New and scared
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
New and scared
Hello everyone,
I'm new to the site and to tell you the truth I'm very scared. I think I'm scared to admit that i have a problem and scared to think that i can never take a drink again I'm scared to think what my family will think.. they have no idea. I wasn't even sure if i have a real problem until i tried to stop...it not as easy as i thought it would. My excuse not to stop is fear if detoxing i don't want my family to find out but I'm to scared to do it at home.. this situation leads me to hit the bottle once again every night. The only person who know about my drinking is my fiance who i live with. I promised him i would cut back...so i started off by staying sober one night a week and by sober i mean i have a tylenol PM or i will never fall asleep. Anyone have any advise for me..? I dont want my problem to get worse
I'm new to the site and to tell you the truth I'm very scared. I think I'm scared to admit that i have a problem and scared to think that i can never take a drink again I'm scared to think what my family will think.. they have no idea. I wasn't even sure if i have a real problem until i tried to stop...it not as easy as i thought it would. My excuse not to stop is fear if detoxing i don't want my family to find out but I'm to scared to do it at home.. this situation leads me to hit the bottle once again every night. The only person who know about my drinking is my fiance who i live with. I promised him i would cut back...so i started off by staying sober one night a week and by sober i mean i have a tylenol PM or i will never fall asleep. Anyone have any advise for me..? I dont want my problem to get worse
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 219
Sleep was an is an issue with many of us. It does get easier, but it does take time.
I was scared to death for years...kept thinking that I could do it on my own or just slow down. Nothing I tried worked until I finally had enough and when I decided that I was more important than the alcohol.
You can do this, but you need to have a plan and support of some kind.
The only real advice I can give you is to speak with your Doctor. That was the first thing I did when I decided to quit (this time) and it made a huge difference.
I was scared to death for years...kept thinking that I could do it on my own or just slow down. Nothing I tried worked until I finally had enough and when I decided that I was more important than the alcohol.
You can do this, but you need to have a plan and support of some kind.
The only real advice I can give you is to speak with your Doctor. That was the first thing I did when I decided to quit (this time) and it made a huge difference.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
Thanks for the advise... all the doctors i go to i have lied to about my drinking im so embarrassed.. i have been in denial for so long... I'm still on my parents insurance and telling them about my problem is jsut something that i don't think i can see myself doing. I have the support of my fiance so i was thinking about trying to detox at home...when you spoke with ur doctor did they suggest a detox place for the first week or so..?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 219
It was very embarrassing to speak with my doctor, but it is something that you really should do.
My daughter is still on my insurance and honestly they don't tell me why she is seeing them. She's over 18 and I have no access to her records.
Even if your parents knew do you think that they wouldn't be supportive? Just curious...I know that no matter what my daughter is going through I will be as supportive as I can. I would be proud to know that she was able to come and talk to me.
When I saw my Doctor we did not discuss going to an outpatient program. I was able to do it at home with his help and with the support I got from here.
My daughter is still on my insurance and honestly they don't tell me why she is seeing them. She's over 18 and I have no access to her records.
Even if your parents knew do you think that they wouldn't be supportive? Just curious...I know that no matter what my daughter is going through I will be as supportive as I can. I would be proud to know that she was able to come and talk to me.
When I saw my Doctor we did not discuss going to an outpatient program. I was able to do it at home with his help and with the support I got from here.
minute by minute
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: panama city beach
Posts: 3
pom
new to this too...on my 2nd day...and going through detox. Sleeping was always a problem if I didn't drink...I couldnt fall asleep...I had to pass out. Everything you are experiencing someone here has...so don't be afraid to ask. Good luck
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Welcome to you both, Pom & Pan.
I white-knuckled my detox, I was too ashamed and didn't think that detox was an option if I wasn't a gutter drunk. That was bad thinking on my part, detox can be deadly so it's always best to seek the advice of a doctor or specialist. Please play it safely.
Our loved ones are usually more aware of our addictions than we are, they've been living and dealing with it. The first step of recovery for me was getting honest with everyone including myself. Once I had it out in the open it was much easier to accept help and seek out support.
I white-knuckled my detox, I was too ashamed and didn't think that detox was an option if I wasn't a gutter drunk. That was bad thinking on my part, detox can be deadly so it's always best to seek the advice of a doctor or specialist. Please play it safely.
Our loved ones are usually more aware of our addictions than we are, they've been living and dealing with it. The first step of recovery for me was getting honest with everyone including myself. Once I had it out in the open it was much easier to accept help and seek out support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
I know that my paretns would be supportive I'm jsut too ashamed to tell them..How could i have let it get this far.... Second day how is it going? are you doing this on your own? I'm So soo afraid to try it... i have gone 48 hrs before (not because it was my choice but because i was staying with my sister and i had no other choice) and woke up in the middle of he night completely drenched and i had no idea why and now looking back now i guess i was detoxing and didn't even know it. I'm not going to drink tonight but I I am going to take a tylenol PM..or i will never fall asleep Congrats on day two i wish i had your will power!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
I guess i never realized how much of my life is surrounded with drinking...will i ever be able to go hang out a bar with Friends WITHOUT drinking...do i have to ban alcohol in my house... i wish there was some way to control my drinking with out having to stop drinking... i really thought i was in control.. this is going to be very hard for me.. i don't know if I'm ready but i also don't know if i will ever be ready.. but i do know i dont want to have to drink to go to sleep at night!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 219
Originally Posted by Pomlover 
I know that my paretns would be supportive I'm jsut too ashamed to tell them..How could i have let it get this far....
