Xanax relapse - withdrawl after just 1 week of use??

[Captain Kirk]

Friends,
I've been feeling not too good for some days now. Last week I was very anxious so I had a Xanax relapse (only 10mg in 2 or 3 days).
As some of you know I was dependant on Xanax, which I abused (sometimes up to 15 maybe 20mg a day), for a few years.
The thing is I had an alcohol slip on saturday and still this week (Wensday today) I'm feeling terrible. I'm anxious all the time, plus I have panic attacks and I'm fearing terrible events that I believe (although rationally they seem unlikly to happen) will happen in the future to me.
I was begining to think I was loosing my mind and/or that I actually was going to die. I was believeing that untill I came on the internet and did a search. I'be been so concearned with how I slipped with the alcohol during the past few days that I'd overlooked my Xanax relapse.
Is it possible that after a year I've stopped taking Xanax daily and perhaps 5 months I've stopped taking it occasionally that just after having taken it for just a few days I'd already become so addicted again (I know: once an addict always an addict) that I'm having to go through withdrawl from it again?
I hate this drug.

[Anna]

Hi Aldo,

I've never used Xanax, but I've read enough about it on these boards to be very afraid of it. I don't know if it's possible that your anxious feelings are a result of using xanax, but they could be.

Just hang on and try to get through it.

[Captain Kirk]

Thanks.
Just by chance I found a thread I'd posted a couple of weeks ago, which I'd totally forgotten about.
I couldn't figuer out why I'm feeling like this. I was concentrating on my alcohol slip and I'd overlooked the fact that I'd relapsed with Xanax last week.
Now I know why I'm feeling terrible - and that sort of makes me feal better

[Captain Kirk]

Exactly 1 year ago I quit Xanax, cold turkey, after it had cost me my relationship with my girl-friend and had "helped" me do some crazy illegal behavior, which got me in trouble.
I was unawear of this forum at the time and I kept a journal of my detox which I've just consulted. For the benifit of others I'd like to share this info:

[P.S: this is not intended as a guide to quitting Xanax. I've been on and off Xanax ever since]

2007/03/13 Last abusive dose of Xanax.

2007/03/14 Cried for last 3 days [my girl-friend had left me] untill exhaustion.

2007/03/15 Withdrawl continues. Emotions stable. Physically bad: no appitite; violent tremors; nausea; heart pounding; can't breath; audio hallucinations; headache; sensibility towards changes of [room] tempreture; difficulty talking [muscular stress]; abdominal cramps; muscle pains; I go to pharmacy looking for an anti-withdrawl - they tell me only Xanax would make me feal better. I resist.

2007/03/16 Withdrawl continues. I go to doc in afternoon. In the evening i am psyically exhausted.

2007/03/17 Slept 10 hours straight last night. Withdrawl is minimum. I eat first 2 meals in 3 days.

2007/03/18 Withdrawl is over. Very irritable.

2007/03/19 Appointment with neuro-psychiatrist he says find a job and new girl-friends [!]. He says "yes" to Xanax for social and anxiety issues. Suggests seeing a shink [i didn't]. Anxiety comes back bad in the afternoon. I see doc. He says "0,50mg in the am; 0,50mg in the pm; 1mg at nighttime". I weight 66kg [I've almost always usually fluctuated between 68kg and 75kg - eventually last year, if i remember correctly, i was down to 64kg]

2007/03/20 Very anxious as soon as I wake up. 0,25mg in the am/0,25 pm/0,50 night [i had permission from the doc - i thought it would have been ok!]

2007/03/21 0,25mg/0,50/0,50 [morning/afternoon/evening - hitherto]

2007/03/22 0,25/0,50/0,25 social event before dinner/0,50 after social event

2007/03/23 0,25/0,50/0,50/0,50 panic middle of the night.

2007/03/24 0,25/0,50/0,25

2007/03/25 0,25/0,50/0,50

2007/03/26 0,25/0,50/0,25

2007/03/27 0,25/zero/0,50

2007/03/28 0,25/0,25/0,50

2007/03/29 same as above

2007/03/30 same

2007/04/01 same + insomnia

2007/04/02 0,25/0,25/0,50

2007/04/03 0,50/0,25/0,25

2007/04/04 0,25/0,25/0,50

2007/04/05 0,25/0,25/0,50 no smoking cigarettes

2007/04/06 same as above

2007/04/07 0,25/zero/0,50 10 cigarettes

2007/04/08 0,25/0,25/0,50 20 ciggys [!]

2007/04/09 0,25/0,50/1,00 no ciggys

2007/04/10 0,25/0,25/0,50 smoking cigarettes as i used to

2007/04/11 0,25/0,50/0,50

2007/04/12 0,25/0,50/1,00 + 1mg EN [briotazolam, if i remember correctly. not prescribbed. orignally prescribbed a few years ago for muscular stress, if i remember correctly. which i then abused too]

2007/04/13 0,25/0,25/1,00 [notice how i stared saving up my prescribed doseages so i could get stoned at nighttime]

2007/04/14 0,25/0,25/0,50

2007/04/15 0,25/zero/0,50 + 2mg EN

2007/04/16 0,25/0,25/0,50 + 1mg EN

2007/04/17 0,25/zero/1,00 + 1mg EN

2007/04/19 0,25/0,25/1,00

2007/04/20 0,25/1,50/1,00 + 3mg EN [from here on it just gets worse]

2007/04/21 0,25/0,75/1,00 + 3mg EN

2007/04/22 1,00 + 1mg EN/2mg EN/1mg Xanax/1mg EN/1,50 Xanax/2mg EN [it looks like i was taking them like candy from here on because the morning/afternoon/evening becomes out of sync. From here things just get worser and worser which I will not publish as this is not intended as a "how to abuse Xanax" guide. All I can say is my consumption from here on returned to what it was before i attempted to wuit and within less than a week from here i fell off the alcohol wagon, after being 7 and half years sober.

Bad medications. Stay away from. Get yourself help NOW.

[Dee74]

I hope you start to feel better soon Aldo. Like I've been saying, man - get help.

D

[Captain Kirk]

Just for the record, I'm feeling better now. For a week I was feeling terrible though. I was in panic 24/7 for that wole week. Horrible

[Anna]

Good to see you're feeling better, Aldo!

[Missymae737]

Aldo,

I am thinking of you...Zanax addiction was horrible for me...The detox was far worse than alcohol withdrawal...I had to be institutionalized...I don't think I could slip once...I would be back in oblivion addiction...

I am glad you are feeling better...

[Captain Kirk]

Originally Posted by Missymae737

I don't think I could slip once...I would be back in oblivion addiction...

Yea, I concur. That's the conclussion I've come too as well. Never again. Horrible drug. Satan himself in the form of a pill!

[GlassPrisoner]

I'm an alkie, not a druggie, but I know that when I went back to drinking for 3 weeks (After about 6 weeks of abstinence) the withdrawal was worse than it was when I had originally tried to stop.

Our diseases are progressive. They get worse, never better. We can never control AND enjoy our use.

[ex D-Boy]

great to hear but ya when your only that short amount of time clean even if you use for just one day youll be back to full blown addiction.

From personal experience I remember a year or so ago when I detoxed cold turkey and was like 14 days clean and starting to feel better I thought "Great I beat the addiction now i can use again and not go through withdrawal" I used dope for 2 days and went back to the same length and intensity of withdrawal. You need to give your body more than a few weeks to clear itself out.

Glad your doing well now, just remember this if you decide to use again in a week or so thinking you wont go through withdrawal again. you will and it will be just as harsh as before you even tried to quit.

Be safe~