I need answers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 8
I need answers I know I will never feel like I did before I ever got addicted and I accept that. But I need to know if how I feel now is as good as I am gonna feel. If so I have totally screwed myself out of life. Cause I feel awful still at 5+ months. This anxiety is killing me. I know I have a long way to go but I really cant sleep or calm down.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
No one knows how you are going to feel in the future. But, my advice is to talk to your dr and get his advice. If you are having problems with anxiety you can also learn useful techniques to deal with it. I had anxiety before I began drinking and I still have to deal with it. Breathing techniques, yoga, meditation, all those can help you to deal with it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi fiftyeight
I won't lie to you, it took much longer than I wanted it to - but I feel as good now as I did before I started drinking and drugging.
Anna's advice is sound - dealing with stuff on our own can be very very hard - get some help...speak with your Dr
D
I won't lie to you, it took much longer than I wanted it to - but I feel as good now as I did before I started drinking and drugging.
Anna's advice is sound - dealing with stuff on our own can be very very hard - get some help...speak with your Dr
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Five months of sobriety after nine years of use will not bring about comfort, relief from anxiety or depression. What it does bring is clarity that leads you to seek more from sobriety.
At five months clean I was still wracked by anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and physical symptoms that literally made me a zombie.
As I approach the one year mark, I am beginning to see hope. The physical symptoms have diminished substantially. The head-screwing? I'm still working on that through the program of AA and NA with a sponsor who has 30 years of sobriety.
I suspect that opiates are like my drugs of choice, which were benzos, pot and booze.
Under the substance abuse threads here, you will find many like you who are experiencing the same ills from withdrawal from opiates after months. I'm no doctor, but from what I've read, opiates are similar to benzos in that they create a protracted withdrawal, creating withdrawal symptoms long after the drugs have left our bodies. The brain literally must rewire, and that takes time. A long time.
After years of drug abuse, many find that they have symptoms of severe anxiety and depression. We could kill ourselves wondering if those problems were there prior to drug abuse, making us more susceptible to addiction, or whether they were caused by drug abuse.
That's not a very productive way to look at in, in my book. I would urge you to see a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction and dual diagnosis, meaning someone, like me, who is in recovery but has a history or other mental disorders. I have been treated for major depression, panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for 20 years.
But now I get by without benzos, take a maintenance dosage of an antidepressant and a non-narcotic sleep aid, all managed by a shrink specializing in addiction. While drinking and drugging, I was prescribed the maximum dose of every antidepressant known to man, then topped those off with 20 milligrams of Klonopin a day. I added booze and pot to the mix.
Gaining five months of sobriety is amazing and courageous. But you can't expect family to instantly erase years of addictive behavior and accept you as if none of the past exists.
You can tell them you are five months clean, that you still need help, that you are sorry, that you know you must, in the future, make amends for your actions, but right now you need whatever support they can muster.
Maybe you would, like me, find the support you need in NA and AA. I've met truly amazing people in those rooms who are just like me and who help me everyday, whether simply by sharing their stories, drinking coffee with me, giving me a ride to a meeting, or simply answering the phone when I call.
You will find in those rooms people just like you and you can learn how they deal with exactly the things you now feel.
And remember, five months sobriety after nine years of use is a miracle.
At five months clean I was still wracked by anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and physical symptoms that literally made me a zombie.
As I approach the one year mark, I am beginning to see hope. The physical symptoms have diminished substantially. The head-screwing? I'm still working on that through the program of AA and NA with a sponsor who has 30 years of sobriety.
I suspect that opiates are like my drugs of choice, which were benzos, pot and booze.
Under the substance abuse threads here, you will find many like you who are experiencing the same ills from withdrawal from opiates after months. I'm no doctor, but from what I've read, opiates are similar to benzos in that they create a protracted withdrawal, creating withdrawal symptoms long after the drugs have left our bodies. The brain literally must rewire, and that takes time. A long time.
After years of drug abuse, many find that they have symptoms of severe anxiety and depression. We could kill ourselves wondering if those problems were there prior to drug abuse, making us more susceptible to addiction, or whether they were caused by drug abuse.
