Advise on my teenage daughter - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Toomutch · 06-27-2008, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiynita

Yes..Like I hate it when My grams drives my car and doesnt straiten the wheels when she parks.

exactly- it's those little things.

ananda · 06-27-2008, 07:23 PM

well..if i am honest...there are many things I can't let go of....to deny it or pretend otherwise is very unhelpful for me.....I am learning to simply realize it isn't such a big deal....i have some things i won't really let go of but i pay alot less attention to them then i use to...seems to me letting go is a process not a burning bush event....so I aknowledge the thought, obsession, clinging and then turn my thoughts to the next indicated thing.

over and over and over and over again....then one day i do let go and it seems like it just happens in the wink of an eye...but there was alot that came before it.

**CarolD** · 06-27-2008, 09:44 PM

I'd clean it because I am neat.
In my home...I expect others to be too.

I'd also have a new house rule...
no sports allowed if room is a mess.

and I define mess as clothes on floor
and dirty dishes in room.

That's what I did with a teen..it worked and ..
he now is a full time slob in his own home.

LogCabin · 06-27-2008, 09:59 PM

If this were my situation, (and I have three teens). Two are slobs, and one is not.

What I do is this. I would only clean out the dishes and any visible food items. Other than that leave it. And then I would be mad as a hornet that she had LIED to me. When they tell me they are going to do something, I expect it to be done. And therefore, I would make sure she is not allowed to call or go out with her friends until the room is clean once she gets back. My home, my rules.

I also really clean the house before I go on a trip. Nothing finer than have a good time away from home, and then returning to a fresh, clean place.

22NGONE · 06-28-2008, 05:49 AM

What I have noticed is that it's hardest to change with the people we are closest to. Good job on not cleaning the room, I think you were just teaching her it would be clean when she got back.

John

Toomutch · 06-28-2008, 06:33 AM

I have to admit, I took out the dishes and the towels.

There were alot of dishes, and only 2 towels. One of the towels was wet from her shower yesteday and just thrown onto the bed, yuck!

LogCabin · 06-28-2008, 08:14 AM

Personally I feel that was a good compromise. Where I live the moisture in the air caused mold to grow quickly. I would have taken all that stuff out too. But then I leave the rest for my kids to take care of. They have to learn to be responsible for thier stuff, and space.

grateful2b · 06-28-2008, 08:27 AM

when my girl was living at home ..her room was her business...my only line in the sand was food and dishes left in the room and ...yup..wet towels..

06-27-2008, 09:44 PM	#28 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 14,346	I'd clean it because I am neat. In my home...I expect others to be too. I'd also have a new house rule... no sports allowed if room is a mess. and I define mess as clothes on floor and dirty dishes in room. That's what I did with a teen..it worked and .. he now is a full time slob in his own home.
	__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery...

06-28-2008, 06:33 AM	#31 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: A very busy place Posts: 1,813	I have to admit, I took out the dishes and the towels. There were alot of dishes, and only 2 towels. One of the towels was wet from her shower yesteday and just thrown onto the bed, yuck!
	__________________ Don't fight with the pillow, but lay down your head And kick every worriment out of the bed. ~Edmund Vance Cooke

06-28-2008, 08:27 AM	#33 (permalink)
grateful2b Leap of faith survivor Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: In the pines, in the pines.... Posts: 941	when my girl was living at home ..her room was her business...my only line in the sand was food and dishes left in the room and ...yup..wet towels..
	__________________ We are what we believe we are....C.S. Lewis You need to give up the life you have in order to have the life thats waiting for you...

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06-27-2008, 07:23 PM	#27 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere Left of Left Posts: 4,529	well..if i am honest...there are many things I can't let go of....to deny it or pretend otherwise is very unhelpful for me.....I am learning to simply realize it isn't such a big deal....i have some things i won't really let go of but i pay alot less attention to them then i use to...seems to me letting go is a process not a burning bush event....so I aknowledge the thought, obsession, clinging and then turn my thoughts to the next indicated thing. over and over and over and over again....then one day i do let go and it seems like it just happens in the wink of an eye...but there was alot that came before it.

06-27-2008, 09:59 PM	#29 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 418	If this were my situation, (and I have three teens). Two are slobs, and one is not. What I do is this. I would only clean out the dishes and any visible food items. Other than that leave it. And then I would be mad as a hornet that she had LIED to me. When they tell me they are going to do something, I expect it to be done. And therefore, I would make sure she is not allowed to call or go out with her friends until the room is clean once she gets back. My home, my rules. I also really clean the house before I go on a trip. Nothing finer than have a good time away from home, and then returning to a fresh, clean place.

06-28-2008, 05:49 AM	#30 (permalink)
22NGONE Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Medina, OH, USA Posts: 265	What I have noticed is that it's hardest to change with the people we are closest to. Good job on not cleaning the room, I think you were just teaching her it would be clean when she got back. John

06-28-2008, 08:14 AM	#32 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 418	Personally I feel that was a good compromise. Where I live the moisture in the air caused mold to grow quickly. I would have taken all that stuff out too. But then I leave the rest for my kids to take care of. They have to learn to be responsible for thier stuff, and space.

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