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01-05-2009, 08:36 AM
| #26 (permalink) |
| with a new light in my eyes  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,178
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Jules - No you are not a hypocrit; you help others by your words of encouragement and now you deserve the same. Whatever your mother said to you must have been very hurtfull, but as gypsy said so well "You are NOT your mothers words or abuse". Be as gentle as you can to yourself, and more than anything put the wine down.
__________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. |
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01-05-2009, 08:44 AM
| #27 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 22,759
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Jules, How are you doing today? I hope you check in and let us know.
__________________  And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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01-05-2009, 08:57 AM
| #28 (permalink) |
| Looking For Myself...Sober  |
Jules..I am so sorry..I dont know what I could or can say. Just know that you have alot of people who really care alot about you. Far from a hypocrite..You always tell it like it is. And thats one of the things I love about you. I hope you dont turn away from the ones who do care about you. I will be thinking about you. Let us know how you are. 
__________________ Dont just count your days...Make your days count! It may not get easier, But it will get better. |
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01-05-2009, 09:46 AM
| #29 (permalink) |
| Learning to live again  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Catskills, NY
Posts: 5,414
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STOP saying bad things about yourself, Jules - I can't bear it to have you so hurt. Nothing you ever do could make me stop believing in you or stop looking up to you. You will always be that person who welcomed me and helped pull me up out of my hell. Nothing can ever change all the good you've done here. I'm in awe of your ability to come here and tell what happened. I don't think I could've done it. That's the stuff you are made of, Jules - honesty, integrity, empathy - all that and more. You are a radiant being here on earth - your humor, your love of animals - I so admire you, drinking or not drinking. You will turn this around again - maybe these things needed to be spoken about, there just has to be a reason for this. I love you, Jules. |
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01-05-2009, 11:50 AM
| #32 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,301
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It's grief.....I am in so much pain I can't describe it.I can hardly think this morning for feeling so forgive me if this is short. I'm sitting here still crying(how many tears are inside one person I wonder?) but right now it's more from all this outpouring of love you've all sent me.I can't quite grasp it but I'm trying to let it in. Thank you all.So very much.I'm not sure what I would have done today if not for these words of love you've written to me.I will read them several times. I just want the pain to stop.Drinking last night didn't help at all.What a fkn waste really.But I'll admit I still wanted it to work and I'm not strong enough to tip the rest out on my own.I'll call someone and do it today. Your love here astonishes me.Thank you all.I'll write more later when I'm hopefully a bit more coherent and less hungover too. Thank you.More than I can say, Jules. |
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01-05-2009, 11:53 AM
| #33 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,440
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That's the girl Jules! Let it out, cry, scream, rage!!! It's ok. Just get the help you need to get rid of the drink and start from wherever you are....full of tears and grief is ok...we are here to to love you thru it! You can do this sweetie! Love Jomey
__________________ Joy is a net of love by which we catch souls. - Mother Teresa |
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01-05-2009, 12:03 PM
| #35 (permalink) |
| bona fido dog-lover  |   
__________________ I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley |
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01-05-2009, 12:05 PM
| #36 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Yes thank you so much for checking in Jules. I wish I could wave my magic wand and take away your hurt and pain. I REALLY wish I could. Love you and am definitely praying for you darlin. Please take care of yourself today Jules and stay close. 
__________________ "For who among us shall cast the first stone?" |
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01-05-2009, 12:08 PM
| #37 (permalink) |
| with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,178
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Thanks Jules for keeping us posted. Remember - be gentle with yourself today.
__________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. |
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01-05-2009, 12:25 PM
| #38 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 2,955
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Jules, I was given a piece of news about 12 years ago that rocked my world. I was in a haze for days while the news fitted into the "new" me. It was a confusing, overwhelming time but eventually it all slid into place. I was able to make peace with it although at the time I didn't think I would. As others have said, be gentle with yourself. We are here for you! Much love, Lenina |
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01-05-2009, 12:25 PM
| #39 (permalink) | |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,833
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Look at all this love and support coming your way, I can't add anything 'cept my two cents worth. Just remember that everyone cares about you, OK? Stay safe. 
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" | |
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01-05-2009, 01:41 PM
| #43 (permalink) |
| believer |
Hey Jules. Thinking of you. Love you, Nuno
__________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence. |
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01-05-2009, 02:58 PM
| #45 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand.
Posts: 122
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Geez Jules, I really don't know what to say, I'm not really very good at putting things into words sometimes. But I'm feeling for you, the more I read of this thread the angrier I got, you are obviously very loved and respected on here (I know I'm very grateful for your welcome and your support) and it guts me that the demon has the power to crush a special spirit like yours. I want to throw something at it, throttle the daylights out of it and yell at it to leave you alone. I know you are strong (even if you're not feeling it right this moment) you will beat this, be kind to your self, don't hang on to the guilt or shame, it's exactly what the demon wants you to do, to weaken you and feed on negatives, to pull you down. Be possitive, think about all you have achieved, you are fantastic, kind, caring, strong, empathetic, intelligent, and a beautiful person, you are worth so much. I will be praying for you, and I just want you to know I care
__________________ “Someday we'll find it, that rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me.” Sobriety date ~*~ December 4th 2008 ~*~ |
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01-05-2009, 03:26 PM
| #46 (permalink) |
| let it grow!  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 15,536
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i remember when i ended my relationship with my daughter's dad - i was pretty beat up, mentally and physically. i went to a therapist who told me to write down all the painful things and make them into a paper chain. when i'd be feeling strong enough throughout that grieving process, i would break off one the links in the chain, read it, and let it go, throw it away. it was very helpful. love ya, jules. hang in there. k
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01-05-2009, 03:58 PM
| #48 (permalink) |
| I'm just a little unwell  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: USA
Posts: 2,182
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Hi Jules, I just now saw this thread. I'm so sorry that you're hurting so badly. I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said, but please know that I do not think you're a hypocrite at all. Please let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it. Much love, TSH
__________________ Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things. ~ Sober since October 1, 2008  |
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01-05-2009, 04:11 PM
| #49 (permalink) |
| Moving out of Limbo  |
Jules, you have right now. This very moment. You have a choice, even when it feels hopeless. It's hard to see the choice in the middle of that feeling, but it still exists. Much, much love to you.
__________________ Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. -Salvador Dali |
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01-05-2009, 04:16 PM
| #50 (permalink) |
| peaceful seabird  Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating
Posts: 3,650
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Idea! Hey Jules, Print these posts out and paste them all over your home! Surround yourself with positive loving words! You Are Special
__________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers |
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