The obliqatory "bad place" thread

[chicago]

Well, I am once again in a bad place. Ever since I have gotten involved in a relationship two months ago, I have been in and out of a bad place. The logical thing to do, obviously, is end this relationship. But me being alcoholic, am powerless over her. My life has become insanely unmanageable again in every sense. My life is exactly as it used to be when I was drinking. I am not spiritually fit for this relationship. Please Lord, take this pain away from me because I can't bare it anymore. Relieve me of this obsession. Please take away my difficulities. On the 29th I'll have 2 years, yet my behavior is just as it was when I came in. All the progress I have made in sobriety -GONE. Even without picking up a drink, I feel just as I used to inside. Finance and romance, a recipe for disaster. Yikes.

[1963comet]

Sorry, I pray that this will pass for you. Been through some ruff times myself. I am glad today that I don't pick up when life is Messed Up. I have found that the pain does not last as long.

I to still have some personal flaws that I wish I did not have. But all I can do is pray for the change in myself.

[daisygirl1217]

Wow 2 yrs free of that ****! good for you...stop knocking yourself for this relationship...man oh man can that be a killer....obviously its not just the drinking that you have to recover from but its also trying to recover from attracting those that are not good for us...how do you do that, by staying away from those who bring conflict in your life instead of complimenting them.....

But after I read your note I was so happy to hear your still clean even with the problems of this lady.....You do have control, you just are giving it to her.....stop and think about it......Dont look at this as a bad mistake either, we must live and learn...Understand who we are and why we do the things we do.......My email is open any time you want to talk...hang in there......

[gypsy tears]

You are still sober .

If the relationship isn't working out, might be wise to end it. You'll need to decide that.

If it's yourself that needs work... get working on you.

Simple right ?

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Please remember that nothing and NOBODY is worth you giving up on your sobriety! I hope that you will find the strength to do the next right thing.

I've learned, the hard way, that the best kind of love doesn't cause stress...it takes it away.

Karen

[51anna]

Chicago,

You are not the same as you were two years ago.

You know have two years of recovery.

The thing is, sometimes it's slow going and sometimes alcohol isn't the only problem. It wasn't the only problem with me either. Stopping drinking was only the beginning of the journey. You seem to think you're not ready for this relationship, so do what you need to do. Keep on the road to recovery and you'll be fine.

[Rowan]

All signals seem to be telling you to end this relationship - maybe the time isn't right just now. I've been in relationships when I was too new, too raw, to know how to discern the right balance between the relationship and my recovery. I lost my sobriety twice by staying in relationships when all signals told me to GO.
What does your HP say? Don't give up your two years of hard work - you deserve recovery. Hang in there and let us know what you decide.

[Reubena]

No advice for you, Chicago, but I am sending some positive thoughts your way. I hope that happier times are just around the corner for you.

[barb dwyer]

C'mon, Chicago!!!!

Work the steps, buddy - one, two, three ...

you're still sober ... you're still here (sorta, meaning I haven't SEEN you in a while)

you can do this.

pray, hon.

[chicago]

my program hasnt really been slipping but my sanity was starting to a little. im still hitting up 5-6 meetings a week and talking to my sponser regularly. my sponsee has 52 days today and he calls me every day. ive been praying...

i was feeling real crappy today though. i used the tools, called my sponser and another close program friend, and had a lot of dialogue with them. my sponser made me turn everything off in my room and pray for an hour!!!! i definitely feel a lot better. this too shall pass is very true, ive experienced it time and time again. BUT i need to be honest when i feel like crap and ask for help...or else maybe it wont pass! so thanks for listening. i am no longer "in a bad place."

[CarolD]

You did the next right actions for sure!

[dave47]

Congrats on nearly two years sober Chicago, and for working your way through these hard times. It can only be a good thing to share, best wishes.

[Tazman53]

Chicago you are still sober and still working your program, this is all good!!!!

Keep in mind it says in chapter 5:

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Alcoholism is not just a drinking problem, perhaps you should talk with your sponsor a bit more, maybe work a bit more on step 3, if your HP is telling you this relationship is messing you up it is time to drop to your knees, and pray for the strength to follow his will, will it be easy breaking it off with her? Heck NO!!!! In recovery as I am sure you already know there are parts of it that are not easy to do, but once done set us free.

As a old timer in my area says "Never let anyone live in your head rent free!" It sounds as though in order for you to be free an eviction no matter how hard may be in order.