new and needing help

[KimBrly]

I just got dumped by my boyfriend. I don't understand WHY! We both started AA together last month 'cause we both have a drinking problem. He says he's not going to drink again I wasn't going to either. But OMG, I'm SO hurt! I was nothing but supportive of him! I'm the one that made him realize HE needs help. I know I need it to, but HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? When he knows I need his support.

[Tazman53]

First of all let me welcome you to SR, second let me say that AA worked for me, let me also share that I wanted/needed to get sober so bad that I went into detox and on to AA not knowing if my wife of 15 years or my kids were going to be there for me or not.

Hon if you really want to get sober there are no excuses and you do not need the support of one particular person.

Please do not think I am being cold hearted, I am not, I am sorry your boyfriend broke up with you, but think about it will drinking again help get him back? Will drinking again increase the possibility of finding a new boy friend who will then want to get sober with you?

Hon you need to do this for your self and no one else.

I wish you all the luck in the world, at this point in time the smartest thing I can think of right now is to forget the guys for now and focus on your recovery, you will be far more stable and more appealing after you have been sober for a year.

[tennis71]

Welcome and sorry about your situation.

Try getting and staying sober for yourself. If you can make sobriety your number 1 priority you will get the tools needed to handle life on life's terms.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and do not let this set you back, you are worth the rewards you will get in sobriety.

[51anna]

Hi and Welcome,

I'm sorry you're hurt.

The thing is that stopping drinking and beginning recovery often means a lot of big changes in our lives. Some of these changes can be hard to deal with at the time, but in the end, they may be what we need to stay sober.

You can get through this, by focusing on yourself and your recovery. This is about you.

[KimBrly]

thank you. i'm glad i found this place

[parentrecovers]

hello kimbrly, nice to meet you. i'm sorry you're hurting because of the relationship. i hope you'll keep posting.

hugs, k

[ROFL]

I'm sorry you're hurting. People go through major changes when getting sober. The two of you are totally different than you were before - even after just a few weeks. The good thing is, though you probably can't see it right now you're better off in the long run. Stay strong, don't drink, it will get better.

Here's a link to a poem I read awhile back that might help you: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-td-jakes.html (Let Go by TD Jakes)

[MsPlugginTheJug]

It's really hard to have someone you love turn on you. You can be proud of yourself for working to change. You helped convince him he needed help and you need to now turn toward yourself. You came here for help and support and believe me, there is TONS of it here! It's hard to get sober and make life and internal changes. Sobriety can and should bring about personal growth, I believe, in order for it to "stick". We don't know the why of his breaking up with you, but whatever happens to us is what it is and the best we can do is try to see any possible value in it and take THAT with us and let the rest go.

He may have done it for selfish or selfless reasons, perhaps he wants this for you but he's not ready. Perhaps he needs something else, perhaps he doesn't know what he wants.

You want and need support and he wasn't willing and/or able to give it, so you've got it here!

Drinking simply won't help. If he gets sober, even without you...you should feel really good that you gave the gift of your love to them. I'm sure God is happy with you!

Keep coming back!
Karen

[KimBrly]

that poem made me cry, but it is so true. i luv it. thank you

[KimBrly]

thank you Karen. your words make me feel that there is hope. and i feel mad at him too for not seeing what i did for him. but i guess i'll be alrite. thanks again

[Rella927]

Welcome to SR Kimbrly! Glad that you found us Sorry that you are going through this-please keep posting as there is a lot of support here for you.

[MsPlugginTheJug]

ROFL,
Thanks for posting the link to this! I keep checking the library for his book "Reposition Yourself" but that poem hit home for me, for sure! Also, this board is SO huge and I seem to never have enough time to read the NewComer forums AND the Alcoholism ones, that I didn't even KNOW there was a section devoted to inspirational thoughts, etc.! So a double thank you!

Karen

Originally Posted by ROFL

Here's a link to a poem I read awhile back that might help you: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-td-jakes.html (Let Go by TD Jakes)

[MsPlugginTheJug]

Originally Posted by KimBrly

thank you Karen. your words make me feel that there is hope. and i feel mad at him too for not seeing what i did for him. but i guess i'll be alrite. thanks again

Hope is one thing you are sure to gain here on these boards!!! I know I did!


It's hard not to be hurt and/or angry....but for you, there is SO much more joy to be had, especially in sobriety. I'm only on day 42 and trust me, it's amazing the difference a month of sobriety can make on your outlook (ie, hope)!

Karen