Types of alcoholism? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

1CountryBoy · 03-13-2008, 01:11 AM

My mother was an alcoholic but has been sober for several years now. She has never looked back and wanted to drink again the way she once did. She quit with the help of her family and sheer will power. And her grandchildren had a lot to do with it. When she had been stone sober for almost a year, one of her friends who was also a recovering alcoholic told her that she was a "situational" alcoholic. That because she was depressed about her job, and her home, and lonely, she drank to excesses to fill the void. My mom quit drinking when she moved to a new town, found a new home there, and became involved with the people that she worked with. So it was as if she turned a corner and no longer needed the crutch of alcohol. I should say that she drank heavily for the better part of 15 years before that point. To this day she is sober, and never mentions alcohol at all unless someone brings it up, but then she really talks about her decade and a half of alcoholism with disgust. Is there such a thing as a situational alcoholic? I was around her the whole time when she gave up the bottle and it was almost miraculous. Are there just those who can quit on the spot and walk away from that life and never look back? She did, but I wonder how rare this is. Anyone else been able to accomplish this task and can shed some light on why it may have seemed so effortless for her?

Dee74 · 03-13-2008, 01:50 AM

I quit on the spot and walked away, but only after 15 years of trying to stop, with varying degrees of determination....

...dunno about never look back tho...the first few months were hard - real hard.

Looking back I realise I finally reached the point of despair, of hopelessness, of fear, where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and I thank God I did.

I find talk of 'situational' alcoholics and 'real' alcoholics pretty tiresome...it's like grading papers to me...there are real people with real problems - however they find the path back, and for whatever reasons, I say 'great work'

D

29a · 03-13-2008, 04:55 AM

I'm a situational alcoholic, every situation makes me drink ;-)

It's hard to give things labels, she may have just been a heavy drinker.

**CarolD** · 03-13-2008, 05:09 AM

The God I believe in can do miracles.
The biggest one He did for me was to remove my drinking obcession.

Not in the same manner as you described
Miracles are very personal IMO

Glad your Mom is enjoying sobriety.

gutterman317 · 03-13-2008, 05:24 AM

Usually if that happens it is God given. People try to accomplish that their whole lives, I am living proof. There was a book wrote back in 1939, called the big book of AA, and that's the only goal it had in mind, was total recovery of alcoholism through a spiritual awakening.

***indigo*** · 03-13-2008, 06:14 AM

Congratulations on your moms sober time and welcome to SR.

aldo1980 · 03-13-2008, 06:56 AM

Interesting thoughts going into this thread.
But, in my humble oppinion, does it really matter? I mean: "occasional drunk"; "weekend warrior"; "problem drinker"; "heavy drinker"; "situational alcoholic"; "alcoholic"; "chronic alcoholic" etc. etc. What's the point of measuring the quantity of our illness? Is the outcome not the same? When the alcohol is damaging our lives and the lives of thoese around us does it really matter how ill we are? We're ill and we need to focus on getting better.

nogard · 03-13-2008, 06:58 AM

great responses, no need to add more

Welcome to SR CB

Mick HK · 03-13-2008, 08:03 AM

I actually agree that there are very different types of alcoholism (based, of course, on nothing more than my own observations.) And I think it IS important to think about what 'kind' of alkie you are, because it's going to make getting better a damn sight easier.

As an example; a situational alcoholic probably doesn't need AA; she needs to change her situation (of course, AA might help her realise that!) Someone who drinks through depression needs meds or therapy, possibly. Someone with a strong religious faith might obviously benefit from a religious / spiritual program like AA. And so on. It can't do any harm to know your enemy! I don't think it's to do with measuring the amount of drink taken or the frequency of lapse or whatever, but rather the reasons motivating the behaviour and the justifications for it. Or something!

dave47 · 03-13-2008, 08:32 AM

One of the lads i used to drink with did it when he became a father. He was as bad as me, if not worse and he made a decision and walked away. Seven years later, with two daughters he couldn't be happier and has no interest in drink. You can do it if you really want to.I think that in his priorities alcohol wasn't important anymore. Welcome to SR, by the way.

29a · 03-13-2008, 09:18 AM

The big book says something to the effect of "a hard drinker will be able to stop or moderate if he has sufficient reason to do so"

1963comet · 03-13-2008, 09:47 AM

I have known a few people that did what your mother did. My step dad told my mother one day he was going to quit the next friday and he did it. He was sober 10 years before he died.

I have done the same thing. I thought if my sted dad can do it, so can I. Today the thought of drinking just makes me ill. Have not touched it in over seven years. I love my life today and would not change a thing.

mattcake79 · 03-13-2008, 09:56 AM

Countryboy, my father heavily abused alcohol for several years, then suddenly stopped because "it is bad for me"; no AA, no support, no nothing. He has never looked back. He keeps beer in the fridge for me.

My personal belief is that, as each one of us is unique and irreplaceable, so it our drinking behaviour (among countless other things). I feel there are as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics.

Matt

NoelleR · 03-13-2008, 10:43 AM

One other thing has crossed my mind.....perhaps she wasn't an alcoholic....

