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Old 11-21-2008, 03:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Cam and I are not doing so well

Between the two of us we are feeling like we have been dealt a really crappy hand. I am sorry, but optimism is not on my side today.

Cam is still struggling with the pain from his JRA. The doctor started him on a more aggressive medicine that is supposed to take 3-6 weeks to kick in - he will have been on it for 3 weeks this Saturday. Now on top of that he has been having vertigo and rapid eye dialation since Tuesday and has not been to school since then. He has missed so much school that he is getting "D"s in most of his classes. His teachers are understanding, but he is still barely getting by. He typically gets very good grades.

I have been doing so much work on myself; have been making it to IOP each day, dealing with a flare up of Fibro, working on skills to help with a bipolar diagnosis and trying not to drink. Not that I have really been craving, but I still get those feelings of why not? It could'nt make anything worse. I feel like if I have to take on one more thing it may be the straw that broke the camels back.

I know alot of you are probably thinking that I just need to deal with it; as life happens. For the most part I have been coping. I am just feeling very down today and wanted to vent and maybe find some support.
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I know alot of you are probably thinking that I just need to deal with it; as life happens. For the most part I have been coping.
Not exactly. You've been handed a huge plateful Suzette, no doubt about that. I'm sure I'd be struggling too if I were in your shoes.

Some days it does just come down to acceptance for me. Coping with one second of life at a time, and being grateful for the smallest of things in my life.

Prayers going out for you and Cam. I noticed you'd been a little scarce this week, and I hope your outlook on life gets better soon.
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sobriety doesn't make us superheroes Suzette

You've got a lot going on - like Astro says, some days are a hard slog - one second of life at a time, and trying to be grateful for all the good things...and above all don't listen to the voice - there's nothing in your life drinking won't make worse....that's a guarantee.

best wishes to you and Cam
D
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you Astro and Dee for being supportive, I need that so much right now. I have been feeling invisible and your posts are helpful.
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You are far from invisible! And you are in the prayers of many people here, I know. Hang in there.

I'm sorry you're struggling.
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:57 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I have been feeling invisible
NEVER!!

Hope you have a good weekend Suzette. Maybe you and Cam could do something relaxing and low-key, like renting lots of movies to watch?!
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Old 11-21-2008, 04:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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like mle says - you're far from invisible Suzette.
I hope the weekend brings good things

D
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Old 11-21-2008, 04:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey, Toomutch. Just wanted to say hello. If you're up for it, maybe you could treat yourself to a nice meal someplace or order a pizza (or something else)?

Lately I've been either making myself come here, watch a comedy, or listen to my ipod. I know it doesn't solve any problems but it does distract for a little while.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Big hugs.
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Old 11-21-2008, 04:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hey, Toomutch. Just wanted to say hello. If you're up for it, maybe you could treat yourself to a nice meal someplace or order a pizza (or something else)?
Pizza sounds good, I may just have to order one Bam.
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Old 11-21-2008, 04:14 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi TM,

I don't have any helpful words of wisdom, I just wanted to jump in and offer you another shoulder to lean on. I hope that Cam's medicine starts making him feel noticeably better SOON. Best wishes for you both.

*hugs*
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Suzette,

Life is just plain hard sometimes.

Prayers for you and for Cam!
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I was wondering how things were going Suzette. It would be a little strange if you were dancing through all this with a phoney smile pasted on your face. You have the right to be angry and sad about the way things have gone. I know you'll come around to feeling more hopeful at some point, once in awhile we just have to let our feelings out. You always have my concern and prayers.
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:28 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I will keep you and Cam in my prayers. You've been going thru hard times lately and having to deal with your own problems as well as your son's problems. It would be unrealistic to expect you to just smile your way thru it all the time.

Can't he get some sort of tutoring from the school due to his being so sick? I can't believe they'd just let him fail from missing school due to illness. Ask the school for some help. I'm sure there's something that can be done from home to help him in his studies, and the school should know of resources to help him thru this.

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Old 11-21-2008, 06:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Suzette

Many are thinking of you and cheering you on. Many are struggling with far less on their plate. Accept that things are difficult and never think you are whining. Your honesty here is a model for all of us. No one else I know uses SR as a TOOL for both self and unselfish healing as you do.

You give and are given. Is that not the purpose of this place? The important thing is that you are functional, purposeful, and are taking care of business. Motivated by love for self and others. Keep on, my friend.

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Old 11-21-2008, 06:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Prayers continue for you and your family
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:54 PM   #17 (permalink)
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It never seems to fail... Iasked for support from my friends here at SR and thats exactly what I got. Even though I have never met any of you f2f, you are still my friends and I care deeply about each and everyone of you.

Suzette
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Old 11-21-2008, 07:02 PM   #18 (permalink)
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suzette, recovery is give and take, and so is life...

its ok for you to take right now...

and remember that you have given...

thoughts, and all good wishes for cam and you too...

blessings

rz
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Old 11-21-2008, 07:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Suzette,
You are a good mom and I admire you for all your efforts to take care of yourself and your family. As I mom, I do understand how hard that can be when faced with serious illnesses/problems.

I wish to echo all the preceding posts from others who have done a far better job of expressing what I feel and think about you and your situation.

Sending support, hugs & prayers for you & Cam.
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Old 11-21-2008, 07:21 PM   #20 (permalink)
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It never stops it seems like.
But I just have to tell you.
You are doing some amazing things there sweety. Considering all that has fallen on your lap.
It is good to vent. Get it out.
I hope things start to turn around for you soon.
Stay strong. You are a prime example of strength and courage.
Big HUgs!
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Old 11-22-2008, 04:00 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Have nothing but admiration for you Suzette, keep strong and I will keep you and your
family in my prayers- best wishes.
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Old 11-22-2008, 04:28 AM   #22 (permalink)
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(((Suzette)))

Sorry I'm late on this, but you and Cam are always in my prayers.

We can't always be strong, happy, and running around with a smile on our face. There are some days it seems the best thing we can do is just get by. You and Cam have had a lot to deal with, and you're only human..give yourselve's a break.

I'm glad you can come here when you're having a hard time. You have a lot of people who care about you and Cam, and we want to help.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 11-22-2008, 04:39 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Suzette. Continued prayers going your way. Venting is healthy, and hopefully clearing out and sharing with us will help you give way for more courage. Your hard work, as well as Cam's, is an inspiration and I'm sure that will pay off by bringing you peace; your trials will only make you even more resilient and compassionate. Breathe in and try to relax; remember that, thanks to your determination, everything is slowly falling into place - a better one!
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