Broken... - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Toomutch · 01-05-2009, 08:36 AM

Jules - No you are not a hypocrit; you help others by your words of encouragement and now you deserve the same. Whatever your mother said to you must have been very hurtfull, but as gypsy said so well "You are NOT your mothers words or abuse".

Be as gentle as you can to yourself, and more than anything put the wine down.

***51anna*** · 01-05-2009, 08:44 AM

Jules,

How are you doing today?

I hope you check in and let us know.

Aysha · 01-05-2009, 08:57 AM

Jules..I am so sorry..I dont know what I could or can say.
Just know that you have alot of people who really care alot about you.
Far from a hypocrite..You always tell it like it is. And thats one of the things I love about you.
I hope you dont turn away from the ones who do care about you.
I will be thinking about you. Let us know how you are.

Hevyn · 01-05-2009, 09:46 AM

STOP saying bad things about yourself, Jules - I can't bear it to have you so hurt. Nothing you ever do could make me stop believing in you or stop looking up to you. You will always be that person who welcomed me and helped pull me up out of my hell. Nothing can ever change all the good you've done here. I'm in awe of your ability to come here and tell what happened. I don't think I could've done it. That's the stuff you are made of, Jules - honesty, integrity, empathy - all that and more. You are a radiant being here on earth - your humor, your love of animals - I so admire you, drinking or not drinking. You will turn this around again - maybe these things needed to be spoken about, there just has to be a reason for this.

I love you, Jules.

Lenina · 01-05-2009, 10:50 AM

Jules,

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. You are much loved by the people here. Wish I could give you a big hug and remind you that you are not alone.

Love,

Lenina

IO Storm · 01-05-2009, 11:29 AM

Jules..

Continued thoughts from me all day...and prayers.

And so many here, holding you. Please..pour it out.

Jules62 · 01-05-2009, 11:50 AM

It's grief.....I am in so much pain I can't describe it.I can hardly think this morning for feeling so forgive me if this is short.

I'm sitting here still crying(how many tears are inside one person I wonder?) but right now it's more from all this outpouring of love you've all sent me.I can't quite grasp it but I'm trying to let it in.

Thank you all.So very much.I'm not sure what I would have done today if not for these words of love you've written to me.I will read them several times.

I just want the pain to stop.Drinking last night didn't help at all.What a fkn waste really.But I'll admit I still wanted it to work and I'm not strong enough to tip the rest out on my own.I'll call someone and do it today.

Your love here astonishes me.Thank you all.I'll write more later when I'm hopefully a bit more coherent and less hungover too.

Thank you.More than I can say,

Jules.

Jomey · 01-05-2009, 11:53 AM

That's the girl Jules! Let it out, cry, scream, rage!!! It's ok. Just get the help you need to get rid of the drink and start from wherever you are....full of tears and grief is ok...we are here to to love you thru it! You can do this sweetie! Love Jomey

IO Storm · 01-05-2009, 11:54 AM

Thanks for checking in Jules..

least · 01-05-2009, 12:03 PM

Horselover · 01-05-2009, 12:05 PM

Yes thank you so much for checking in Jules. I wish I could wave my magic wand and take away your hurt and pain. I REALLY wish I could. Love you and am definitely praying for you darlin. Please take care of yourself today Jules and stay close.

Toomutch · 01-05-2009, 12:08 PM

Thanks Jules for keeping us posted. Remember - be gentle with yourself today.

Lenina · 01-05-2009, 12:25 PM

Jules,

I was given a piece of news about 12 years ago that rocked my world. I was in a haze for days while the news fitted into the "new" me. It was a confusing, overwhelming time but eventually it all slid into place. I was able to make peace with it although at the time I didn't think I would. As others have said, be gentle with yourself. We are here for you!

Much love,

Lenina

***Astro*** · 01-05-2009, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jules62

I apologise to all who believed in me.I just can’t keep going like I was.

I still believe in you Jules, no need to ever apologize. Maybe this is your bottom?

Look at all this love and support coming your way, I can't add anything 'cept my two cents worth. Just remember that everyone cares about you, OK?

Stay safe.

**Dee74** · 01-05-2009, 12:35 PM

Thats it. I'm coming to New Zealand

(((Jules)))

Eclipse · 01-05-2009, 01:17 PM

I'm so sorry for youR relapse. Please take a big ole' deep breath and start again! My thoughts are with you!

stone · 01-05-2009, 01:35 PM

Jules.

Alive · 01-05-2009, 01:41 PM

Hey Jules. Thinking of you.

Love you, Nuno

tanyapmc · 01-05-2009, 02:12 PM

I'm thinking of you also Jules! Much love to ya sista!

findingkermit · 01-05-2009, 02:58 PM

Geez Jules, I really don't know what to say, I'm not really very good at putting things into words sometimes.

But I'm feeling for you, the more I read of this thread the angrier I got, you are obviously very loved and respected on here (I know I'm very grateful for your welcome and your support) and it guts me that the demon has the power to crush a special spirit like yours. I want to throw something at it, throttle the daylights out of it and yell at it to leave you alone.

