To Those Who Just Responded to: Just Registered"

[pendragn]

I want to thank those who responded to my first post Friday. Meant to check in sooner, but, stuff… I hope it’s a good mother’s day for all. Mine
(87) is in a nursing home and had a debilitating stroke a week ago today. I’m 55. Day three sober. Actually, the thought of booze right now is not appealing if not nauseating. Been wondering if I’m in some kind of detox/withdrawal. I have felt just as lousy upon waking as with a hangover. Will this pass? I must think I’m clever; one of my sayings is: “A hangover is only slightly worse than sobriety.” I still feel that way

Everyone’s triggers are different I suppose. I have been way overdoing it for about 4 years. Since last fall my schedule has allowed me to be free many early afternoons so that means the “bar” may have been open as early as 2pm. That has meant a lot of scotch and/or beer mostly.

Actually in my case, having none is easier than having one. Triggers? I smoke. I have been a daily smoker for over 7 years. And smoking and drinking seem to go together like milk and cookies. I have always drank but not like the last few years. Before that, once or twice a week, occasionally bingeing. The other thing is I used to fancy myself a writer. I did write. Big deal. So I was Ernest f---ing Hemingway. So the drinking was part affectation.

About mid-2004 I was metaphorically left at the altar for the first of two times by the same woman. Second time, shame on me. She revealed herself to be a pathological liar but it was my fault for trying a second time. The second time was January, 2006. In July ’06, I was hospitalized for atrial fibrillation (a heart irregularity). I looked it up. Excess alcohol consumption can cause it. In October ’06, I lost a high-paying job (not from drinking). I exhausted unemployment compensation before I found something else: adjunct instructor at a local community college last August. An adjunct receives very low pay with no benefits. I exhausted 18 months of COBRA health insurance and am now paying for an individual plan at $630 per month. In January, ’07, my son (now 26 and disabled; I have been divorced for 8 years) was severely ill for three months and I almost lost him. He is doing much better and he lives with me. I have been in platonic relationship with a nice southern lady for two and a half years. I am not teaching until the fall. With other resources at hand, I can squeak by.

Having the summer off is dangerous. More free time (to drink). Perhaps I picked a challenging time to stop.

I promise I will not repeat these sad tales. Allow me to ask again, on this third day is feeling really lousy physically normal?

While I will admit to having a cynical view of things, one valid coping strategy is humor.

Finally for this entry, my philosophy can be distilled down to this: Life is 97% ridiculous. It’s the 3% which allows us to go on. It consists of giving and receiving love, meaningful work (something that makes a difference), and the appreciation of beauty in art and nature. Too much to ask for? Sometimes it seems everything is too much to ask for.
P.S. someone deciphered I am in south Florida. Not originally. 20 years here, originally from Jersey, but don't hold that against me.

JD (Joe)

[fallingdown]

I hope your mom gets better Pendragn..I am sorry to hear that she had a bad stroke. To answer your question, from my own experience sure it is normal to still feel sick on the third day of sobriety. You've got a bit of withdrawal and anxiety going on there I'm sure, which can make you feel bad. And it does pass, especially if you make an effort to drink a lot of water and other liquids that are good for you, take your vitamins and try not to eat a bunch of junk. One thing that bothers me since I quit drinking is that I smoke a lot more. Up to one pack a day now, YIKES!! So you might want to be prepared for an increase in your nicotine cravings but hopefully you will have better luck than me in that regard. Good luck to you, please let us know if you get to feeling better.
Fallin'

[Tazman53]

Joe it may be get worse physically for another day or so, then it will leveel off for a while and then physically things will start to improve, this is when the really hard part kicks in..... staying stopped!!!!!

I spent 5 years going through the cycle of relapse, seeemed like the second I would get feeling good about myself was when I would decide that a drink or 2 were deserved, I mean after all I had just proved I was not an alcoholic so I deserved a few drinks!!! LOL Made perfect sense to me at the time!!

Well after 5 years of that I reached the point where I no longer mentally or physically could not go a day without drinking.

I wouldn up having to go into a detox just to stop drinking, from my prior track record I knew I had to do something to STAY sober. In detox they told me "If you want a chance to stay sober, go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor."

Well I followed thier suggestion and I have been happily sober for over a year and a half, it took time and work but I got through the hard part by using the fellowship of AA and the steps of AA.

There are other programs, I would suggest going to AA or another program to stay sober.... staying sober is the hard part, quitting is easy.... even though it may not seem like it right this second! LOL