For those w/Less than 2 wks Sobriety Only Please.

[Mr. Patch]

Welcome Breaking Free: I hope you find SR as helpful as I have. It has been a godsend for me and my family.

Well, day 4 for me today... And it was not so bad. Spent the day at home with my wife and children.

My wife has taken all of the credit/debit cards and put little small permanent ink messages on the back... They are reminders that we will not be intimate while I am drinking... (Good motivation!) We are trying to come up with ways that will help me, help myself while she is at work. She has left a sticker with her name on it in the car, and says she will be doing the same in the minivan. She wants to try to help me "think before I drink"... (or else, I think)

C2: My sponsor flaked on me and didn't return calls when I tried to call for help. I am going to get a new one tomorrow... I am glad that you didn't give up... Gives me some inspiration!

Good luck to all the graduates... I'll be there in 10 days! I am looking forward to it.

Thanks for helping me reach day 5!

[scaredykat]

The end of another sober day. Wasn't to great of a day but I'm still sober. Hopefully I sleep better tonight. The first 2 days were hard, but i knew it would happen like before. I drink lots of water detoxing. It helps a lot. Do any of you guys drink a lot of water? If your in your first week it helps a lot. I like the flavored water because it tastes good instead of just drinking plain old water.

I still have to call my sponsor yet. She doesn't know that I relapsed. I'm kind of scared to tell her. I still feel like i let a lot of my AA friends down. Myself especially.

Barb

[Negative Man]

Congratulations to Mr. Patch, vashti, C2, ROFL, Breaking Free, and Scaredykat. Another day down. Good work, and keep it up.

Mr. Patch: looks like you and your wife have some good systems going. I love the sticker on the car!

[trakin]

Barb, I just want to say hi! I think you're really brave to be able to admit that you had a relapse and to post in the two-weeks-and-under thread. I think your experiences and knowledge will help a lot of people in here. I had a relapse after only a few days, but now have made it for 27 days. I try not to get too happy or complacent about that because I know relapse is always possible no matter how far you get.

Thank you very much for sharing. I look forward to seeing you in the 2 weeks plus thread soon!

[vashti45]

Barb--I agree. I admire your courage. Welcome to mutual Day 4.

Mr. Patch: your wife's support is inspirational. I hope that everything works out.

Beware--long vent and introduction follows:

My DH suffers from depression (as do I, but that's another story), and is not able to support me in my recovery or otherwise, although he tries in some ways. He has been unemployed since August, and while I've always made more money than he, we didn't buy this house with the idea that we'd be living only on my income. So the financial strains are great, which has definitely exacerbated my drinking and worn down my resolve to stay under control. Not that I'm blaming him for the drinking, I know I own that problem. But I do wish that he were able to support me (emotionally and financially), get treatment and get better. Luckily he's not an alcoholic. And I know that underneath the depression, he really loves me and the kids.

On the other hand, I haven't been great support for him at all, since I've been coping with the stress and exhaustion by drinking too much.

Anyway, yesterday was a hard day because we were all home together, me, DH and the three kids. And he wouldn't go skiing, just wanted to hang out and watch tv. That is a real trigger for me. I need to get out, get exercise and do something stimulating. I've been trying (with some success) to do that anyway by leaving the kids with him and going out by myself. But yesterday was my Day 3, and I couldn't seem to drag myself out the door.

Sitting at home and watching Lady and the Tramp II for the nineteenth time with my five-year-old was very tough for me without drinking. I tried to focus on how bad my drinking is for her and I made it through the movie. So yesterday was a minor victory in that way.

Oh well, that's enough for now. Good luck everyone today--

Vashti (Jana)

[theonlyway]

(sorry for the negativity and venting) Hi... Well, I'm a mess. It's Day 2... of MANY, MANY Day #2's. I hate this. I hate This day that I've lived so many times. I hate each moment that brings a new memory (of my behavior Sunday night) or a new discovery (the side view mirror I just looked out the front window and noticed was smashed on my vehicle). I hate that I can't have the "just a few" drinks that I crave. I hate that AL-ANON is not enough! I hate what I'm doing to my life, my friends, my kids, my family, mself.

I'm sorry. I want the elusive "normal" to be me. I'm mad and scared and embarassed and so many things... I'm lost. But it's a new day and I'm trying to get through it.