I believe that there are: 1) alcoholics; and 2) folks who drink alcoholically for a time, but are not alcoholics.

There are many folks out there who, to look at, one might think they were alcoholics....they drank alcoholically.....but it could have been due to their situations.....and when the situations changed, or the person's perception of the situations changed, the drinking was no longer necessary.

I've known some folks who were going thru tough times, and turned to drink for a while.....but after a while they saw the error of their ways and changed. Some have even been able to drink on occasion, as a normal drinker.....go figure..... just cause it may walk like a duck, or quack like a duck, it may just be an impersonator.....

Just a thought..... (o:

NoelleR

22NGONE · 03-13-2008, 10:57 AM

I know a guy at Church who after I announced I was an Alcoholic in AA said he quit cold turkey after 25 years of heavy drinking and black outs. I think I am learning from AA that there is a difference between not drinking and recovering. I'm opting for recovering and working the steps. John

bugsworth · 03-13-2008, 01:06 PM

Country, It's just a word game! You say your mother drank heavily for 15 years...nothing "situational" about that!! It boils down to being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know many people who have quit just this way. Human beings are powerful, so many things are possible!

mle-sober · 03-13-2008, 01:36 PM

My brother was a horrible drunk for 20 yrs - DUIs, violence toward his girlfriend, finding himself in dumpsters, etc. We thought he would never quit. And then one day - he says there was nothing different about it - he realized he was going to die. And he sat down in a chair and put one hand one one arm and the other hand on the other arm and said, "If I keep my hands on this chair, I can't hold alcohol." Obviously, he still had to get up to eat and use the facilities. He called in sick for 1 week while he detoxed. A friend brought over some things he needed. But when his hands were not busy with other essential tasks, he kept them on the chair and made that his mission. He has been sober for 10 yrs. Five yrs or so ago, when I first heard him tell that story, I cried. It was so painful. Alcohol is a demon to me. Now, what I think that story reveals is (1) that we *can* quit if we are sufficiently motivated and (2) that my brother is a stubborn mule who can do whatever he sets his mind to.
I have no idea how that pertains to being a situational drunk, sorry.

03-13-2008, 01:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
1CountryBoy Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Central,Wi. Posts: 8	Types of alcoholism? My mother was an alcoholic but has been sober for several years now. She has never looked back and wanted to drink again the way she once did. She quit with the help of her family and sheer will power. And her grandchildren had a lot to do with it. When she had been stone sober for almost a year, one of her friends who was also a recovering alcoholic told her that she was a "situational" alcoholic. That because she was depressed about her job, and her home, and lonely, she drank to excesses to fill the void. My mom quit drinking when she moved to a new town, found a new home there, and became involved with the people that she worked with. So it was as if she turned a corner and no longer needed the crutch of alcohol. I should say that she drank heavily for the better part of 15 years before that point. To this day she is sober, and never mentions alcohol at all unless someone brings it up, but then she really talks about her decade and a half of alcoholism with disgust. Is there such a thing as a situational alcoholic? I was around her the whole time when she gave up the bottle and it was almost miraculous. Are there just those who can quit on the spot and walk away from that life and never look back? She did, but I wonder how rare this is. Anyone else been able to accomplish this task and can shed some light on why it may have seemed so effortless for her?

03-13-2008, 01:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 grouch Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: far out. Posts: 7,871	I quit on the spot and walked away, but only after 15 years of trying to stop, with varying degrees of determination.... ...dunno about never look back tho...the first few months were hard - real hard. Looking back I realise I finally reached the point of despair, of hopelessness, of fear, where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and I thank God I did. I find talk of 'situational' alcoholics and 'real' alcoholics pretty tiresome...it's like grading papers to me...there are real people with real problems - however they find the path back, and for whatever reasons, I say 'great work' D
	__________________ No More Groundhog Day!! Never argue with an idiot: they'll drag you down to their level - and beat you with experience....

03-13-2008, 04:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
29a God is my benzo Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Charlotte, nc Posts: 199	I'm a situational alcoholic, every situation makes me drink ;-) It's hard to give things labels, she may have just been a heavy drinker.
	__________________ If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

03-13-2008, 05:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 13,782	The God I believe in can do miracles. The biggest one He did for me was to remove my drinking obcession. Not in the same manner as you described Miracles are very personal IMO Glad your Mom is enjoying sobriety.
	__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery...

03-13-2008, 06:14 AM	#6 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 8,826	Congratulations on your moms sober time and welcome to SR.
	__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

03-13-2008, 05:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
gutterman317 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Whiteland IN Posts: 41	Usually if that happens it is God given. People try to accomplish that their whole lives, I am living proof. There was a book wrote back in 1939, called the big book of AA, and that's the only goal it had in mind, was total recovery of alcoholism through a spiritual awakening.

