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Old 01-13-2008, 03:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Cannot Stop Binge Drinking

Hello,

My problem with alcohol is that I cannot stop once I start. If I am out, I drink to get drunk and drink quite a bit. This usually happens every time I go out and I'm so very tired of it. I don't know how to control myself and I get so depressed about everything the next day. I want to stop binge drinking but I can't.

I do not drink every day and I do not ever get an urge to drink during the week. It's just when the weekends roll around and I'm set to go out. It's sad that I cannot control myself and have to quit drinking completely as I think this is the only way to stop. I don't know what else to do. If anyone else has a similar problem such as mine, I would really like to hear from you. Should I see a doctor or perhaps AA? Am I someone who would benefit from AA? Why can't I stop?

Last edited by Jamsil; 01-13-2008 at 03:42 AM.
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Old 01-13-2008, 03:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Jamsil,
Your drinking sounds a lot like mine. I put off going to AA for years but eventually the drinking had spread to almost every day of the week. I staggered to AA and have been there ever since...it's a good way of life. Try it and I think you'll agree. My life has improved immeasurably. It was the best thing I ever did. I hope you give it a shot - let us know.
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Old 01-13-2008, 03:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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jamsil, welcome to the SR family!

jam
Quote:
This usually happens every time I go out
dont go out!

jam
Quote:
Should I see a doctor or perhaps AA? Am I someone who would benefit from AA? Why can't I stop?
yes!
yes!
yes!, ya might be one of us, if one drink leads to never enough!

good wishes jamsil

rz
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Old 01-13-2008, 04:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome.

Losing control on the weekends is how most people start having problems with their drinking. At least that's what happened to me. After a while you start drinking one, and then two nights in the week and in the end every day. I'm not saying that's nessesarily going to happen to you, but that's a very common route.

You could try to stop for thirty days and see how that goes. If you have trouble doing that, or if you have already tried and failed, then you probably need some help. If you are already suffering because of your drinking, you have to ask yourself why you keep doing it.

You can get a lot of support and advice on this forum and there are many people here who got sober with the help of AA. You don't have to chose between AA and your doctor, I'm sure both can help you and give you a better idea of how to deal with your drinking problem.

Best wishes,
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Old 01-13-2008, 04:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome jamsil I'd definately check in with your doctor, glad you found us.
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Old 01-13-2008, 05:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome Jamsil to SR. I think most here will be familiar with your situation. I started off binge drinking at the weekends and eventually it became all the time. It seems unfair to see others enjoying a few drinks and being in control but when you yourself can't control it then it has to be total abstinance. Best wishes in the action you take.
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Old 01-13-2008, 05:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Depression is why I began AA.
By around 3 months of abstinance....
my depression had vanished.

I did not have clinical depression
but situational.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 01-13-2008, 05:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Jamsil
My drinking problems began with weekend binge drinking too. It took a long while but eventually I found myself drinking every day.
If you think you have a problem you have done the right thing to address it now. Alcoholism does progress and the longer you leave it the harder it becomes to deal with.
Welcome to the forum and good luck in finding the right path.

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Old 01-13-2008, 06:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome Jamsil, lots of good advice here.

I'm glad you found us.
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Old 01-13-2008, 06:35 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I have a similar problem to yours its called terminal uniqueness. My problem with alcohol is that Iím an alcoholic. I have an allergy that when ever I put alcohol into my system it triggers a allergy that craves more of the same. I just canít have a little alcohol, alcohol in any amount sets this terrible cycle in motion. Step over to the nearest bar room and say your going to just have one. Try it more than once!!!!

I used to think alcoholics were dirty people who lived in alleys and dumpsterís people who walked around with bottles and paper bags not any more. I am truly sorry this is happening to you and I wish you luck in the search for a solution. My search took me to AA and today I no longer have to binge drink or drink period, donít want or need to.
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome. It sounds like my problem. I would be fine for 5 days then when the weekends come I would drink until monday. I would feel like crap for a couple days then feel fine and do the cycle again. The cycle went on for years (I am 27) I have found out that it isn't alright. At first I thought hey it's normal I work hard I should party hard, then I told myself that it isn't alright. I won't be the man that will be remembered as great if I am boozing all the time. I can't offer much advice as this is week 7 of my sobriety but if your are serious I would take every step nessessary. Don't let anyone tell you that it's no big deal because if you think it is serious than it is.
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Once I started, I couldn't stop.... this was what happened to me also. If I was out, and had 3-4 drinks and then people wanted to leave and stop drinking I would physically feel sick. I COULD NOT stop once I started. Too bad I started every day, and drank until I fell asleep. Not being able to stop is a hallmark symptom of an alcoholic, and you will find plenty of people in AA who didn't drink every day, but once they started drinking it was off to the races.

AA really was not what I thought it was going to be. I was expecting bums and losers, and it stopped me from going to the rooms for a long time. My perception couldn't have been further from the truth. People in the rooms have something I have wanted for sooo damn long, and they go out of their way to help me get it, for free. When I say thank you for the help, they say "no, thank you for the help".

