Back for another try.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
Back for another try.....
Hello Gang,
Well, the last time you heard from me was back in early November when I was preparing for my first business trip after going through the medical detox and obtaining about 3 months of sobriety. Needless to say, the trip went well. I was offered a very good job with a very exciting company. I got my self esteem back in my professional life; got my self worth back; my relationship with my daughter had never been better. That was the first morning flight I had ever taken cause I usually had to be drunk to fly. I must say that it was enjoyable to drink a bit of coffee, read the paper, and show up clear headed and ready to go. With all of the anxiety I had about getting a new job in such a bad economy I felt blessed that this job was offered to me and I was never so charged up to get in there and really work hard.
So, with all of these good feelings what did I do? Went to the airport for the return flight and for no good reason when straight to the bar to celebrate. Fully cognizant that I was making a bad choice right then and there. Once home, I did not drink for a week or so and then it happened.
Fully expecting the official offer letter in the mail any day now and eager to start the new gig, I got a call from my recruiter instead to inform me that if I had any other offers I should entertain them and not rely on this one. Mind you, this is the recruiter and not the company that I was to be going to work for. I tried to call the HR guy that called himself my "friend on the inside" and the guy who said that his job was to "fight for my best interest" but he never called back.
Finally, after a week or so, I called the guy that was to be my boss. He was not as dismissive and has told me that this is only temporary, what he called a "right sizing" exercise and that I was not the only one in this position. He has told me that I am the one that they are committed to hiring so just hang on. But, he cannot give me a start date.
That was it. All of those good feelings just melted away and they were replaced with all of that anxiety and insecurity that weighed on me in the past. That was near the end of November and I have returned to the large bottle of vodka every day routine again.
So, here I am again with head in hands, and starting over on day one.
The first thing I did was go back and read through my old posts to relive the transformation and to feel the love and support from the good people on SR. I can tell you that having to go through that whole job hunting process all over again is very depressing to think about and I just keep hoping that the offer will come through but I am not optimistic.
The good news is that I do not feel as physically bad as I did the last go around so I think that I can do this without the threat of a seizure. Let's just hope it sticks this time around.
Well, the last time you heard from me was back in early November when I was preparing for my first business trip after going through the medical detox and obtaining about 3 months of sobriety. Needless to say, the trip went well. I was offered a very good job with a very exciting company. I got my self esteem back in my professional life; got my self worth back; my relationship with my daughter had never been better. That was the first morning flight I had ever taken cause I usually had to be drunk to fly. I must say that it was enjoyable to drink a bit of coffee, read the paper, and show up clear headed and ready to go. With all of the anxiety I had about getting a new job in such a bad economy I felt blessed that this job was offered to me and I was never so charged up to get in there and really work hard.
So, with all of these good feelings what did I do? Went to the airport for the return flight and for no good reason when straight to the bar to celebrate. Fully cognizant that I was making a bad choice right then and there. Once home, I did not drink for a week or so and then it happened.
Fully expecting the official offer letter in the mail any day now and eager to start the new gig, I got a call from my recruiter instead to inform me that if I had any other offers I should entertain them and not rely on this one. Mind you, this is the recruiter and not the company that I was to be going to work for. I tried to call the HR guy that called himself my "friend on the inside" and the guy who said that his job was to "fight for my best interest" but he never called back.
Finally, after a week or so, I called the guy that was to be my boss. He was not as dismissive and has told me that this is only temporary, what he called a "right sizing" exercise and that I was not the only one in this position. He has told me that I am the one that they are committed to hiring so just hang on. But, he cannot give me a start date.
That was it. All of those good feelings just melted away and they were replaced with all of that anxiety and insecurity that weighed on me in the past. That was near the end of November and I have returned to the large bottle of vodka every day routine again.
So, here I am again with head in hands, and starting over on day one.
The first thing I did was go back and read through my old posts to relive the transformation and to feel the love and support from the good people on SR. I can tell you that having to go through that whole job hunting process all over again is very depressing to think about and I just keep hoping that the offer will come through but I am not optimistic.
The good news is that I do not feel as physically bad as I did the last go around so I think that I can do this without the threat of a seizure. Let's just hope it sticks this time around.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glitzville
Posts: 334
Glad to see you back, Fug, and very glad to see you posting here on newcomers.
I'm very sorry about the job situation, but that will fall into place in due course. The most important agenda is YOU, being sober no matter what, each and every day.
There's so much support here if you want it. Do whatever it takes to leave that bottle behind.
Rooting for you.
Big hug,
Donna
I'm very sorry about the job situation, but that will fall into place in due course. The most important agenda is YOU, being sober no matter what, each and every day.
There's so much support here if you want it. Do whatever it takes to leave that bottle behind.
Rooting for you.
Big hug,
Donna
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
wow, I just went back and read the Fugfuggy Detox Thread. So much support from so many people. You guys rock!
After reading, I now feel ashamed that I pissed it all away. Well, reading it got me through another day 1 and gave me motivation going into day 2.
After reading, I now feel ashamed that I pissed it all away. Well, reading it got me through another day 1 and gave me motivation going into day 2.
Eternal optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: northeast
Posts: 293
Glad you've decided to come back. I have self-sabotaged by drinking after abstaining for a long time in the name of celebration, then it's just another spiral down. Anxiety is more often the reason I give drinking another shot, literally. Hang in there...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
