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I hate being sober right now

Old 04-08-2009, 07:15 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Jules,

I can truly say I understand where you are. I have only been sober 90 days and it's been the longest 90 days of my life. Drinking has been part of my life for more than 30 years and I still can't imagine life without it. Socializing is so hard because I crave alcohol and don't know how to just be myself without it. I had to stop drinking because of the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Obviously I suffer from clinical depression and drinking makes it worse, much worse. I have an addictive personality to begin with. When you mentioned wanting to cry all the time, it made me wonder if you don't have some depressive symptoms yourself. It's not uncommon for those who are clinically depressed to also have alcoholic tendencies. I don't want to be sober, I just have to. I really appreciate your post because I was wondering if I was the only one who hated being sober. Everyone else seems glad to be sober but I'd be lying if I said I really WANTED to be sober. The longer it goes, the more determined I get. I got my first chip at New Years and have a good marker for sobriety. I look forward to every chip I get, even though it's just a reminder. Thanks for being here.
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Old 04-08-2009, 07:34 PM
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Welcome to SR sbentjies.
I am glad that you found us and congratulations on your 90 days. I have about the same amount of time as you do and quit drinking after 30+ years of drinking.
It looks like working the program is working for you so keep at it.
Continued good luck.
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Old 04-08-2009, 07:49 PM
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This thread started about the same time I joined SR....I don't remember it at all....was very disappointed in myself for not chiming in! :P

Jules....how cool is it to look back and see just how far you've come.

You've been incredibly kind to me. I guess what goes around, comes around.
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:21 PM
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welcome to SR sb
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Old 04-09-2009, 08:15 AM
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What a very brave thing you did throwing the wine away. Well done on anotherr day! I totally agree that the crying is the opening to all your other emotions. Just let it all out, sometimes a good sob just washes a lot of "dirt" away. They also say that tears of genuine emotion contain certain hormonal secretions and can increase the production of seratonin which makes you feel better after. Thank you for your pst, and don't be afraid to post what you are feeling there are so many of us out here reading it and feeling less alone for it as well.
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Old 04-09-2009, 02:20 PM
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Jules, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if after a specified time...I think a week would be nice, we'd wake up in the morning, feeling fabulous and say "OK, that's done, now what do I want to do today"? I'm being flippant, I know, but this road is full of pitfalls and you have helped SO MANY with your inspiring posts. The funny thing for me is that I have a love/hate relationship with sobriety. I don't like the things it puts me through, but I know that I am a better person because of it. I hate the fact that I am an alcoholic, but if I weren't, I wouldn't have discovered my inner strength, nor my relationship with my HP (spirituality). Keep in mind, these are "good day" thoughts. On bad days, I feel weak and stupid and less than and insecure and .....But, for me, on balance, sobriety is way,way,way better. Not easy, often frustrating, sometimes excruciating, but better. Hang in there, we love you and please remind ME that I said this when a bad day slams me in the head.
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Old 04-09-2009, 02:36 PM
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Good advice, but this is an old thread from last September folks.

It is good how old threads can help newbies tho - welcome to sbentjies btw

LOL last time I spoke to Jules she was doing well and enjoying life
D
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Old 04-09-2009, 02:45 PM
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Moving on....lol.
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Old 04-09-2009, 02:46 PM
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I was thinking, "so that's the second time Jules bought a bottle and through it away"!
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:16 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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I feel so alone and lost.
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Old 04-10-2009, 04:25 AM
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Welcome to SR, D.... Come on in and I promise that you won't feel alone and lost any more.
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