There was a guy who was at a meeting a few nights back and he said he told someone he was in AA, and the guy replied "Why are you in AA? You don't even drink..."
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Old 01-13-2008, 11:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Should I see a doctor or perhaps AA? Am I someone who would benefit from AA? Why can't I stop?
A good medical checkup couldn't hurt, and be honest with the doc about your binging. Anyone who is having a problem with alcohol would benefit from AA...it certainly can't hurt. You can't stop because once you ingest the alcohol you set up the physical need for the drug. You are a "periodic", as opposed to a "daily"...which will probably happen eventually, if you don't quit drinking.

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There was a guy who was at a meeting a few nights back and he said he told someone he was in AA, and the guy replied "Why are you in AA? You don't even drink..."
That's funny!!!
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Old 01-13-2008, 11:32 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi Jamsil; My drinking started the same as yours. I started drinking when I went out, and once I started, I didn't stop. For a long time it was that way, I'd only drink when I went out. Then I started drinking before I went out, and after I got home, drinking all night. Then, as the years passed, I got older and had more responsibilities and didn't go out as often, so instead I started drinking at home. Again only on weekends, but soon that too changed into weekdays. And again...the years went on and my drinking got worse and worse. I am 37 and been drinking for 20 years. I have blacked out since I started drinking. I've hit so many bottoms I've lost count. And here I am, on day 2 of my latest attempt at sobriety. Because I don't drink every day I always think next time I will be able to control myself. But the truth is, if I plan on having one, I have a hundred. If there is booze in the house, I drink till I'm toast. Nothing and no-one can make me stop once I start.
My drinking patterns changed over the years, chances are, yours will too. Hopefully you can make a change now, before you too spend 20 years proving to yourself you can't stop.
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Old 01-13-2008, 11:51 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Sounds just like me. Just stop completely while it's still a choice. The truth is that you are creating a routine dependence on alcohol by drinking every time you go out to have fun... It will continue to get worse and worse ff you don't stop now! (it was getting there for me).

Get yourself off the poison completely and you will soon be able to go out and have fun on the weekends without the aid of it. With time it will eventually come to the point where you don't desire or even think about drinking. You will be a happier person and it will be REAL. Not a lie, Not some synthetic thing that lasts for a night and you feel miserable the next day/few days. Binge drinking would affect me for multiple days after and not just that but who I am as a person. the ability to wake up and feel fresh and healthy and looking forward to the day without anxiety is priceless.

Stopping completely because you cannot control your binge drinking is NOT "SAD" (as you say). It's without a doubt the wisest thing you can possibly do.
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Old 01-13-2008, 12:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Total abstinence is indeed the answer...my question to those who have recommended it: How were you able to do it? I'm sure Jamsil would appreciate any suggestions.
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Old 01-13-2008, 01:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Total abstinence is indeed the answer...my question to those who have recommended it: How were you able to do it? I'm sure Jamsil would appreciate any suggestions.
It isn't easy. Everyone here knows this.

For me, it is important to keep the future in mind. Is one night of drinking really worth it for misery the next, accompanied by another weak of anxiety until my next drink? Is it worth it to throw away my ability to learn and remember things? Do I really want to deplete my body of nutrients that keep me healthy and feeling good? Do I want to continue feeling symptoms of depression? And so on...

I went to a party last night and reminded myself of all those things when I needed to. I thought to myself, "well, just one or 2 won't hurt". But I know it doesn't work that way. 1 soon turns into 10. Then I reminded myself that drinking is fake and a lie and that I will never get better if I continue. I enjoyed myself and had a good time. I did not drink and undoubtedly had far more meaningful conversations than I normally would have. I was able to wake up today at 8am and go running. I feel excellent today. Was it worth it not to drink? F U C K YES. haha With all honesty, right after I first stopped drinking it was a lot harder to go out and have a good time. It got harder before it got better. That's beginning to change though the longer I go.

Wouldn't it be great to go through life making nothing but wise decisions? Now realistically I know that's not always possible. However, this is one case where you do have the power to assess your situation and make the correct choice.

Don't lose focus.
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Old 01-13-2008, 02:17 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Exclamation Hello Jamsil

I know exactly how u are feeling.
I too had a serious problem with that. The way you described your drinking is was the same thing for me. I'll tell u a quick story....
I was binge drinking one night with friends. I was betrayed and almost raped by someone I trusted. The friends that I was drinking with were no help. They actually put the blame on ME!! After that incident I totally cut off all ties with those so-called friends. I made new friends and have not had that problem again. Sometimes it's hard for us to see that the people around us or the crowd we hang out with really does have a big influence on us.


The first step is to express to your friends that u do not want to drink when u go out. If they are supportive, then they are true friends. If they are not, then they are not looking out for you and ARE NOT your friends.

You do have to stop drinking all together though.
The reason is because one drink always leads to another and then another. Cut it out because you can not tell yourself, "I'll just have one." I know this doesn't work cause I tried it too. Once you are out with friends and see them drinking and then it starts.



But don't get me wrong. Your friends probably differ from that twisted crowd I mentioned earlier in my story. I just want to make it a point that there are some crowds better than others in situations like this.

Best of luck to you!!

8
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:42 AM   #19 (permalink)
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What you have just described sounds like "sheer will power", or "won't power", depending on your point of view. Please let us all know how this works out.
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Old 01-15-2008, 06:20 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. I know I'm not alone and it comforts me.
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