03-13-2008, 06:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
aldo1980 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: on the moon Posts: 760	Interesting thoughts going into this thread. But, in my humble oppinion, does it really matter? I mean: "occasional drunk"; "weekend warrior"; "problem drinker"; "heavy drinker"; "situational alcoholic"; "alcoholic"; "chronic alcoholic" etc. etc. What's the point of measuring the quantity of our illness? Is the outcome not the same? When the alcohol is damaging our lives and the lives of thoese around us does it really matter how ill we are? We're ill and we need to focus on getting better.
	__________________ sober since 2008-03-16 soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/133465-introduction-my-story.html

03-13-2008, 06:58 AM	#8 (permalink)
nogard Connected at last Join Date: May 2005 Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia Posts: 11,074	great responses, no need to add more Welcome to SR CB
	__________________ ...And like a bird that's on the wing and is flying free He can hear the song of home endlessly

03-13-2008, 08:03 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mick HK Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Hong Kong Posts: 276	I actually agree that there are very different types of alcoholism (based, of course, on nothing more than my own observations.) And I think it IS important to think about what 'kind' of alkie you are, because it's going to make getting better a damn sight easier. As an example; a situational alcoholic probably doesn't need AA; she needs to change her situation (of course, AA might help her realise that!) Someone who drinks through depression needs meds or therapy, possibly. Someone with a strong religious faith might obviously benefit from a religious / spiritual program like AA. And so on. It can't do any harm to know your enemy! I don't think it's to do with measuring the amount of drink taken or the frequency of lapse or whatever, but rather the reasons motivating the behaviour and the justifications for it. Or something!
	__________________ Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

03-13-2008, 08:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
dave47 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England Posts: 1,319	One of the lads i used to drink with did it when he became a father. He was as bad as me, if not worse and he made a decision and walked away. Seven years later, with two daughters he couldn't be happier and has no interest in drink. You can do it if you really want to.I think that in his priorities alcohol wasn't important anymore. Welcome to SR, by the way.
	__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer.

03-13-2008, 09:18 AM	#11 (permalink)
29a God is my benzo Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Charlotte, nc Posts: 199	The big book says something to the effect of "a hard drinker will be able to stop or moderate if he has sufficient reason to do so"
	__________________ If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

03-13-2008, 09:47 AM	#12 (permalink)
1963comet Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,317	I have known a few people that did what your mother did. My step dad told my mother one day he was going to quit the next friday and he did it. He was sober 10 years before he died. I have done the same thing. I thought if my sted dad can do it, so can I. Today the thought of drinking just makes me ill. Have not touched it in over seven years. I love my life today and would not change a thing.
	__________________ Just Maybe... It is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true we do not know what we have been missing until it Arrives.

03-13-2008, 09:56 AM	#13 (permalink)
mattcake79 ein einziger Zug Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Still orbiting Posts: 710	Countryboy, my father heavily abused alcohol for several years, then suddenly stopped because "it is bad for me"; no AA, no support, no nothing. He has never looked back. He keeps beer in the fridge for me. My personal belief is that, as each one of us is unique and irreplaceable, so it our drinking behaviour (among countless other things). I feel there are as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics. Matt

03-13-2008, 10:43 AM	#14 (permalink)
NoelleR Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 479	One other thing has crossed my mind.....perhaps she wasn't an alcoholic.... I believe that there are: 1) alcoholics; and 2) folks who drink alcoholically for a time, but are not alcoholics. There are many folks out there who, to look at, one might think they were alcoholics....they drank alcoholically.....but it could have been due to their situations.....and when the situations changed, or the person's perception of the situations changed, the drinking was no longer necessary. I've known some folks who were going thru tough times, and turned to drink for a while.....but after a while they saw the error of their ways and changed. Some have even been able to drink on occasion, as a normal drinker.....go figure..... just cause it may walk like a duck, or quack like a duck, it may just be an impersonator..... Just a thought..... (o: NoelleR

03-13-2008, 10:57 AM	#15 (permalink)
22NGONE Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Medina, OH, USA Posts: 260	I know a guy at Church who after I announced I was an Alcoholic in AA said he quit cold turkey after 25 years of heavy drinking and black outs. I think I am learning from AA that there is a difference between not drinking and recovering. I'm opting for recovering and working the steps. John

03-13-2008, 01:06 PM	#16 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957	Country, It's just a word game! You say your mother drank heavily for 15 years...nothing "situational" about that!! It boils down to being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know many people who have quit just this way. Human beings are powerful, so many things are possible!
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957

03-13-2008, 01:36 PM	#17 (permalink)
mle-sober mle-sober Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Golden, CO Posts: 483	My brother was a horrible drunk for 20 yrs - DUIs, violence toward his girlfriend, finding himself in dumpsters, etc. We thought he would never quit. And then one day - he says there was nothing different about it - he realized he was going to die. And he sat down in a chair and put one hand one one arm and the other hand on the other arm and said, "If I keep my hands on this chair, I can't hold alcohol." Obviously, he still had to get up to eat and use the facilities. He called in sick for 1 week while he detoxed. A friend brought over some things he needed. But when his hands were not busy with other essential tasks, he kept them on the chair and made that his mission. He has been sober for 10 yrs. Five yrs or so ago, when I first heard him tell that story, I cried. It was so painful. Alcohol is a demon to me. Now, what I think that story reveals is (1) that we can quit if we are sufficiently motivated and (2) that my brother is a stubborn mule who can do whatever he sets his mind to. I have no idea how that pertains to being a situational drunk, sorry.