I know you are strong (even if you're not feeling it right this moment) you will beat this, be kind to your self, don't hang on to the guilt or shame, it's exactly what the demon wants you to do, to weaken you and feed on negatives, to pull you down.

Be possitive, think about all you have achieved, you are fantastic, kind, caring, strong, empathetic, intelligent, and a beautiful person, you are worth so much. I will be praying for you, and I just want you to know I care

parentrecovers · 01-05-2009, 03:26 PM

i remember when i ended my relationship with my daughter's dad - i was pretty beat up, mentally and physically. i went to a therapist who told me to write down all the painful things and make them into a paper chain. when i'd be feeling strong enough throughout that grieving process, i would break off one the links in the chain, read it, and let it go, throw it away.

it was very helpful.

love ya, jules. hang in there. k

parentrecovers · 01-05-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee74

Thats it. I'm coming to New Zealand

(((Jules)))

stop by for me, dee, would ya?

TryingSoHard · 01-05-2009, 03:58 PM

Hi Jules,

I just now saw this thread. I'm so sorry that you're hurting so badly. I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said, but please know that I do not think you're a hypocrite at all. Please let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it.

Much love,
TSH

James13 · 01-05-2009, 04:11 PM

Jules, you have right now. This very moment. You have a choice, even when it feels hopeless. It's hard to see the choice in the middle of that feeling, but it still exists.

Much, much love to you.

***Pelican*** · 01-05-2009, 04:16 PM

Idea!

Hey Jules,
Print these posts out and paste them all over your home! Surround yourself with positive loving words!

You Are Special

01-05-2009, 08:36 AM	#26 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 3,125	Jules - No you are not a hypocrit; you help others by your words of encouragement and now you deserve the same. Whatever your mother said to you must have been very hurtfull, but as gypsy said so well "You are NOT your mothers words or abuse". Be as gentle as you can to yourself, and more than anything put the wine down. __________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

01-05-2009, 08:44 AM	#27 (permalink)
*51anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 14,727	Jules, How are you doing today? I hope you check in and let us know. __________________ Anna And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

01-05-2009, 08:57 AM	#28 (permalink)
Aysha Looking For Myself...Sober Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Clifton Park, NY Posts: 9,305 Blog Entries: 26	Jules..I am so sorry..I dont know what I could or can say. Just know that you have alot of people who really care alot about you. Far from a hypocrite..You always tell it like it is. And thats one of the things I love about you. I hope you dont turn away from the ones who do care about you. I will be thinking about you. Let us know how you are. __________________ Stop looking at what you aint got. And start being thankful for what you do got. So Live your life --- T.I.

01-05-2009, 11:29 AM	#31 (permalink)
IO Storm IO Storm Wheel Of Fortune Champion! Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern California Posts: 15,755 Blog Entries: 1	Jules.. Continued thoughts from me all day...and prayers. And so many here, holding you. Please..pour it out. __________________ "God holds me still in the eye of the Storm"

01-05-2009, 11:53 AM	#33 (permalink)
Jomey Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Hicktown, PA Posts: 1,200	That's the girl Jules! Let it out, cry, scream, rage!!! It's ok. Just get the help you need to get rid of the drink and start from wherever you are....full of tears and grief is ok...we are here to to love you thru it! You can do this sweetie! Love Jomey __________________ "I take the day for what it's worth and do the best I can" - Johnny McEvoy

01-05-2009, 09:46 AM	#29 (permalink)
Hevyn Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: On the beach Posts: 1,772	STOP saying bad things about yourself, Jules - I can't bear it to have you so hurt. Nothing you ever do could make me stop believing in you or stop looking up to you. You will always be that person who welcomed me and helped pull me up out of my hell. Nothing can ever change all the good you've done here. I'm in awe of your ability to come here and tell what happened. I don't think I could've done it. That's the stuff you are made of, Jules - honesty, integrity, empathy - all that and more. You are a radiant being here on earth - your humor, your love of animals - I so admire you, drinking or not drinking. You will turn this around again - maybe these things needed to be spoken about, there just has to be a reason for this. I love you, Jules.

01-05-2009, 10:50 AM	#30 (permalink)
Lenina Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,346	Jules, Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. You are much loved by the people here. Wish I could give you a big hug and remind you that you are not alone. Love, Lenina

01-05-2009, 11:50 AM	#32 (permalink)
Jules62 member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 2,279	It's grief.....I am in so much pain I can't describe it.I can hardly think this morning for feeling so forgive me if this is short. I'm sitting here still crying(how many tears are inside one person I wonder?) but right now it's more from all this outpouring of love you've all sent me.I can't quite grasp it but I'm trying to let it in. Thank you all.So very much.I'm not sure what I would have done today if not for these words of love you've written to me.I will read them several times. I just want the pain to stop.Drinking last night didn't help at all.What a fkn waste really.But I'll admit I still wanted it to work and I'm not strong enough to tip the rest out on my own.I'll call someone and do it today. Your love here astonishes me.Thank you all.I'll write more later when I'm hopefully a bit more coherent and less hungover too. Thank you.More than I can say, Jules.

