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03-09-2008, 09:43 PM
| #152 (permalink) |
| Mom was right.  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 380
| 45 days sober and I have found myself struggling the last few days. Not so much with drinking but with life. I know if I continue on the way I have the last couple of days I will drink. It's not a matter of "if" but "when". Depression has been creeping up on me and today it took a turn for the worst, I actually had a panic attack for the first time in a very long time. I found myself not wanting to talk to or be around people at all today. I know isolating is the wrong thing for me to be doing but I didn't feel like it was mine to control today. I haven't been able to do a good job of turning my will over today. Looking at my life I know things must change, so many things that did not matter when I had alcohol are now beginning to matter. Good and bad things. I don't want to drink today I'm just not sure how to deal with all this.....life. The best way to describe it is I'm stuck. I don't know how to move forward and I don't want to go back. |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dean62 For This Useful Post: |
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03-10-2008, 07:19 AM
| #153 (permalink) |
| Keep me where the light is  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,051
| Hi Dean, I'm sorry that you have been having a tough go of it. Have you been working the AA program - meetings, sponsor, steps? I find that I now have some insight as to why I react the way I do when things get difficult and can deal with it in a better way. The past 2 weeks have been a real challenge for me (close family member's life is falling apart mainly because of alcohol, I'm just getting over the flu) but I did not drink through it, I did what I could do, & today is a new day. Maybe this is one of those one day at a time situations (aren't they all?). Do what you can today (try & focus on that), don't worry about the past/future. There are so many things in life that require time, ongoing effort, and patience. And we are allowed to have off days. Regarding 'moving forward', I've had days where just getting through it sober has been accomplishment enough (and this is an accomplishment). When I don't feel like facing the outside world, I pray, read the BB, & post on SR to strengthen my sobriety. Take care. D |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gravity For This Useful Post: |
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03-10-2008, 07:29 AM
| #154 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the netherlands
Posts: 220
| i'm kinda getting sick and tired of relapsing everytime again.... I really do... day 2 holding on... |
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__________________ “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.” “You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.” “If you suffer, thank God! -- it is a sure sign that you are alive.” | |
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03-10-2008, 10:55 AM
| #156 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California
Posts: 340
| Hi Coming Clean.. Congratulations on the two days. Just hang in there. Day three is much better, and man, day six: like a million times better. It's simply true that you're in the middle of a tough few days. Cut yourself some slack about how you feel, but just get through them anyway you can. Just get to bed sober each night! Dean62: I had a weekend among a lot of people. It was tough at first, but now I feel a lot better. Do whatever you can to not isolate yourself. Quite frankly, we have a disease that wants to kill us. Isolating is what it wants us to do. Get out there, you'll feel better. Thought I would give some advice since I am all of 3 weeks sober today. Talking like I'm an old-timer. These thoughts are sent with the best of intentions. Hey to everyone else! Especially Gravity, who is the engine that keeps our thread rolling. Rock on. -- NM |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Negative Man For This Useful Post: | gravity (03-10-2008),
mattcake79 (03-10-2008)
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03-10-2008, 11:02 AM
| #157 (permalink) |
| ein einziger Zug  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Still orbiting
Posts: 710
| Checking in, day 18. I'm okay, I've gotten used to the emotional turmoil I'm feeling, and am willing to give myself the time I need to settle down. I'm over with struggling with Time. Matt |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to mattcake79 For This Useful Post: | gravity (03-10-2008)
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03-10-2008, 11:18 AM
| #158 (permalink) | |
| Anxiety King  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 404
| Hey 'old man'! Quote:
