparately. Thanks,
Kristin

louis

Hi....

I just wanted to say hi and welcome you here.
Someone will be along with better knowledge than me..... you am sorry i cant be of much help... other than to let you know you've been heard.

Please take care and stick around

Be well
louis

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

The best thing for you is to talk to your dr and be honest. You will be able to get through the withdrawls and get your life back.

If you are no longer taking the drugs, it is very unlikely that your children would be taken away from you. You probably have more of a chance of losing your children, if you continue to take the drugs, because you never know what will happen.

I hope you keep reading and posting.

krisgrace

Thanks for responding....
I am so scared and really ready to quit.
I know it is not going to be easy, but I def. will not do anything that will get my kids taken away. I will suffer all alone through the withdrawls if I have to....

Yuck!

:praying

Music man

Hi krisgrace, Wow, I can tell you there is no one miracle move that will fix everything.
But.... I would sit back and figure out what is the most important thing I can do for my children and me?
It would be to stop the pills, hard I know I was stuck on a few, one I had a very hard time leaving(ativan) but it can be done. This would be the single most important thing you should start to work on, also if you do stop the pills be careful to not start drinking to deal with it, you are in the right place for support and support is what you receive here and a lot of it.
So you have taken the first step now make the move call the Dr and tell him what is going on.

least

Your doctor can help you withdraw safely. Please talk to your doctor about getting off the pills safely.

:ghug3

krisgrace

Ok, so my Doctor appt. in not until next week. I have 14 Lortbas left. Do I wein myself off?? Or what??

Music man

I would try and not take anymore, but thats how I do it. with the ativan I just threw about 120 of them away, and couldn't sleep for over a week, and life was hell, and every one of those days I wished I didn't get rid of them.
But now, I Thank God I did.
I see it as the punishment for all the time I spent getting high on pills or getting drunk.
It will have to be done, weather you go to the Dr and he gives you another pill to help you get off the ones your on, or you just do it.
I'm no DR but the only successful way for me was COLD TURKEY!!!!

mle-sober

There may be others here that have more experience with pills that will have better advice. I'm just a drunk. And in my rehab program, they always said detoxing can be quite dangerous and should be done with medical supervision. I would keep taking your pills until you see your doctor.

I'm glad you made the appointment! Good for you. I hope you'll keep us posted about the results and your plans.

I hope you don't mind me commenting on one other thing. Reading your post, I really felt your fear and pain. You sound as if you feel pretty backed into a corner and like your just casting out wildly trying to come up with a solution. The thing about that is, your drug addiction is bigger than you. And, although maybe some people will disagree with me, the solution lies in something bigger than you too. The solution is bigger than you just having the will to stop taking pills.

After you see your doctor, maybe you'll get into a program for recovery. There are several. I only know AA. So I don't know how the other programs help but with AA, once you really commit to the idea of sobriety, things take off pretty fast. AA helps you see how true recovery comes through changing some very basic ways in which you live your life. And it's kind of ironic because by focusing AWAY from the alcoholism and really more toward your life as a whole, you find yourself changing and growing and able to be sober. It is a real and lasting change. And it would probable help with that emotional pain you mentioned.

The worst thing I could imagine in terms of my alcoholism is living the rest of my life without alcohol but never getting rid of that constant craving. Luckily, AA gives me a solution. I hope NA or another program of recovery can help you too.

For now, being here is a good start. Welcome.

christin1225

Kristin,
I too hear the fear and the pain in your post. MLE was one of the first to respond to my original posts in newcomers at SR. Her insight was right on the mark for me and her suggestion to you here is golden. A recovery group, such as AA or NA, may be able to help you to locate and to avail yourself of local resources for drug rehab and support programs.

You have indicated that you do not have the ability to go c/t and to deal with withdrawals at this time. Regardless of how you end up quitting, it's a good idea to start tapering. I will warn you that your doctor may not be willing to prescribe opioids to you in order for you to wean off them, especially if your addiction is not the result of something that he, alone, has prescribed (ie he prescribed a ten-day course of Vicodin a month ago and you've been getting pills from walk-ins, friends, etc.)

Unless you have previous or current child neglect issues (and I don't know the degree of animosity between you and your ex), your dependency should not affect the status of your custody.

Please keep posting. We'll help you out in any way that we can.

nickishine

Hi KG and welcome!

A doctor hearing that you need help, should provide you with detoxing medications. Your kids have nothing to do with him/her. He/she is there to address YOU. My suggestion is to talk about your health probs and addiction(s) - NOT your family life, if you do, be wise in choosing how you discuss it. They're there as Physicians and nothing more than to address your physical needs.

Hang in there and keep posting here as you walk through all this! Tons of support and love!

:ghug3

change4penny

Hi Krisgrace and welcome!
I'm a recovering opiate/cocaine addict...145 days clean. Take it from someone who been there. Those 5 or 6 pill you are taking right now will turn into 30 a day if you don't get help to stop now! Before going to rehab, I was taking 30, 10mg hydrocodone or oxycodones per day. You need to go to your doctor and be honest with him. He may be able to prescribe you Suboxone. That's what I'm on and it has been a miracle for me. I was addicted to pills for over 10 years and would use cocaine when I couldn't get the pills to help me from being "dope sick". By the end, I was taking the 30 pills AND using @ an 8-ball of coke a day...I'm lucky to be alive! The Sub. will keep you from withdrawing and helps you with the cravings for opiates. Please, talk to your doctor asap.
You'll be in my prayers
Good luck and keep posting.:praying:praying:praying

krisgrace

Ok, so its 9:20 a.m. and I just took my first 2 Lortabs (5mg), by this point in the day I usually have taken 4. I take the "low dose" pills around 10-12 a day. Usually at 6 or 630 a.m. when I wake up my head hurts so bad from not have taken anything all night so I take 2 first thing. BUT, this morning I woke up and no headache. I want to take them, but I know I need to taper off, so I held off as long as I could. The stomach craps are kicking in and I feel like puking. I will take only 6 today. 2 at breakfast, 2 at lunch, and dinner. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to go down more.
I hate the way pills consume me, and its all I think about. Of course, until I take some, and then I can move on....
It is so ridiculous.

krisgrace

Oh, and I looked up on the internet. There are 3 doctors where I am from that prescribe Suboxone. I will call them. My other doctors, can not prescribe it. Pray for me...

Music man

I was thinking about what I said, and I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to pills. so please disregard when I said to go cold turkey, again I'm just a drunk.

mamabin

Because I take so many antidepressants, I know first hand that messing with them by yourself is a bad idea. Of course I still do it. Just because I feel good doesn't mean I should stop taking something. It's like I hit a brick wall and I can't pick myself up. I am trying to taper off on mine as well. I find the side effects of getting off them can be worse than the side effects of first taking them. It's all a guessing game with meds, no 2 people are the same and not enough is known about the brain. I feel like a guinea pig every time I try something new. Seeing a doctor is good advice. And if you don't get good vibes, find another one.

krisgrace

Thank you all so much for posting!
:ghug

BKP

I can relate to the cheating thing, it is a pattern for some people and that is on them. Find the inner strength and proceed to a good life free from making mistakes the best you can and you will be pleased with yourself.