What the "H" does it tark "HOW" many times???

[NewLeaf]

I keep trying. WHAT is bottom? "...keep hitting it -- for me (I think) -- and make all the promises -- and MEAN THEM when I make them.

Find myself months later, letting myself and more importantly -- others down.

This is hard.

[Dee74]

hey Liz

I think those of us who are lucky enough to, eventually reach the 'enough' point.
I very clearly had the choice to live or die. I chose

I hope you'll reach the enough point, and I hope it's soon, but I don't know - only you do

sometimes it's harder to quit when you haven't actually lost anything...yet.

D

[barb dwyer]

hi again newleaf - Dee is right -

the bottom is ... the point from which there is no return.

no returning to the drinking life.

or ... no return to life ... period.

it's the point at which stopping drinking becomes more important that drinking.

[Dee74]

I should add...I didn't mean you have to nearly phyisically die to reach bottom or the enough point or the eureka moment or whatever you want to call it - that's just how it was for me - and looking back, I'm so stubborn that anything less probably wouldn't have worked - in fact nothing else did.

I hope you're less stubborn than me...because most of us here have lost things and people we care about through our drinking - and most of us have died - spiritually if not physically.

It's a progressive disease, Liz.

D

[Tazman53]

Every one has a different bottom, it is as Barb says:

it's the point at which stopping drinking becomes more important that drinking.

Some people only reach that point when they are 6 foot under, others it is simply getting tired of drinking, some it is a DUI, others jail, some institutions, others the lose of family, others lose it all before they hit their bottom.

A bottom is when one decides to stop digging the hole they are digging.

I knew I was at my bottom when I saw dying an alcoholic death in my future, at that point I was willing to do what ever it took to stop drinking and stay stopped.

[NewLeaf]

Everything all of you are saying makes so much sense.

My head, my heart, and my gut all tell me I MUST STOP. It's my head that messes me up, though. I always find myself playing games with... of all people, myself.

Staying sober today will be easy for me, since I'm feeling pretty miserable (physically) and mentally (guilty). Part of me wishes that I could feel this way every day so I don't screw up again and again and again.

Again. At least I can say that word. I'm thankful for that...

SO -- I'll just have to make it day one. AGAIN

[wezzy55]

I'm back again, was here last year..Boo Hoo and my bottom is a little lower. No home, car fixing to fall apart...but I'm sober today and refuse to beat my self up--it takes what it takes...Good to be back...:

[Tazman53]

Newleaf what are you doing to STAY sober besides not drinking?

I used the "My Way" program for 5 years and that led me to having no choice in my drinking....... I had no choice, I had to drink every day!!!! I spent the next 5 years drinking every day even though I did not want to!

Do not get me wrong, there are people who use the "My Way" program and are successful, but they are not here at SR because they do not need the support that SR gives.

For some folks the support they get from SR is enough, but there are folks like me that can not do it alone and need more then SR to stay sober. People like me need a program of recovery, try them see if they work for you, keep in mind that no matter what program of recovery you use, they only work if you work them.

For me I needed face to face support from fellow alcoholics, I needed the experience strength and hope from people who were alcoholics like me who had found a path to sobriety that worked for them, I need to be able to see people in person that have over 30 years of sobriety, I also need to be able to help other alcoholics stay sober and get sober face to face.

Every one is different, AA works for me, Smart may work for someone else, WFS for another, there are plenty of programs, be willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober.

[1963comet]

That memory that will keep you sober today, can keep you sober tomorrow to. It is thinking of the end result before you begin drinking.

This is what worked for me. At one time I had the same thoughts as you.

Sounds to me that you will make it because you are tired of hurting yourself and others. When the bad times out weigh the good times it is easer to quit.

[warrens]

Welcome!

I hope you find this place as helpful as I do. Here's one thing I have learned:

Find myself months later, letting myself and more importantly -- others down.

Based upon my experience and the wisdom of others, I have to disagree with the above. YOU are the most important person in your recovery. If you take care of yourself you won't have to worry about letting others down. If you do it for others however, you own less of your recovery.

Do it for yourself. As if you were the only person in the world. The rest will take care of itself.

warren