New and not sure of site - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

beegee · 06-10-2008, 05:11 AM

Hi, My adult daughter is an addict and I am looking for support for myself as odd as that may sound.
I just was in the hospital for a month and thinking she was doing great because she was in a new program that she wanted to do. Which was a first, she has been in denial with me for a long time.
She has beautiful jobs and then drops them. Bills up the wall and spend my money too. I am sick, heartbroken stupid because I keep believing her but they are all lies.
This is just a really bad time because I needed her help so much now. I guess drugs don't care what anyone needs.
Am I in the right place or wrong? Thanks
bg

Thinkingabit · 06-10-2008, 05:28 AM

This is a great place for others who have been just where you are and some who are in there right with ya now. I can tell you without a doubt that she will quit when she is ready. You can choose to support the fixing of the messes or you can step back. This is up to you. I know that while I was being given money and had bottomless help, I just kept on going. It was when the help faded that I had to face that I had to change. I did. It is different for everyone.

Read the research. Know that treatment does not work statistically. Most mature out and 80% quit with no help at all. They simply decide to change. That is what I did. Harvard University did some research that is very interesting as to what is working and what is not. Please educate yourself.

Thinkingabit

beegee · 06-10-2008, 05:42 AM

Thank you Thinkingabit. I know your right.
I did find a forum for parents of.... after I wrote this.
beegee

ThisIsTheDay · 06-10-2008, 05:42 AM

Hi Beegee...Welcome to Sober Recovery....

You are at the right sight, I think the forum you are looking for is called Friends and Family of Substance Abusers. This is off the main page.
Sorry to here how your daughter is treating you ata time when you need her...
Below is a link to the forum if you cannot find it, I think this is what your looking for.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

***Rella927*** · 06-10-2008, 05:51 AM

Welcome beegee! Glad that you found us! You have posted in the right place although checking out the other forums could give you more support-There are stickies at the top of the forums with a wealth of information!

Sorry you are going through this and know that you have come to a great site
with lots of support!

**51anna** · 06-10-2008, 06:11 AM

Welcome!

I'm glad you're seeking help for yourself!

beegee · 06-11-2008, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 51anna

Welcome!

I'm glad you're seeking help for yourself!

I know tht this is what I need, help for myself because it appears that I am the one being destroyed inside. I thank you for your words.

**51anna** · 06-11-2008, 08:00 AM

Yes, addiction is a family disease and I am glad you're looking for support.

***Rella927*** · 06-11-2008, 08:08 AM

Forgot to mention that the "Friends and Family" forum is probably a good place to start....

grateful2b · 06-11-2008, 08:23 AM

Hi Beegee, welcome to SR, glad you found us..
There are many wonderful people here...many parents of addicted children here who know your pain..
I am a mom of a 24 yr old AD..drugs and alcohol and I usually hang out on Friends and Family of Alcoholics/Substance Abuse..great stickies at the top of both pages..
This place has been a godsend to me and a big part of my recovery....I have gone from been part of my daughter's madness and an emotional hostage, to stepping outside of her world and getting a life, all the while discovering a way to be part of the solution in her life. oh , I have a codie slip now and then, but I just get right back up on the horse....
Yes, you have definitely come to the right place...

hugs, grateful

beegee · 06-11-2008, 11:24 PM

Hello again,
Thank you for all your help and kind words. I definitley have found a good place here. I keep wanting to explore and read everything but something stops me halfway through. So here I am in the am trying to get thru. ((hugs)) back to you.

06-10-2008, 05:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
beegee Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: USA Posts: 343	New and not sure of site Hi, My adult daughter is an addict and I am looking for support for myself as odd as that may sound. I just was in the hospital for a month and thinking she was doing great because she was in a new program that she wanted to do. Which was a first, she has been in denial with me for a long time. She has beautiful jobs and then drops them. Bills up the wall and spend my money too. I am sick, heartbroken stupid because I keep believing her but they are all lies. This is just a really bad time because I needed her help so much now. I guess drugs don't care what anyone needs. Am I in the right place or wrong? Thanks bg

06-10-2008, 05:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
*Rella927* ¢σммυηιту gяєєтєя Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Spreading my wings Posts: 6,254	Welcome beegee! Glad that you found us! You have posted in the right place although checking out the other forums could give you more support-There are stickies at the top of the forums with a wealth of information! Sorry you are going through this and know that you have come to a great site with lots of support!
	__________________ Dance as though no one is watching you Love as though you have never been hurt before Live as though heaven is on earth.

06-10-2008, 06:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,606	Welcome! I'm glad you're seeking help for yourself!
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

06-11-2008, 08:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,606	Yes, addiction is a family disease and I am glad you're looking for support.
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

06-11-2008, 08:08 AM	#9 (permalink)
*Rella927* ¢σммυηιту gяєєтєя Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Spreading my wings Posts: 6,254	Forgot to mention that the "Friends and Family" forum is probably a good place to start....
	__________________ Dance as though no one is watching you Love as though you have never been hurt before Live as though heaven is on earth.

06-10-2008, 05:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
Thinkingabit Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: United States Posts: 69	This is a great place for others who have been just where you are and some who are in there right with ya now. I can tell you without a doubt that she will quit when she is ready. You can choose to support the fixing of the messes or you can step back. This is up to you. I know that while I was being given money and had bottomless help, I just kept on going. It was when the help faded that I had to face that I had to change. I did. It is different for everyone. Read the research. Know that treatment does not work statistically. Most mature out and 80% quit with no help at all. They simply decide to change. That is what I did. Harvard University did some research that is very interesting as to what is working and what is not. Please educate yourself. Thinkingabit

06-10-2008, 05:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
beegee Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: USA Posts: 343	Thank you Thinkingabit. I know your right. I did find a forum for parents of.... after I wrote this. beegee

06-10-2008, 05:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
ThisIsTheDay Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Scottsdale, AZ Posts: 205	Hi Beegee...Welcome to Sober Recovery.... You are at the right sight, I think the forum you are looking for is called Friends and Family of Substance Abusers. This is off the main page. Sorry to here how your daughter is treating you ata time when you need her... Below is a link to the forum if you cannot find it, I think this is what your looking for. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

06-11-2008, 08:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
grateful2b Leap of faith survivor Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: In the pines, in the pines.... Posts: 1,016	Hi Beegee, welcome to SR, glad you found us.. There are many wonderful people here...many parents of addicted children here who know your pain.. I am a mom of a 24 yr old AD..drugs and alcohol and I usually hang out on Friends and Family of Alcoholics/Substance Abuse..great stickies at the top of both pages.. This place has been a godsend to me and a big part of my recovery....I have gone from been part of my daughter's madness and an emotional hostage, to stepping outside of her world and getting a life, all the while discovering a way to be part of the solution in her life. oh , I have a codie slip now and then, but I just get right back up on the horse.... Yes, you have definitely come to the right place... hugs, grateful
	__________________ We are what we believe we are....C.S. Lewis You need to give up the life you have in order to have the life thats waiting for you...

06-11-2008, 11:24 PM	#11 (permalink)
beegee Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: USA Posts: 343	Hello again, Thank you for all your help and kind words. I definitley have found a good place here. I keep wanting to explore and read everything but something stops me halfway through. So here I am in the am trying to get thru. ((hugs)) back to you.

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