Mother's Day

[mle-sober]

I was looking at a photo album from when my kids were smaller. Just thinking I was enjoying it. And then, as I kept looking, I realized with this slow dawning of horror, that almost all of the pictures which I am in, I was either on my way to getting drunk (had had a few glasses of wine), drunk, or obsessively thinking about getting the next drink. There I would be, posing holding a small child, smiling into the sun. And I was drunk. I remember. Christmas, Birthdays, family dinners, enjoying the back yard on a weekend -- drunk, drunk, drunk, thinking about getting drunk, drunk.

I have always thought I was a good mom. And here comes mother's day with 4 sweetly worded, beautifully colored cards on there way. And flowers. And I'm finally "getting it" about the damage I've done. I honestly didn't realize until this week. I thought it didn't affect them because I'd been so good at hiding it. Of course it affected them! What was I thinking?

I'm making a pledge today. To put my children at the top of the list of things I need to think about before I drink again. I haven't done that before. Maybe it's been obvious to others who have children that that's what you need to do. But for some reason, I've been dense about it. I can't necessarily say how it affects them but when I look at those photos and notice how what I recall was all about the alcohol that day and nothing about my children, I know it's important. I know I need to stay sober. And it would hurt them if I don't.

Thank you. I just needed to share that realization.

[51anna]

Hi,

Looking at something with a new perspective is interesting.

I think a big part of recovery is being able to see yourself in a new light.

Happy Mother's Day!

[kj3880]

Right there with you, I can't measure the damage done by my "headaches," in bed time, etc...Nor can I measure the extent of my regret.
kj

[LibertyorDeath]

Think of all the photographs to come. Take some today. FRAME THEM! See the beautiful new you...and try to let go of the past.

And in the meantime, I will try to practice what I preach, Friend.

Liberty~

[nandm]

My alcoholism left me with very few photos of my children when they were younger. I was too selfish, selfcentered, and drunk to bother with taking photos. I even forgot it was one of my childrens birthday until we were driving through the drive through of Burger King for lunch so I quickly ordered one of the toys they had on special and claimed it was her birthday present. What a mother

It has taken several years to earn back my childrens trust and faith. Only through sobriety have I been able to realize that being a mother is a special and important responsibility. I am grateful that I have been given a second chance. My oldest daughter had lost so much faith in me that she did not speak to me for a year during my early sobriety. Today she lives in the downstairs of my home and we actually have a good relationship where she knows she can count on me during the good and bad times like a child should.

To all those mothers out there I hope you have a wonderful day.

[BUTTERFLY-7]

I was always to Drunk to even be a Mom never the less
take pictures of any of his event this Day hit's hard on me
I think I haven't forgave my self truly How could you
forgive your self How I've try coming to pass with that and
can't find my self to get to that place I said it but don't feel it

[least]

the mother's day present i can give my kids is getting sober and getting my life back. i hope i can get back into rehab. i need hellp badly.

[gravity]

Happy Mothers Day!

I grew up with an alcoholic mother. She has now been sober for 18 years. I just wanted to let you know that forgiveness & trust does happen possibly sooner than you think. The love never goes away. Also, it's not my mothers drinking that stands out in my mind - it's all the good stuff that she did for me while I was growing up.

Today, I am so proud of my mom, she is my hero.

Keep moving forward!

All my best, Don

[ROFL]

I am grateful that I am sober now. I hope I have not done too much damage to my kids!