[scaredykat]

Hi guys, I'm running late coming on here. Day 4 for me. I had to take a nap before going to my meeting later tonight. It's one of my favorite meetings in my area with lots of sobriety there. I'm definitely the baby of the group but i have to remind myself that its OK and that I'm with them instead of drinking all by myself. That's where my drinking always takes me. Staying home, isolating, never wanting to go out with my husband to dinner even, and always drinking alone.

Welcome theonlyway. We're glad your here. Keep reading and posting on here and hang in there. I notice you talk about Al-anon. Have you tried AA?

vashti- Have you tried meetings? Or reading self help books. There's also other kinds of recovery programs not with AA that's listed on this site.

Trakin- Congrats on your 27 days. It is OK to be happy for yourself. That's what my friends have taught me. Just stay in the day and don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow.

take care everyone
Barb

[theonlyway]

Thanks Barb. Haven't tried AA yet, but thinking of hitting it tonight with my dh. I don't know, I'm just so scared... And I know enough about the steps and programs to not be, but I am.
Hopefully will be there tonight.

[scaredykat]

I know the feeling of being scared. But once your there you start to relax once it starts. At least it does for me. I'm actually a little nervous myself for my meeting tonight. They haven't seen me since Christmas day. But i know they'll be happy to see me again. I also drink decaf coffee. That helps when your nervous too because reg coffee will just make you more jittery anyway. I hope you get to your meeting.

Well gotta go make dinner.
Barb

[vashti45]

Barb--

I haven't been to a meeting yet, although I've tried. The first time I tried to go, the meeting had been moved to another location and I didn't know where to go. When I found out where it had been moved to, I went the next week, but got there late--about 10 minutes late, and the door was locked. I have a tough time finding a time when I don't have to work or take care of the kids. But I know that AA has been critical to so many recoveries, and I want to see for myself and be open to it.

I'm also planning on checking out some of the books that have been mentioned on this thread and some of the others. And I'm working on consistency with my yoga practice, exercise outdoors (absolutely essential for me), meditation, healthy eating, following my doctors' recommendations to the letter and being in the moment with my kids. Add the gallons of herbal tea I'm now drinking, and it's quite a list!

Thanks for your suggestions and support. I'm happy to be at the end of Day 4.

[Mr. Patch]

Well, here I am to celebrate day 5... (again)

Vashti: I am an alcoholic with 30 years practicing. I also suffer from depression as does my wife. When I went to inpatient treatment last fall, we discovered that part of my treatment plan needed to include a mental health component. This has been very beneficial, as the provider that I am seeing is also providing a counseling component for my wife. This has allowed us to go to "marriage counseling" as well as open her eyes that she needed medication because... she needed to:

Maybe this might work for your situation as well. My wife didn't want to go for "her" but, was willing to go for "us"... Together we are working on "our" recovery, because our entire family is sick with alcoholism.

Keep up the good work... Everyone here is rooting for you.

Thanks to everyone for helping me reach day 6! (again)...

[Negative Man]

Mr. Patch. Congrats on day 5 and 6. I'm proud of you.

[scaredykat]

Congrats on Day 5 Mr. Patch. I right behind you. I'll be Day 5 in the morning.

Barb

[tennis71]

Good for all of you on days 5 / 6 etc. I want to keep pace but hope to never pass any of you

[timetogiveitup]

Well done Patch, Kat & Dennis.

Keep up the good work

[scaredykat]

Today is day 5 for me.

Where are the rest of the newbies?

Barb

[Omega Man]

Welcome to all the new people.

I've been reading thru all your posts and happy to see you all hanging in there.

For those of you still on fence about attending an AA meeting - just go!
I'm not a die-hard AA person and I'm still undecided if it's for me in the long run but I will offer this.
Attending my first meeting was hard but it also lifted a huge weight. Just being in a room with people who understood exactly what I was struggling with was a tremendous help during my first 2 wks. Seeing people who are leading sober and productive lives, that it can be done and it can be fun gives you hope - that there is a light at the end of tunnel and it's worth what your going thru right now.