That's not a very productive way to look at in, in my book. I would urge you to see a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction and dual diagnosis, meaning someone, like me, who is in recovery but has a history or other mental disorders. I have been treated for major depression, panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for 20 years.
But now I get by without benzos, take a maintenance dosage of an antidepressant and a non-narcotic sleep aid, all managed by a shrink specializing in addiction. While drinking and drugging, I was prescribed the maximum dose of every antidepressant known to man, then topped those off with 20 milligrams of Klonopin a day. I added booze and pot to the mix.
Gaining five months of sobriety is amazing and courageous. But you can't expect family to instantly erase years of addictive behavior and accept you as if none of the past exists.
You can tell them you are five months clean, that you still need help, that you are sorry, that you know you must, in the future, make amends for your actions, but right now you need whatever support they can muster.
Maybe you would, like me, find the support you need in NA and AA. I've met truly amazing people in those rooms who are just like me and who help me everyday, whether simply by sharing their stories, drinking coffee with me, giving me a ride to a meeting, or simply answering the phone when I call.
You will find in those rooms people just like you and you can learn how they deal with exactly the things you now feel.
And remember, five months sobriety after nine years of use is a miracle.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi 58,
I don't have any answers but some questions. What are you doing in your recovery? It might be useful if you could post in more detail. What are the symptons of your anxiety.
This last week I have been feeling very anxious, it manifests itself in the eating of a lot of sugary products, irritable, skin irritated.
Today for some reason I don't feel so anxious. I had a terrible nights sleep but I feel quite "normal".
I am going to keep a journal and write down my feelings throughout the day.
Yesterday I did listen to some AA speaker meetings on Daily Alcoholics Anonymous Speaker Meetings - Streaming Audio, started seriousl moves to doing my 4th step, downloaded a sort of how to manual on the 4th step for guidance.
To be really honest I felt so flat/awful, I thought of the Peggy Lee song "if that's all there Is my friend? (lets break out the booze and have a ball, if that's all)
I am so glad I didn't. 58 perhaps have a look at what you are doing for a good sobriety.
I follow the AA program.
All the best
CaiHong
I don't have any answers but some questions. What are you doing in your recovery? It might be useful if you could post in more detail. What are the symptons of your anxiety.
This last week I have been feeling very anxious, it manifests itself in the eating of a lot of sugary products, irritable, skin irritated.
Today for some reason I don't feel so anxious. I had a terrible nights sleep but I feel quite "normal".
I am going to keep a journal and write down my feelings throughout the day.
Yesterday I did listen to some AA speaker meetings on Daily Alcoholics Anonymous Speaker Meetings - Streaming Audio, started seriousl moves to doing my 4th step, downloaded a sort of how to manual on the 4th step for guidance.
To be really honest I felt so flat/awful, I thought of the Peggy Lee song "if that's all there Is my friend? (lets break out the booze and have a ball, if that's all)
I am so glad I didn't. 58 perhaps have a look at what you are doing for a good sobriety.
I follow the AA program.
All the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Hi FiftyEight, I am nearly 7 months sober and sometimes I feel on top of the world (not often) and then there’s the depression, the anxiety and the rest of what life throws at us.
I used to enjoy drinking and the voice inside me keeps saying let’s do that again, it was fun, but then I remember why I quit, and I hang on to this what I have, I know things will get better and I think like others said it will take some time. The sobriety “buzz” has worn off and now life begins.
Give it some more time, I am thinking for me it might even take the 18 months as I seen some mention, and if that’s what it takes then so be it…
Congrats on the 5 months!
I used to enjoy drinking and the voice inside me keeps saying let’s do that again, it was fun, but then I remember why I quit, and I hang on to this what I have, I know things will get better and I think like others said it will take some time. The sobriety “buzz” has worn off and now life begins.
Give it some more time, I am thinking for me it might even take the 18 months as I seen some mention, and if that’s what it takes then so be it…
Congrats on the 5 months!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi 58!
I am 13 months and I have to say I have never felt better emotionally in a very long time, probably since I was a kid. I credit this to doing a lot of hard work with my life Coach (like a therapist but lots more positive).
