Doctor's . . . (ahem) crazy definition of alcoholism!

[Horselover]

My stepdad had a doctor's appointment a couple of days ago and asked the doctor what makes one an alcoholic. He was concerned about his own drinking. The doctor said (get this - drum roll), "We consider someone an alcoholic if they cannot go without a drink for one month."

Okay - is this insane or what?? I said I don't think its how long one can abstain, but rather what happens after the first glass. I mean I can control it for only so long and then I'm back in the passenger's seat and my drinking has taken over the driver's seat. I am saying eventually this happens. It may take a week before I'm back there, but I always return and so I am floored that a doctor would say this. Any thoughts?????

[TorontoGuy28]

Personally, I think you either are an alcoholic or you're not.

I also believe there are different (progressive) phases of alcoholism.

I've gone months without booze, no more cravings... As soon as tried it again, I was back where I left off... This is a disease.

[parentrecovers]

sounds like your stepdad needs to find a new doctor.

[HeavyJ]

Wow, That's a crazy definition. I do not agree.. Big T (Toronto guy) is correct, this is a disease..

heavy

[Horselover]

Thanks for your input on this. I just re-read my post and I think I need to clarify. I can go without it with the help of SR and I hopefully will be able to eliminate it completely, BUT what I was trying to say is if I pick up a glass of wine I will eventually be back on the same road I have already traveled. This was my point to my stepdad. I don't think its how long we can go without it because there are many wonderful people out there that have gone years and years without alcohol, but they know they cannot return to it and drink as say a "normal" person. Sorry about that first post. I was a little irked that he seemed to be reaching for help and now he's found this to lean on instead. I then asked if he was going to abstain for a month and see what happens. He's not, at least not right now any ways.

[Jomey]

I'm with you & the other posters Horselover - Stepdaddy needs a new doctor!

[Jomey]

Hey Horsie - We were posting at the same time, so just to add a little of my own experience - I have gone months at a time abstaining (when I was pregnant, when I was "proving to myself that I wasn't an alcoholic", etc.) but I sure as get out wasn't recovering, I was just able to muster the will power to hang on, all the while planning drinking again after the youngun was born and nursed, after the shame of whatever happened that made me want to "prove" I was ok died down, whatever. But, as soon as I picked up one, I was right back where I started, which was drinking alcoholically.

Hope your stepdaddy gets the help he needs when he is ready to get it.

love Jomey

[HeavyJ]

I agree H-Lover, I am sure that if i ever convinced myself i could drink socially, even 10 yeras from now, I'm sure I would be back where I was a month ago (Rock bottom) Before I even knew it...

Heavy

[Rella927]

I agree with the others that seeking other medical advice would
be a good choice right now-

This is a disease and when one reaches out for help they should as well
as family members IMHO be comfortable with the first impression of a
medical prof.

My father was a doctor and also was haunted with this disease-he was great
support to those also who battled with it, just not with himself....going to
someone and having them support us as one try's to conquer something
even it is not Alcoholism I would want to feel comfortable with the words
of support coming out of their mouth!

And Horse.....btw

I can go without it with the help of SR and I hopefully will be able to eliminate it completely, BUT what I was trying to say is if I pick up a glass of wine I will eventually be back on the same road I have already traveled

SR is always open-and if you decide to eliminate SR that is your choice-IMHO I was
planning on doing that once and here I'am almost 4 years later-The door is always open
and the support is on going and sharing with others what we have experiened still to this day helps me to survive in my life-Even if SR is a small part there are days that it
has turned into a really big part of my life! (Even for the little things I need support with)

Good Luck keep us posted

[Jomey]

Hey Horsie - Tell me you meant you are trying to eliminate your addictive behavior completely, not eliminate SR!?! You just can't leave us, it's as simple as that! Jomey

[Horselover]

OMG!!! Never ever - ever never (as my son says)! I am having a real problem with communication today. I hope I haven't had some sort of brain loss today. I will not leave SR. I was saying to hopefully eliminate alcohol from life completely one day. I am 40 some days sober and hope to add to that one day at a time, but could not even begin to do it without the support of SR and my friends here.

I am really sorry. I re-read these posts of mine and wonder who is that lady behind the curtain. I am not drinking!! Really I am not!!!! I wish I could breath on you so you could be certain. I'm just acting not real smart today.

Love you guys!

[Rella927]

We all have those days...no biggie Horse

[HeavyJ]

Ha! I'm addicted to my new friends on SR!!! This is one addiction I don't think I'll quit....

Heavy

[miss communicat]

once a pickle, always a pickle.
it can never go back to being a cucumber.

it doesn't matter how long or how much brine it takes to trurn that cucumber into a pickle. once its done, its done.

similarly, once the brining of alcoholism takes hold, one is forever an alcoholic. it doesn't matter how much, or how often or how long one paused in one's drinking, if one is alcoholic, one is alcoholic. the good news is that alcoholics can live happily and freely without drinking alcohol.

[FizzyWater]

Doctor doesn't know his "Trees from his elbow" Horselover, and he cant see the "Wood for his arse "

No honestly I've not been drinking either just joining the Problem with communication today club !!

Just my opinion but I wonder if a doctor is really the best person to speak to about addiction in the first place. I reckon only a doctor who has been an addict themselves is really qualified.

Unless you've experienced the agony of doing anything to get that alcohol inside you yourself you can't tell what the person is going through.

I've had days where I've came in from work, practically ignored my wife and kids while I rushed upstairs to get the half bottle I'd hid in my jacket open. My wee boy outside the locked bathroom door asking if daddy can play football with him as my shaky hands struggle to get the top of the bottle, gulping down the contents quickly then quick mouthwash to freshen up.

10 mins later in the garden, half bottle of vodka in my gut, nice warm glow, world feels great, playing football then having my tea, what a great dad I am, till the next night.

Only this time I have to go back out to see a customer, cant drink, cranky as hell, don't eat my tea, brush the kids off, feel shaky, sick, go and see my customer,come home again, this time don't wait to get in the house, risk someone catching me take the first gulp from the bottle as I park the car in the drive, again 10 mins later, nice warm feeling, read stories to the kids in bed, I'm a great dad again.

Just 2 examples of a normal evening in my house up until a few weeks ago. Tell me how a doctor can understand how you can put a bottle before your kids unless he's been there himself. Once you get past the withdrawels you wonder yourself sometimes never mind someone who has never been in that place.

I'm 6 weeks plus sober so according to your stepdads doctor not an alchoholic !!!!

Doesn't matter how long I stop, if I was to have one drink tonight, it would be 2 tomorrow, 3 on thursday and by next week back to a half bottle every evening before I can do somthing as simple as play and eat with my family.

Sorry I'm going on a bit now, just not sure its really a doctor your stepdad needs to talk to, would he perhaps benefit more from reading the posts on SR ?