Originally Posted by Pomlover
i was staying with my sister and i had no other choice) and woke up in the middle of he night completely drenched and i had no idea why
Please consider talking to your doctor
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379
Alcohol makes us believe that we can't fall asleep without it. I'm on day 105 and still worry about falling asleep. I have taught myself that it's not the end of the world if it takes longer or I have to get up again and it does get easier with time. I actually try and relish the moments of falling asleep and not passing out.
Your body going through detox is another matter though, please try and put the feeling of shame aside. Trust me you aren't the first and being sober will make you feel far more proud than the shame you feel now. Hang in there and good luck.
Your body going through detox is another matter though, please try and put the feeling of shame aside. Trust me you aren't the first and being sober will make you feel far more proud than the shame you feel now. Hang in there and good luck.
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
Don't be fooled into thinking that nobody knows about your problem. When I finally told people that I had a drinking problem and I had decided to stop they all knew but were afraid to say anything. When I told my doctor I cried. I think it helped me tremendously to tell people that I had a problem. Now I am accountable...and doing well at 95 days. I also have trouble sleeping sometimes even now but I don't need to "pass out" ... great feeling. (I would put a sleeping smilie here but we don't have any...lol)
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I agree with everyone here that you must tell your doctor. Remember they are in the medical field and you won't be the first or the last person to walk into their office and tell them you are in need of help because your drinking has gotten out of control. They will understand and they will NOT tell your parents if you are over the age of 18 I believe.
Now I have 2 perspectives here. I am an alcoholic and I am a mother. I know the side you are coming from and I "think" I know the side of your parents or at least I know the side of myself as a parent. My son is 7 years old and if he came to me one day later in life and said he had a problem with alcohol and he was in need of help I would embrace that moment. First, the fact he felt comfortable to confide in me and second, the fact that he was willing to do something about it would make me very proud.
I have told him over and over and will tell him even when he rolls his eyes at me that there is nothing he could ever do or be that would make me stop loving him. I have the same unconditional love for him as most parents have for their children.
As far as freaking out over the never being able to drink again thought I would suggest you try to live in the moment. I totally get that thought because I was there when I started the sober journey. I can tell you now that I barely ever think of drinking and it is not an enticement as it once was.
My mantra was "Drinking is not an option." I wish you well and by the way, welcome to SR. SR has been my life jacket.
Now I have 2 perspectives here. I am an alcoholic and I am a mother. I know the side you are coming from and I "think" I know the side of your parents or at least I know the side of myself as a parent. My son is 7 years old and if he came to me one day later in life and said he had a problem with alcohol and he was in need of help I would embrace that moment. First, the fact he felt comfortable to confide in me and second, the fact that he was willing to do something about it would make me very proud.
I have told him over and over and will tell him even when he rolls his eyes at me that there is nothing he could ever do or be that would make me stop loving him. I have the same unconditional love for him as most parents have for their children.
As far as freaking out over the never being able to drink again thought I would suggest you try to live in the moment. I totally get that thought because I was there when I started the sober journey. I can tell you now that I barely ever think of drinking and it is not an enticement as it once was.
My mantra was "Drinking is not an option." I wish you well and by the way, welcome to SR. SR has been my life jacket.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Pomlover
This addiction *loves* fear, shame and embarrassment - it can use them like no other emotions to get what it needs - no action, no change and more booze.
You can break the cycle and get the ball moving on a new life - please do at least speak with your fiance and a doctor.
Keep posting too - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
This addiction *loves* fear, shame and embarrassment - it can use them like no other emotions to get what it needs - no action, no change and more booze.
You can break the cycle and get the ball moving on a new life - please do at least speak with your fiance and a doctor.
Keep posting too - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 159
Hi Pomlover and welcome
Don't overthink the future if you can help it. Now is not the time to worry about *never* having a drink again, or if you have to ban it from your house or your insurance. Now is time to take care of yourself, for today.
It did my head it a bit at first thinking about never ever, but after a while, those feelings passed as I felt better through not drinking and the fellowship of AA. I can be around people drinking, go to pubs, whatever, and it does not bother me. It's not that way for everyone, but you have to find your own way and level of comfort. But really, stressing about that right now is counterproductive. Best of luck to you and please go talk to your doctor.
Don't overthink the future if you can help it. Now is not the time to worry about *never* having a drink again, or if you have to ban it from your house or your insurance. Now is time to take care of yourself, for today.
It did my head it a bit at first thinking about never ever, but after a while, those feelings passed as I felt better through not drinking and the fellowship of AA. I can be around people drinking, go to pubs, whatever, and it does not bother me. It's not that way for everyone, but you have to find your own way and level of comfort. But really, stressing about that right now is counterproductive. Best of luck to you and please go talk to your doctor.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
I did it... over 24 hrs sober! It wasn't as hard as i thought it was going to be although i did cheat a little and take a tylenol PM before bed.. but i still made it with out a sip to drink!
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