My spouse is still punishing me.

[mle-sober]

Update:

My husband and I have been talking about this over the last 2 days. And some of it was so difficult. And then we'd have these little break-throughs, like sun shining through. And by the end of the day, something wonderful really happened. Something shifted for him.

I read him this quote from Living Sober:
"We need not be ashamed that we have a disease. It is no disgrace. No one knows exactly why some people become alcoholics while others don't. It is not our fault. We did not want to become alcoholics. We did not try to get this illness.
We did not suffer alcoholism just because we enjoyed it, after all. We did not deliberately, maliciously set out to do the things we were later ashamed of. We did them against our better judgement and instinct because we were really sick, and didn't even know it."

That and the long, difficult but honest discussion (with little breaks to help us collect our thoughts and take a breath) really made a serious shift in my marriage. I slept in the same bed as my husband last night for the first time in almost 3 months. And I am so grateful. He is not looking at me with anger this morning.

I thought I should update you all. Thank you for your help. Being at SR always helps me.

[MagicMan08]

Thats wonderful news, I am very happy for you. I too lied about my drinking and using to my girlfriend. I too wanted her to forgive me right away and make everything okay, but it is not realistic sometimes. Once again, great news!