Hello, 35th day off roxy codone & subutex

[jershua]

So this is my 35th day off all opiates, what a long strange trip it's been!
"sorry for the cliche", but that is the truth. spent the first two weeks in my house wandering around like a zombie and the second two at every NA meeting i could find. Some of you may ask, didn't the subutex make the w/d easier, well i abused the subutex and when it ran out i ran to get more roxy's, and not by any measure am i saying that subutex is bad, because i know for alot of people it is a life saver, but I do believe i am a serious addict. I have been coming to this site probably since the first week, but for some reason today i figured i would write my first thread, because i feel like crap, you see on my thirtieth day my best friend and fiance pretty much told me she had feeling's for someone else and it broke my heart, that day all i could think about was using, but i didn't, i called my uncle who lives 4 hours away and he came and got me because i have lost my car. So now I am in a strange place with a horrid thought that a stranger is in my house, in my bed, and in my fiance, oh and playing with my dog. I should not be thinking these things, I should be concentrating on me and my recovery, but i can't seem to get these horrible thought's out of my head. Well, i guess the good thing is i have no access to any cash or pills and know no one here, so at least i am safe. If you read this thanks. P.S. It was inspiring to see a recovering addict kick butt in the home run derby last night at Yankee field, it gave me chills!!! way to go Josh Hamilton!!!!

[bruce24]

Welcome to the community!!

I'm new myself and have found posting here to help alot because you get alot of great feedback and advice. You sound like you've hit your rock bottom but your still keeping you focus on recovery. Keep working at it and no one is here to judge just to be here to support.

If things were meant to be with your fiance then you would still be together. Things do happen for a reason and you will need time to heal. I hope you start to feel more at home the longer you are at your new place. Keep looking for new things to do to keep busy. Don't let life pass you by now, your just getting to the good part!!

I saw Josh Hamilton last night as well, that was truly amazing and something I don't know if we will ever see again (especially with the story behind it all). Best wishes and keep fighting your urges!!!

Bruce

[least]

You've got a lot going on right now, and it's a lot to handle. Very good that you didn't use over it. Just remember that using would only make a tough situation worse. Stay clean - you can do it!

[Anna]

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you decided to post.

It does sound like you have a lot going on and all I can say is, focus on your recovery. Try to work through the feelings and you will be able to get through this. I'm glad you're in a safe place.

[jershua]

I just wanted to say, thank you all for the the support and the kind words. Today was such a better day, and after writing this yesterday i felt a lot better. Thanks Again