Need to get this off my chest..

[vig22]

I think I may have figured out why I personally drink, and that is because I'm constantly depressed.

I have been through outpatient treatment and did well for a few weeks, and now I have hit bottom again. I have sacrificied my career, my family, my financial situation, and my own well being. I am facing some pretty hefty consequences of my recent actions, and I'm scared to death. I never planned on things becoming this way, again. I dropped it once, and told myself it would be for good. Then depression and sleeplessness hits and I say, maybe just a few so it will all go away. Self medication, but the results are going to completely ruin my life. As it pretty much is now. I don't know when I will be able to even attempt to seek some kind of couneling or treatment for depression. But I know that as it stands right now, if I go any lower I won't be able to return. I'm completely hopeless and don't know what to do.

I just wanted to get that off of my chest. Thank you for reading.

[sailorjohn]

Originally Posted by vig22

I think I may have figured out why I personally drink, and that is because I'm constantly depressed.

I have been through outpatient treatment and did well for a few weeks, and now I have hit bottom again. I have sacrificied my career, my family, my financial situation, and my own well being. I am facing some pretty hefty consequences of my recent actions, and I'm scared to death. I never planned on things becoming this way, again. I dropped it once, and told myself it would be for good. Then depression and sleeplessness hits and I say, maybe just a few so it will all go away. Self medication, but the results are going to completely ruin my life. As it pretty much is now. I don't know when I will be able to even attempt to seek some kind of couneling or treatment for depression. But I know that as it stands right now, if I go any lower I won't be able to return. I'm completely hopeless and don't know what to do.

I just wanted to get that off of my chest. Thank you for reading.

WELCOME!!!

Well, I was at the point personally that I wanted to end it all, and I didn't even recognize how unhealthy the whole thing was until afterwards. They say you have to hit some kind of real bottom, even if it's only realizing that if you continue on that path that you will lose something forever that you aren't willing to lose. You can find a lot of support here, but IMO it is very beneficial to have some sort of outside support. Have you tried AA?

[chiynita]

I have been right where you are more times than I care to remember. Just a couple weeks ago being the last.
I felt like there was no way out. I am never going to get it. So why bother.
I scared alot of people. Including myself.
But you know with alot of support here..from my grams..and alot of serious thinking.
I decided not tp play the victim anymore. At least for that moment.
And thats all I needed to get me back in the fight again.
I cant quit. Its not in the cards for me.
All you need is a little glimmer of hope. And know that you are not alone. There is help.
We may fall many times. But you can keep trying.
But tempt fate too many times. You may just get what you ask for.
I hope you see it is possible to get out of that dark place.
The light is there. You just need to look for it.

[CarolD]

Please see your doctor and be honest about
both your drinking and your depression.

Prayers for your healing and success.

[lizw]

It is always darkest before the dawn...

Take care of yourself and reach out to any of your recovery friends you met while sober before, regardless of how you feel. You don't have to be alone.

[nogard]

Hi and welcome to SR

[SoBearish]

Welcome!!

[1963comet]

I do understand. I found that most of my drinking was due to aniexty. When I first stopped drinking I had to find out what led me back to drinking. Because I never wanted to drink again. I know some will say alocholics just drink but I knew that aniexty had something to do with it.

I went to a behavior class to understand and deal with aniexty. It really did make a difference and made it easer to not drink. It has been 7 and a half years without drinking, so I did something right.

Hope this helps

[Tazman53]

As Carol suggested, seek out professional help for depression and also some type of recovery program, I found my solution in AA, but there are other recovery programs as well, check them out, work them. find the one that works for you. Non of them are cures and none of them happen over night.

[22NGONE]

Welcome Vig!!

Can't add much to the wisdom preceeding me other than "This too shall pass."

Happily Alcoholically Yours,

John

[51anna]

Hi and Welcome,

I drank to self-medicate depression and insomnia that I kept thinking I would be able to cope with. It made things so much worse and I became an alcoholic. But, I couldn't stop drinking until I got my depression diagnosed and treated, because when I was depressed I didn't care enough to put the effort into sobriety, that it needed.

I hope you talk to your dr.