Do you think your alcoholism was inevitable?

[steamvessel]

I thought I pose a question to the board that's been on my mind. Realistically, looking back into your history and who you are as a person, do you see your descent into alcholism as an inevitable one? I know this doesn't seem the most positive way to look at things, but it can be if you see it a certain way. Part of me feels like my journey to sobriety was inevitable, and I'm exactly where I need to be right now. The strength, wisdom, and courage that I have found in dealing with my alcoholism is what I needed to find in my life. I really think that with the alcoholism that runs in my family, my personality, and my past experience it was inevitable that I was going to have a relationship with alcohol that was BEYOND normal, not to say it needed to become full-blown alcoholism, which I think I've gotten close to. But the problem was waiting to happen. I think this is all part of my emotional journey. I remember the first time I took a drink, it was like a god send, I'd never felt this good before. Now I think about not taking a drink, and well it feels like nothing I've ever felt before. Even before I started drinking.

[Astro]

Yep, I was raised in an alcoholic family, both parents and my brothers drank. I used to think that I crossed the line into alcoholism much later in life, but the truth is that I was an alcoholic long before then, I had a drinking problem form the time I took that first sip at age 14.

What I'm also just learning to understand, and it'll be a long journey, is that my codependency started at a very early age. I drank to numb the effects of that disease. Sorta like which came first, the chicken or the egg? My codependency definitely came first.

[juliee]

No, Steamvessel I came from a family where there was only the occasional Christmas or New Years toast. I too was very disciplined and had no pull toward drinking. I had a very serious, lifelong, injury and I was not aware of the slippery slope I was on. I had never had any problem with addiction in the past nor had any member of my family so why would I think I would now. It started with prescription drugs and ended up with alcohol. So, no, I know this was not a course I was bound to take. It was one I let myself get into ALL ON MY OWN!!! It is one I will have to get out of on my own to! My family has never dealt with such things and I am glad they haven't. Just kinda stinks for me cuzz I don't have anyone close to talk to about it with.

[tkdan]

Because I believe alcoholism is a disease I believe it was inevitable. I did not come from an alcoholic family but how often does someone go through their life and never have a drink? Once I started drinking I believe I activated the disease and was left with a choice. Continue and die an alcoholics death or abstain and live life to the fullest.

[ananda]

Yes - it was inevidable. I was blessed to be born in a human body, and the one I got happened to be a body that included alchoholism. I had a lot of things that happened in my life that could have "lead me to drinking" and a family filled with people who drink alchoholicly. But when I got sober the first time and "worked on" all those issues....I thought I could drink a drink since I was so healed. 8 or 9 years later I finally got sober again, and it was bad (the drinking that is).

[warrens]

Steam

I have an advantage in that I was adopted. I have no genetic history, thus I can make it whatever I wish. Some days I descend from eons of lushes, others not. What does it matter?

I am in love with a wonderful woman. We met via the internet. She and I lived 2,000 miles apart! We now sleep together every night. Was this inevitable? Did god have a plan? You are asking the wrong dude for that answer.

But I accept it. In our case, with incredible gratitude for my fortune. I also accept my alcoholism, whatever its origin and am simply grateful for my fortune to have found a way to survive it.

I can look to the past all kinds of perhapses. In an orphanage until I was 3. Genetics. The usual catastrophes of life. Yadda, yadda. But solving the puzzle of the past does nothing to prepare me for the future. Besides, half the freakin' pieces are missing. It's like the old adage about the universe: "The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination; the combination, however, is locked up inside the safe."

So yeah, where I am today was inevitable, Steam. If it weren't, I wouldn't be here. I'm one of those guys who could have died on many insane occasions. Why not? Well, for the same reason I put my arm around someone at night who I didn't know for 55 years. The answer is safely locked up inside the safe and that is where I intend to keep it.

warren

[1963comet]

Yes, I do believe it would of happened anyway. Even though there was not drinking in my family. Not even on holidays.

This might sound odd that I did not like my first drink,drug or cigarette. Do not have a clue why I even tryed it again. But turned into a drinking, pill popping, pot and cig smoking fool.

[juliee]

For me I can just as easily see my life without alcohol. Actually, I can see that life much easier and it is just as I envisioned it would be, not without problems, just without this one! I don't know exactly the how or when alcohol took hold of me (or rather chemical addiction) but I do know I was asleep at the wheel (so to speak) and my lack of vigilance has cost me dearly. I talk often to my children, nieces and nephews about getting "caught in the trap" before you know it. Stay alert and watch what you do daily!

[gravity]

My alcoholism just is. I really don't see it in terms of beginning, intermediate, or advanced stage alcoholism.

Would I have quit sooner if I grew up in a different environment, suffered more severe consequences earlier (excluding death of course), had more knowledge? - I don't know. I like to think I would have because I want to help the young people in my family (including my own children) avoid the same painful path I took. The path taken by the generation before me was way worse than mine and they are helping me - their guidance, experience, & strength is invaluable.

What is inevitable is that if I continue to drink, which is the same as not taking my recovery seriously, I will lose everything.

[ImJulie]

Absolutely!
From as far back as I can remember, my reasoning...my daily living, was that of an alcoholic's.
My dad is a recovering alcoholic, quit with AA when I was 8. Grandpa died of alcoholism.
Assorted aunts, uncles and family friends......I cant think of a family I know that hasnt been touched by it.

[frstnm]

Yes

[RK2007]

Yes, inevitable I think. There are alcoholics in my family, though I'm the only one in my immediate family.

Enjoyed drinking way too much from the beginning, went beyond enjoyment - was an obsession and my life revolved around it, but I never realised that until it really became a problem.

[Dean62]

I still remember the first time a drank. My thoughts were "this is my destiny and it always has been, my whole life has been leading me towards this very moment."
I continued to drink progressively for another 32 years.

[least]

Years ago I took a long and complicated 'personality' test - the MMPI. ONe of the conclusions drawn from my answers was that I had a tendency to be addicted to alcohol and drugs. That I was 'more likely' than most to become chemically dependent. So I'd say that my alcoholism was inevitable, from the very first drink. I've never cared much for 'reality', it's too harsh and depressing for me. (I'm also diagnosed with severe depression, which alcohol makes worse) So my drinking was very likely to escalate into a problem, cause I was drinking to escape my harsh reality. I was drinking to alter my perception. I was drinking to get drunk. I just wish I'd gotten smart earlier in my "year of hell".

[Hevyn]

Yes-inevitable, but not because of alcoholism in my family. As far as I know, no one else has the problem. I feel that my crushing shyness and social ineptness led me to alcohol. It was such a relief to take the edge off.

[mle-sober]

Steamvessel,

I've been wondering about this for the past 3 months and I don't know for sure but I have a few things worked out:

1) I remember taking sips from grown-ups from a very early age and having that be the focus of my evening. Also an accidental egg-nog intoxication at age 8 or 9 was memorable and intensely pleasurable. And my parents actually bought me aclohol when I was a teen - and they didn't feel it was harmful for even very little kids to drink some - it was treated like a special dessert that we could all share sometimes.

2) As a teen, I drank way more and with way more intent than my peers. I don't remember what parts of my story I've told and what parts I haven't but I hung out with much older men starting when I was 14 and I was keeping up with them, for the most part.

3) I have an alcoholic half-brother and at least 2 alcoholic relatives further back on each side of my family.

4) My loved ones were telling me I was an alcoholic and needed help at age 19.

5) I don't believe in destiny.

So I