01-05-2009, 11:54 AM	#34 (permalink)
IO Storm IO Storm Wheel Of Fortune Champion! Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern California Posts: 15,755 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks for checking in Jules.. __________________ "God holds me still in the eye of the Storm"

01-05-2009, 12:03 PM	#35 (permalink)
least recovering Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 9,932 Blog Entries: 11	__________________ I'd rather live in my van with my dogs than live in a mansion without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Plus que je connais les hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. (The more I know mankind, the more I love my dog)

01-05-2009, 12:05 PM	#36 (permalink)
Horselover Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: NM Posts: 3,906 Blog Entries: 3	Yes thank you so much for checking in Jules. I wish I could wave my magic wand and take away your hurt and pain. I REALLY wish I could. Love you and am definitely praying for you darlin. Please take care of yourself today Jules and stay close. __________________ Sober date: May 13, 2008

01-05-2009, 12:08 PM	#37 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 3,125	Thanks Jules for keeping us posted. Remember - be gentle with yourself today. __________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

01-05-2009, 12:25 PM	#38 (permalink)
Lenina Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,346	Jules, I was given a piece of news about 12 years ago that rocked my world. I was in a haze for days while the news fitted into the "new" me. It was a confusing, overwhelming time but eventually it all slid into place. I was able to make peace with it although at the time I didn't think I would. As others have said, be gentle with yourself. We are here for you! Much love, Lenina

01-05-2009, 12:35 PM	#40 (permalink)
Dee74 Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 14,634	Thats it. I'm coming to New Zealand (((Jules))) __________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.

01-05-2009, 01:17 PM	#41 (permalink)
Eclipse Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 745 Blog Entries: 10	I'm so sorry for youR relapse. Please take a big ole' deep breath and start again! My thoughts are with you! __________________ June 23, 2009

01-05-2009, 01:35 PM	#42 (permalink)
stone Member Moon Lander Champion! Shuffle The Penguin Champion! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: UK Posts: 18,199	Jules. __________________ . As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth, even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again. -- Maitri Upanishads

01-05-2009, 01:41 PM	#43 (permalink)
Alive believer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,401 Blog Entries: 1	Hey Jules. Thinking of you. Love you, Nuno __________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.

01-05-2009, 02:12 PM	#44 (permalink)
tanyapmc Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Nunyabusinessville, Texas Posts: 4,358 Blog Entries: 2	I'm thinking of you also Jules! Much love to ya sista!

01-05-2009, 02:58 PM	#45 (permalink)
findingkermit Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand. Posts: 121	Geez Jules, I really don't know what to say, I'm not really very good at putting things into words sometimes. But I'm feeling for you, the more I read of this thread the angrier I got, you are obviously very loved and respected on here (I know I'm very grateful for your welcome and your support) and it guts me that the demon has the power to crush a special spirit like yours. I want to throw something at it, throttle the daylights out of it and yell at it to leave you alone. I know you are strong (even if you're not feeling it right this moment) you will beat this, be kind to your self, don't hang on to the guilt or shame, it's exactly what the demon wants you to do, to weaken you and feed on negatives, to pull you down. Be possitive, think about all you have achieved, you are fantastic, kind, caring, strong, empathetic, intelligent, and a beautiful person, you are worth so much. I will be praying for you, and I just want you to know I care __________________ “Someday we'll find it, that rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me.” Sobriety date ~~ December 4th 2008 ~~

01-05-2009, 03:26 PM	#46 (permalink)
parentrecovers P* the greenbean c*erole! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: USA Posts: 15,338	i remember when i ended my relationship with my daughter's dad - i was pretty beat up, mentally and physically. i went to a therapist who told me to write down all the painful things and make them into a paper chain. when i'd be feeling strong enough throughout that grieving process, i would break off one the links in the chain, read it, and let it go, throw it away. it was very helpful. love ya, jules. hang in there. k __________________

01-05-2009, 03:58 PM	#48 (permalink)
TryingSoHard I'm just a little unwell Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: USA Posts: 2,185	Hi Jules, I just now saw this thread. I'm so sorry that you're hurting so badly. I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said, but please know that I do not think you're a hypocrite at all. Please let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it. Much love, TSH __________________ Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things. ~ Sober since October 1, 2008

01-05-2009, 04:11 PM	#49 (permalink)
James13 Moving out of Limbo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Today Posts: 344 Blog Entries: 6	Jules, you have right now. This very moment. You have a choice, even when it feels hopeless. It's hard to see the choice in the middle of that feeling, but it still exists. Much, much love to you. __________________ Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. -Salvador Dali

01-05-2009, 04:16 PM	#50 (permalink)
*Pelican* peaceful seabird Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating Posts: 1,535	Idea! Hey Jules, Print these posts out and paste them all over your home! Surround yourself with positive loving words! You Are Special __________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers

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