SR is great, but the face-to-face interactions at a meeting are awesome. Just sitting there and listening is beneficial. You may decide that it's not for you but give it a shot - you've got nothing to lose and we all need extra help early in sobriety. Try a few different meetings, (times,locations) - their all a little different.

Making it 2 wks is pretty simple - just stay sober today, no matter what happens.
Just remember that your here, with all of us in the same boat.

[SF69]

This is the end of day 4 for me. I've been doing well. No cravings or anything, but my situation seems to be different than many. I've never really been an everyday drinker. Ususally a couple of days a week (3 or 4 during the real bad times). My problem is that once I have that first one, I've got to have at least 10 more. If anyone else has gone through a similar situation, any advice would be appreciate.

But anyway, I'll get back to you after day 10 or so to see if I can make it through those bored, lonely, etc. periods (that often trigger my binging) smoothly.

[Omega Man]

Originally Posted by SF69

I've never really been an everyday drinker. Ususally a couple of days a week (3 or 4 during the real bad times). My problem is that once I have that first one, I've got to have at least 10 more. If anyone else has gone through a similar situation, any advice would be appreciate.

Welcome SF69 (Tom).

Your not alone - my drinking pattern was pretty much the same, read the G. Burns tag line in signature and that sums it up. I'll send you a PM.

[C2H5OH_Free]

I'm going on 9 days at midnight, and I'm feeling good, I guess. I'm currently working step 4 and it's very eye-opening and sometimes hilarious and sometimes very sad. This is not the easiest thing I've ever done, but as I recount each incident and begin to see the bigger picture, it takes a little more weight off.

I also found additional support in a guy I knew through the pool league who I knew didn't drink. I was able to talk to him, and found out he got sober and stays sober through AA, and he hooked me up with a few books (12 and 12 being one of them) and some nifty worksheets for doing the steps. I'm so glad I had the balls to call him.

Hang in there everyone, just posting here is a huge step.

[vashti45]

C2 -- good for you. I think exercising courage is like exercising your muscles; the more you do it, the stronger you are.

I found some unexpected courage today. I had a difficult Day 5 (not over yet). My doctor is changing some of my anti-depressants and that's always difficult. I feel out of balance.

Anyway, I was at work late as usual, and no one around, but I couldn't go home until a program I was running finished. I had a pretty strong temptation to go to the firm's bar (yes, we're lawyers, we have plenty of alcohol around at all times). I tried what some of the others here have talked about to overcome temptation--I had a conversation with myself. My good self: "You don't really want a drink. You just want to feel better. Having that drink is only the illusion of feeling better." My bad self: "That's no illusion; that's immediate relief." Good self: "That's a ticket to feeling even worse in the morning. Besides, you don't want anyone on the 2 weeks and under thread to catch up!"

So Good self won, but it was close.

[selfwillrunriot]

Yes! I am in my first 24 hours, and personally this is a nightmare that keeps playing over and over. The most time I can muster up, right now, is about 24 hours. I want that to change - so effing bad. I want to wake up in the morning and NOT feel shaky and antsy, NOT see my hands tremble and cover my face with embarressment. But so far so good - one day at a time? One Hour at a time is definitely more like it. One MINUTE at a time is most accurate.

...and that is okay. I know for a fact (okay I'm not a genius, I just assume) that I am not the only one here who is taking this one minute at a time. If I can go the next hour without a drink, I have accomplished something. If ANY of us can go a f***ing MINUTE without a drink, we have accomplished something.

And hey, the more I sit in front of this screen, the more time goes by before the liquor store down the street closes... So keep 'em coming!!! Please freaking respond to this stuff!!!

[vashti45]

SelfWill--SWRR for short?

I know exactly what you mean. I had a rough rough time today with temptation. I'm only on Day 5. And I know from the more senior members' posts that these moments of temptation will continue.

I apologize if you've posted about this, but are getting help beyond SR? While I am relying heavily on SR, I'm also looking around for all other help and support I can find. My best friends, my therapist, my dogs (don't laugh, they totally get it). And I plan to add AA meetings as soon as I can. I wanted to join the virtual one today, but work interfered as usual.

We are all rooting for you. Could you get into an in-patient program? Do you have someone you can call to give you extra strength to resist?

I'm sending whatever strength I can through cyberspace straight to you.

Jana