TOPIC: SR I Need You Once Again. Friends In Need R Friends Indeed.

[aasharon90]

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent had the
desire to pick up a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely grateful.

SR friends once again am I in need of
your own experiences, strengths and
hopes. As in the past you all came to
my rescue for different things happening
thru out my recovery.

And for YOU, I am truely grateful.

As some of u know, I returned to my
hometown of Baton Rouge a little over
yr ago after living in Houston for 10 yrs.

During those 10 yrs i wanted to move
home so bad that i cried, yelled to
the heavens and prayed that His
will be done in my life....now here
I am and here I have been for the
past yr separated from a 25 yr marriage.

There are no regrets....no remorse....no
disappointments.....

Today I have another hurdle to over come
before I am completely free from being
lawfully married.....

We have begun with small steps with
questions and soon some paper work...

My husband continues to live in Houston
where he wishes to remain and I wish
to remain here at home.....

The move back home was due to a
job interview i had and was hired....

My husband agreed to help me look
for an apt., return to Houston, load
a truck and get me back home to
begin my new job within a week.

All that was successful and Ive been
living by myself happier than ive
ever been in my life.....

Now that the divorce is around the
corner, im beginning to feel a
little anxious.....and all i want is
for all the legal stuff to go quickly
and end peacefullly.

SR....if you dont mind riding with me
on this journey and comfort me
and share ur ESH with me i would
be so grateful.....

Maybe some of you have been
there dont that and hearing
how u survived and what i need
to do or look for or any suggestions
to guide me along, would be very
helpful.....

When it comes to legal stuff....
finacial problems i am sad to say...
i havent a clue.....my husband
did all the bills and finances
while i reared the kids....

Anyway....

I dont plan on making a move
without the guidance and care
of my HP and the ESH from my
recovery program and friends....

I need you more so now as I
continue on the road in a new
chapter of my life....

Thanks for letting me share and I
look forward to ur company on this
new experience.

[51anna]

Sharon, of course you're anxious when you're ending a 25 year marriage. Even though, you are happy and comfortable with your choice, there is bound to be some concerns in the back of your mind. It will mean you're on your own and that is both scary and a blessing.

Follow your heart Sharon and you'll be fine.

[RK2007]

Sharon, I hope you're ok.

You sound strong, so I think you'll make it ok.

Wishing you all the best.

[Astro]

Heavy stuff Sharon, I know it's weighing on you and I'm praying for you and wish you only the best.

What helped me during my divorce.........

As many AA meetings as possible, prayer and meditation, time spent with friends in the program, reaching out and letting them love me when I felt so down and blue.

(((hugs)))

[Rusty Zipper]

AAS, you'll be just, well i aint gunna use that word... i will just say ok!

you have one of the biggest tool belts i have seen on SR... and theres some good belts here...

me, i did the divorce bit when i was active...

stil a bit clouded on that scene! lol

lost a future intended do to this disease, and because of my tool belt... i'm here write'n you...

shure, it can make anyone a tad antsy...

its spozed too!

put on a little zydeco music, and dance the ants away!

love'n ya AAS. and the big root'n out to you!

more freedom for AAS!!!

rz

[aasharon90]

Thanks guys.....You being here with me means
a whole lot.

You know, im ok with the divorce...why...well
maybe its because i wasnt very happy the
entire time i was married....

Im pretty sure i got married for all the
wrong reasons to begin with. One was
to not have to work anymore just
because i could stay at home and
drink and sleep....then it was to have
my little family....

All those wishes came true as I know
today to not wish for things because
they do come true.

Any way I did have a hangover the
day of my marriage....so i was already
in the early stages of my alcoholism....of
course i didnt know that at the time.....

Then got sober thru family intervention
8 yrs into the marriage....

So some drunk yrs and some sober
yrs....

I changed during recovery...emotionally,
physically, mentally.....all for the better.

I wasnt the same women my husband
married ...meaning,,,,i changed my views
and thoughts and behaviors and more.

Anyway....all my life i did for others....
my sick mom....my husband....family....

Now its time to do for me......

And all I want today is simplicity...
no stress.....

My kids r grown...one married and
both still in school....Very mature,
independant....

Mom, me, Im on my own...wanting a divorce...
divorcing away from the family....

Happy Joyous and Free

[Cindi R]

Are you sure?
Have you tried counseling?
I know that I divorced mine after 25 years...and still even 5 years later, I sometimes question my decision.
I miss his family the most. Especially around the holidays, Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Year's. The kid's special events that we should be there together for....graduations, ect...
At the time I felt that I had no choice...I got clean and he was still using.
But sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I'd been a little more forgiving and tried to encourage his recovery a bit differently instead of demanding it.
Only you know Sharon, if it's broken beyond repair...and it's time for a divorce.
But, there aren't a whole lot of great guys out there just waiting for you to be single again either...
I've dated a couple that just weren't right.
Oh, there are plenty of offers...but I've been there and done that a couple of times with an addict/alcoholic (one my ex, one in the program) and would be very careful about a relationship in the program.
I've seen a lot of them fail, ruining the fellowship for one of the parties.
No one can tell you what to do, only sharing E,S,&H.
{{{Hugs}}}

[aasharon90]

Im hitting my Thank You button to everyone but
i dont think mine is working.....So I will just have to
write it .... THANK YOU ALL....

My marriage was lopsided....it was unbalanced
mainly because i grew in recovery....changed....

Where my husband and kids saw no need to
get help for themselves....they werent
the sick one in the family....

I couldnt share my recovery with my
husband....and even tho he was supportive
of me...he wasnt interested in the
whole alcoholism bit.....and why should
he...he didnt have a problem with it....

Sure i changed and grew and left him
behind....he took care of himself and
i was left alone...all alone....

Sure we had good moments together
esp going out to eat....but we didnt have
much to talk about...

I moved to Houston into a house thinking
we could make it our home and it never did....

All i could think about was my AA family
back here in Baton Rouge....

Im not saying i was a saint ...not perfect
by no means.....but between my HP
and me.... He knew all that was going on
in my life...what i was feeling. thinking
and doing....

I felt for sure He heard my cries and when
He was ready to help me....then it happened...
and it did.....

My move wasnt because i wanted out of the
marriage....it was because of a new opportunity
to happen in my life....a new job....and it was
right here in Baton Rouge....

My husband didnt want to move back here
and he didnt want to live apart....which is
understandable.....and me ...i was glad
to leave Houston.....

Anyway,,,,,I havent done anything without
help and guidance from my HP and without
my recovery program and friends....

I need u guys because without u and my
own faith then i would be doomed.

Today im ok....cool....very grateful.....

And as far as meeting anyone new....
that too is in my HP's hands.....

It's amazing how today I NEVER have to
face or go thru anything by myself....
ever again....