I kind of used to assume that everything would be magically dandy in my life if I got sober...not true...the only thing sobriety did was clean me up enough to fix my head.
SR is a great starting point...welcome
I am 13 months and I have to say I have never felt better emotionally in a very long time, probably since I was a kid. I credit this to doing a lot of hard work with my life Coach (like a therapist but lots more positive).
I kind of used to assume that everything would be magically dandy in my life if I got sober...not true...the only thing sobriety did was clean me up enough to fix my head.
SR is a great starting point...welcome
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 8
First thank you all for giving a damn. What I am experiencing is all day long I am very tired and hungry but when I eat I just eat a little then feel sick then 30 min later hungry again. I feel like doing nothing and very unmotivated. I am very depressed and feel like I am worthless. I just tell myself its the chemicals in my brain trying to get back in whack. It takes me forever to fall asleep. I have to take alot of ibuprophen PM and then have very strange dreams. Then I sleep around 4 1/2 hours and wake up with high blood pressure and anxiety. High heart rate and dry mouth and feel wierd. Sweating under my arms all the time. uncomfortable and just sad. I honestly have not relapsed so its not withdrawls. I just cant explain it. No energy, no attention span, I am not progressing. I dont want pity i just was expecting to be able to start living after getting clean. I dont have insurance and am dont have extra money so I havent gone to a DR. I spent all I had to go to rehab. You guys are the only people I talk to about this cause I have noone who has been through it and my family thinks addicts are just weak. So I dont know what to do
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
anxiety can be a problem in itself. many people, who never drank or abused substances have serious anxiety problems.
many (some of us) have turned to substances to escape from this very anxiety. there are plenty of treatment options... maybe it's withdrawal related, maybe not. no harm in speaking with your doc about it.
many (some of us) have turned to substances to escape from this very anxiety. there are plenty of treatment options... maybe it's withdrawal related, maybe not. no harm in speaking with your doc about it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Oh wow 58, I'm so sorry for what you are going through...honestly it sounds like a doctor would be a good idea...are there any free clinics where you are?
The sad truth is that most families aren't great support networks for people in recovery...I have still not spoken to my family about it and don't see that changing. Would you consider AA? It might help you to have some face to face support.
There is a gratitude forum on SR....I find it extremely helpful when I am down to post there...a practice of gratitude can make a huge difference in ones life...even when you aren't feeling all that grateful.
Hugs.
The sad truth is that most families aren't great support networks for people in recovery...I have still not spoken to my family about it and don't see that changing. Would you consider AA? It might help you to have some face to face support.
There is a gratitude forum on SR....I find it extremely helpful when I am down to post there...a practice of gratitude can make a huge difference in ones life...even when you aren't feeling all that grateful.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
OK... First I would suggest you look at that Ibuprofen PM... It has benadryl and surely is making your mouth dry and may be paradoxically making it harder to get a good night's sleep... Not to mention it may be causing the crazy dreams.... And may be spilling over to daytime... See a doctor and discuss this along with your anxiety.
It took me longer than 5 months...
AA really did help, in ways that are hard to explain and not obvious. Give it a look.
It took me longer than 5 months...
AA really did help, in ways that are hard to explain and not obvious. Give it a look.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 8
i will stop the pm otc meds... Thanks for the ideas.. I go to meetings at the rehab I attended about once every 10 days or so.. and I talk to my friends that I made while there some but, I think they are not totally honest, I know a couple of them have relapsed. So I stay away for most part. One thing I didnt mention is I struggle with post traumatic stress and it causes alot of my nerve problems. I just would rather bury it and try and forget that stuff then keep talking about it in groups or with doctors, it just sucks. But I will overcome it, just know that this has helped so much just brain storming on here with you fine people. You all have helped greatly. Thank you
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Originally Posted by Mark75 
OK... First I would suggest you look at that Ibuprofen PM... It has benadryl and surely is making your mouth dry and may be paradoxically making it harder to get a good night's sleep... Not to mention it may be causing the crazy dreams.... And may be spilling over to daytime... See a doctor and discuss this along with your anxiety.
Absolutely!!! Makes depression much worse, too. There's a good reason it says you shouldn't take it more than a few days in a row.
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