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Old 11-12-2007, 09:08 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hawthorne, New Jersey
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Unhappy I see that sex drive loss is not uncommon!!

I've been clean and sober for over 1 year. I'm a 47yr old male and I even quit smoking . I'm an artist and NEVER had a problem with sexual arousal. Before I got sober,I met the most wonderful woman I could ask for. We've stayed together through the first year and have grown closer. Yet, I have almost no sex drive, very inconsistent. I used to be the aggressor and now I can't seem to initiate. Any thoughts?? I'm healthy and we both enjoy athletic activities>
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Old 11-12-2007, 09:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Jeez your 47! Maybe it is a complete coincidence? I turn 46 in a few days and I noticed a definite change in my sex drive around age 42. I don't think this is uncommon at all. Have you seen a Dr?
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
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Old 11-12-2007, 10:14 PM   #3 (permalink)

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Location: Big Bear City California
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Your lack of sex drive probably has nothing to do with you being sober. It could be many many things, diet, stress, ect. DGILLZ has it right, see a Dr. get some blood tests.
Today marks my 18th year sober..I am 52 and male..sex drive is ok but hey I'm over 50.
It is what it is
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Old 11-14-2007, 05:40 AM   #4 (permalink)

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I am a 43 yr old woman and having same problem - no sex drive, when I was using I did not have this problem and I noticed a couple times I relapsed and got drunk and then my sex drive came back so I dont know or maybe it is the meds my psychiatrist has me on - effexor and 2 mood stabilizers/.
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Old 11-14-2007, 10:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Serene In Dixie
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Well....my young friends

It's not necesarily tied into recovery/ addictions

My doctor assured me it was
"a normal part of ageing"
for both genders.

Drat!! She was correct.
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 11-14-2007, 11:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I guess the best way to phrase it...

My lust drive went away with maturity. My sex drive is still there but reformed.
To sit and just cuddle can be as much a turn on as a wild night would have been in the past. At 51 ..everything still works vs at 21 when it worked even if I didn't want it to *LOL*
Not a decrease in sex drive but a refocus of energies and desires is how I see it.
* I asked God to spare me pain.
God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

Recovery Related Acronym

B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?
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Old 11-14-2007, 02:16 PM   #7 (permalink)

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I know damn well my drive is way way down.I don't even think about it anymore, and that is not the way I usually am.Orgasms are few and far between.It's really bogus.
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Old 11-14-2007, 03:59 PM   #8 (permalink)

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Ive been wanting to post about this subject, bur wasnt sure if I should.

Has anyone been experiencing the opposite problem.

OK I have been off the wagon for years. No changes in la sex drive.
After about one year of smoking the nasty crack, sex went out the door along with everything else. Oh yea I am 47.

Anyway the last time I had any real clean time(107 days) still no sex drive.
relapsed and ran for awhile longer.

I have a litle clean time again and this time I am like a friggin dog in heat. I dont htink I felt like this in my best days. Or maybe my best days are yet to come(no pun intended) I dont know.

D I know how hard it will be for you to resist making a joke, but this is a serious question.

Even Jon is starting to look good. YIKES.

I dont want to promiscuity to take the place of the drugs.
I know there is no clearcut answer, but it is safe to say the answer wont be found in using.
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Old 11-14-2007, 04:04 PM   #9 (permalink)
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D I know how hard it will be for you to resist making a joke, but this is a serious question.

No jokes here B...I know context
just wait for the PM...

maybe it's just a side effect of getting clean and healthy Beth ?

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Old 11-14-2007, 10:13 PM   #10 (permalink)

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Im anxiously awaiting your PM, but in the meantiime wheres michael?
I know there is no clearcut answer, but it is safe to say the answer wont be found in using.
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Old 11-14-2007, 10:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
same planet...different world
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Sometimes when we stop drinking - the disease morphs itself into smoking something or the other. If that doesn't work (or we quit that) then it becomes a bit of an overeating thing, if we don't let it do THAT - maybe some gambling. Some shoplifting....
... or some gratituitous sex.

It's still the same disease ... just wearing different clothes.
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
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Old 11-14-2007, 10:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
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Thanks for posting this....
I would agree with others who have mentioned that aging is probably a factor here.
My sex drive is all over the map because I have a hormonal imbalance due to a rather strange ailment that cuts off hormones streaming from my pituitary gland. In layman's terms, it is called: drippy brain sack syndrome. Totally unrelated to alcohol abuse.

This brings me to a point I have wanted to make for a while here on SR: sometimes we actually do have other health issues not related to our abuse!

Make your doctor your friend....do not diagnose yourself! Although the addiction/alcohol abuse affects our health....our bodies can obviously be affected by a myriad of other illnesses not related to the abuse.

Both of my older bro's have prostate cancer, they are both chronic alcoholics, but the prostate cancer has nothing to do with that.....

I have often been quick to self-diagnose every problem as alcohol-related, but it has not been the case.
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