Frightened & Bewildered

[jilly16]

Hi, I'm new to the site and have a history of binge drinking, not knowing when to stop etc... I had my last drink Saturday just gone. It feels quite surreal at the moment - I have had sweats at night, brain fog and slight depression ( I have been on antidepressants for about 7 years now ) - i feel very delicate and frightened at the moment . I have'nt been to an AA meeting yet as I feel I may break down whilst there - but also realise that this is maybe this would be a good cathartic thing for me . I feel very confused & tearful about the future and how I'm going to cope and would welcome any help or tips please ?

[barb dwyer]

hi Jilly -

are you consulting with a medical practitioner?
detoxing after long term alcohol use can be very dangerous.

welcome!

I got sober using the Program of AA, and the Fellowship.
They say the only meeting you're late to - is the first one.

There's other ways - it's the one I chose though.

Do you have a plan of recovery?

[indigo]

Yes it's always a good idea to go see your doctor and not to detox alone. Welcome to SR too.

[faith08]

hey jilly
i binge drink too. i have for years by myself and for years and years before that i was a weekend party-er running the bars after i graduated and running the parties before that. i understand what you are going thru.

I feel very confused & tearful about the future and how I'm going to cope

go to a meeting--don't think about what you are going to do or what reaction everyone else is going to have--just find one and go. don't think about it.
working the steps didn't work for me (i do still have my big book tho) but for some people it is a life-saving experience and continues to be. the good i got out of AA is i saw people who had a severe problem and were living fine without alcohol. it was a ray of hope that it can and was being done.
take care and if you cry, you might be surprised at the support. if you don't get it there-i guarantee you will get it here.

[supernothing]

Hi jilly, glad youve found this site.
-Three weeks ago i was feeling just as you described, scared, paranoid, terrified of the future and life in generel.
Im very blessed to say i now have three weeks sobriety.
It DOES get better and you CAN do this.
I have drank all my adult life, i started off binge drinking with friends when i went out- progressed slowly to drinking every day in excess of one bottle of wine or more, TRIED to cut down and return to drinking occasionally- which only resulted in me drinking RIDICULOUS amounts after any period of abstinence.
So after my last black out/time memory loss and raging hangover i decided to quit.
This place has been fantastic, ive also been attending AA , although i was very reluctant at first and i havent got the courage to speak out there yet it has been very helpful in keeping me focused and most importantly, sober.
Keep posting and reading, i myself have learnt alot from others experiences on here, it has helped me immesurabely to feel that i am not alone.
You dont have to be alone with this either.
Best wishes,

[least]

Finding this site was a lifesaver for me. Just to have a safe place to go for support and advice and encouragement did wonders for me. I was finally able to believe that I could stop drinking.

I would also suggest talking to your doctor as withdrawal can be dangerous.

[PaddingtonBear]

Hi Jilly,

Welcome to SR! This is a wonderful place for support - I wasn't able to stop drinking at all until I found SR. Good to have you here.

PB

[warrens]

Welcome!

You're scared. You should be. This is nasty stuff. But you have found a very safe and helpful place. It works if you really WANT it. Do you?

You can become sober and in control of your life and sanity. It's all here. If we can do it, you can do it. You may feel unique, but you are not unique.

Come here, read, learn, make a plan, get advice, and if you are WILLING to do it, it will happen. Guaranteed. Really. Are you sick and tired enough of being sick and tired? If you really want an end to it, come here.

People here are in all stages of recovery. Some are still drinking. Learn and share from us all. There will be pain, discomfort, perhaps tears. Nothing new to us. We've all been there, some of us are still there. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Envision tomorrow. What do you WANT?

warren

[CarolD]

Welcome to SR!


Glad to know you are seeking a
sober healthy life.
Depression is why I started AA.

Keep posting with us...

[tennis71]

Welcome to SR!

One thing that helped me once I accepted that I was alcoholic and needed to take action was to come up with a plan to stay sober.

I decided that I would hit the problem from a couple of different angles. I signed up and started an outpatient treatment program, I started attending AA every day, I got a sponsor and started working the steps almost immediately, I am unemployed but was afforded the opportunity to put the job search on hold while I focused on rehab in my first few months and I took that opportunity with the belief that I will be able to get a job once I have sobriety under control. Essentially I made a conscious effort to put sobriety as my # 1 priority.

I put this plan in writing so I could see how it looked and followed through with it.

The most important thing is to not get overwhelmed by "What ifs" or "Poor me" attitudes about the future or past. Take things in stride, one day at a time and remember that staying sober today will translate well into every aspect of your life.

Keep coming back and thanks for your post.

[Jomey]

Hey Jilly, Welcome to SR! I can relate to your feelings of fear. If you are open to trying an AA meeting, believe me, there is no cause for concern if you cry, sweat, shake, experience fear...I have done all of the above...I think I had them all covered during my first meeting! And, of course, SR is a wonderful, safe place to open up! Welcome! Jomey

[mle-sober]

Hi Jilly,

Glad you're here. You are taking the first baby steps and they're scary, scary, scary. I agree. But you have to take these steps to get to the next steps. It gets easier and you can definatly do this.

I got sober with AA and an outpatient treatment program. I have 76 days. The first AA meeting I went to, I was drunk. And I gave them a different name thinking that would hlep me feel better somehow!! Now we laugh at that but at the time I ws so scared of being there I thought it was better if they didn't know me. Ummm... yea - I realize now that makes no sense whatsoever.

The second meeting I went to, I still gave them the alibi name (what did I think the AA stood for?) and I cried the entire time. Really cried. Red nosed sobs.

The third meeting, I finally gave them my real name and didn't cry much - just got all teary. But no sobbing.

And now, when I walk in that door, I have this feeling of relief like I can breath. I leave my meetings feeling cleaned out somehow.

Anyway - I'm not going to wish you luck. I'm going to wish you strength. You can do this.

[reed]

what Barb said.

[Sheila77]

I broke down at my first meeting. I had 7 days or so. I cried and just kept sharing. I think I covered everything from being sick of relapsing and sick of being mean to my husband and boys. I cried and said i wanted to do everything different and get a sponsor this time and after the meeting the leader asked those who were willing to sponsor raise their hands and that night I got a sponsor! yaY!

go to a meeting, cut loose, get honest and get better. you are only as sick as your secrets! blessings, Sheila

[steamvessel]

Welcome, I'm new to the board as well. Please stick around, I found this site to be very helpful.

[sailorjohn]

WELCOME!!!!


Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

[51anna]

Hi Jilly,

Welcome!

I think it's very normal to feel scared and confused.

Stick around and read and learn.