NM: With those 3 weeks (plus your previous time), I'd say you're an old-timer. Just don't start yelling for us kids to get off your damn lawn!  But I agree, isolation is okay now and then when you need a break from people, but too much of it isn't a good thing. Matt: Great work with the 18 days, and in time, the emotional roller coaster slows down and becomes less erratic. Just don't beat yourself up during the down times. | |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to SF69 For This Useful Post: | mattcake79 (03-10-2008)
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03-10-2008, 03:33 PM
| #159 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: UK
Posts: 42
| Hi all, This time 14 days ago I posted my first post on another forum...feeling very shaky and depressed and hung over. What a roller coaster of a two weeks. But here I am...still sober. Just wanted to celebrate by saying hi GG  ps HI Matt...I followed you! |
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03-10-2008, 03:54 PM
| #160 (permalink) |
| Keep me where the light is Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,051
| GG: 14 days  ! "shaky and depressed and hung over" no more! It just keeps getting better.Matt: 18 days ! I really liked your Time post. It made me think about how even though sometimes I wish I could turn back Time, there are no 'do overs' - but there are second chances!NM: 3 weeks + 40 days from before! You are becoming a wise, sober old-timer. You can sit SF69 on your knee and tell him your tale: "I remember when I used to drink..." Sobriety is such a good place to be! |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to gravity For This Useful Post: | mattcake79 (03-10-2008)
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03-10-2008, 05:27 PM
| #162 (permalink) |
| Mom was right. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 380
| It is good to come here and get some impute from the "oldtimers". Thanks guys. Hello to all here in the 3mo thread. I have spent the day alone again except for my 16 month old grandson EZ. The little bugar peed on my bed. What a monster. He kept jumping on me and laughing. I'd like to tap into some of that energy. Still sober and I've had enough of my self imposed quarantine. I wonder if the world was able to survive without me? |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Dean62 For This Useful Post: | gravity (03-10-2008)
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03-10-2008, 06:05 PM
| #163 (permalink) |
| Fighting the good fight  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia
Posts: 306
| Hi all, Well, I'm 86 Days today - another couple of days and I won't be able to post in here any more! I'm wondering if I should attempt a 3 - 6 month sober thread, but I don't know that I'll have the power of Omega Man to help me through it.... Omega, where are ya?!?! It's pretty exciting, I had a few moments at my meeting last night and have decided that i need to start going to more meetings, and find myself a sponsor so i can begin my steps. It's a big start, and I've got a lot on my plate, but I know if I don't work with this I will end up dry but not sober. There's a lot of crap in my head that needs sorting out! At least, not drinking, I can see that and work on it. Glad to see you're all still here, Gravity, Rob, NM, Dean, SF, GG, matt, least, coming_clean, scaredykat and everyone else - I know we're all in the same boat, and from what I can gather a lot of people have had a hard couple of weeks - maybe it's that time of year? Anyway, I'll leave it with you guys, have a great day/night and chat soon, ndz |
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__________________ “When a warrior learns to stop the internal dialogue, everything becomes possible; the most far-fetched schemes become attainable.” - Carlos Castaneda “The warrior's approach is to say "yes" to life: "yea" to it all.” - Joseph Campbell | |
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03-10-2008, 08:43 PM
| #164 (permalink) |
| Mom was right. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 380
| 86 days  Rule 62 states "Graduates of this thread can visit whenever they want". |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Dean62 For This Useful Post: | scaredykat (03-11-2008)
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03-10-2008, 10:24 PM
| #165 (permalink) |
| ein einziger Zug Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Still orbiting
Posts: 710
| Thanks everyone for the nice welcome. I posted reluctantly, almost scared to blow it. But there it is. SF69: Thanks for the advice. I'm not beating myself up, I accept my moods as they come. Gravity: Glad you liked that thread, it just poured out of me. It was healing. Thanks for the welcome. GG: Let's follow each others footsteps, sounds like a fun game. So glad you're here! NDZ: Thanks you! Congrats on 86 days!! NM: Rock on  Dean: I get you, hold on tight, I'm so happy we're sharing a boat (*devil laugh*) Wheew! So here we go. Take care everyone, Matt |
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03-11-2008, 03:58 AM
| #167 |
