introduction & my story - Page 5 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

scaredykat · 11-12-2007, 09:26 PM

Just one day at a time Aldo. I can't think i will never drink again the rest of my life. I only have today. Tomorrow isn't here yet. It's easier to just stay in the moment.

You think 10 cigarettes is a lot I smoke 25 a day. But that's OK. At least I'm sober and living again and getting out with people in the world. I do plan on quitting smoking. Just not yet. I want more sobriety under my belt first.

Barb

calfritch · 11-13-2007, 01:58 PM

hey aldo - welcome back!! i have been away for a bit too. i played in a hockey tournament in las vegas. but i am proud to say that i didnt touch a drink although i did gamble. like you i used to be a compulsive gambler and when i would lose i lost big! but i did good this time. played the slots for awhile to pass the time and in the end did lose money but not a terrible amount. and i am also back in LA looking for work and living on handouts from family. so you and i are in similar situations. today is day 41 for me and still going good. keep up the good work buddy!!

aldo1980 · 11-13-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calfritch

i am proud to say that i didnt touch a drink although i did gamble. like you i used to be a compulsive gambler and when i would lose i lost big! but i did good this time. played the slots for awhile to pass the time and in the end did lose money but not a terrible amount.

hi cal!
just a curiosaty, as you're a compulsive gambeller like me i was just wondering if while you were in vegas playing the slots did you feel as if you couldn't walk away from them? did you think like "i'll just put in another $10 because it must pay now".
that's how it was for me the other day, and i hadn't gambelled in years. in fact i think that if i really didn't have to catch the plane home i'd probably have stayed playing that machine all day.
i guess us compulsive gambellers will never be able to gambel again.

i'd better find something to do with my life: no drinking; no gamballing; no drugs. it's kinda boring

calfritch · 11-13-2007, 02:51 PM

yeah thats exactly how i felt. i would have like 50 dollars in the machine and I know I should cash out but i would keep thinking it should hit anytime and i would always say 'ok, ill let it get down to 40....then 30....'. it was definitely hard to walk away so yeah I realized i should probably never gamble either. i think we just have addictive personalities and take whatever we do to extremes.

i also need to find something to do. it is boring without all the vices we had for all these years! ive been on some job interviews and am just waiting to hear. sometimes i feel like moving to another country and starting over fresh....wishful thinking i guess!!!

jrock · 11-13-2007, 04:22 PM

What worked for me was getting a sponsor who was clear about being alcoholic, and knew that there was a solution through the steps. Relying on remembering things is not a treatment to what I have, as I never could think my way out of not drinking, because that is the problem itself. I was trying to fix the problem with the problem. It is all about the action for me, and continues to be.

aldo1980 · 11-14-2007, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calfritch

sometimes i feel like moving to another country and starting over fresh....wishful thinking i guess!!!

That's exactly what I'm looking into. I don't like it anymore here where I live. I don't like the weather. I don't like people. The people don't like me. I've ran out of friends. I'm unable to find a job here. I just want to go away. It's just that I don't know where to go. I think you can't just say "i'll go to the US" or "i'll go to australia" or wherever unless you have a connection their who will be able to accomodate you for a while and/or help you find a job. it's a bit of a problem really, but i'm happy to know i'm not the only one with these problems.

calfritch · 11-14-2007, 09:51 AM

i have said those exact things. australia would be nice!!! and you're right, if you dont have the connections it is almost impossible unless you have a lot of money (which i dont) or want to be homeless off the bat!! the industry i work in is having a rough time and a lot of people are losing their job so i am not alone. so i spend a lot of time at home.

aldo1980 · 11-16-2007, 10:23 AM

Hi Friends!
Day 53 today, or their abouts anyway. I often loose count of what Day I'm on.
I went to see the doc the other day about my finger which I'd broken 53 days ago as it's still numb. He gave me some Viatmin B12 injections.
I'm vaugly remember that us alcoholics put a high demand on the Vitamine B12. Plus when we were active we probably didn't keep a good diet so no wonder we have vitamine deffciencies. I believe B12 is neccesary for nerves to heal and it's also essential to memory. No wonder my memory hasn't been to good in the past 6 months or so.
I bought a product in the pharmacy today. It's called Smoke Out. I don't know what it's retailed as in other countrys (I live in Italy remember). It cost about $30 USD and it's a mint flavoured spray you spray on your tounge every couple of hours, to stop you from smoking.
I was very skeptical about it. So I came home, spayed it in my mouth and lit a smoke. It really did work! My cigarette tastes so bad I was only able to take 3 drags before I had to put it out. It was disgusting!
The bad taste stays in your mouth for about 20 - 30 mins (It's now about an hour since I did that experiment, and I havn't tried to smoke since) during which you
really don't feel like smoking.
When I really put my mind to it I can stop smoking for 2 or 3 days at a time. Then I always say to myself "I'll have just one" and then it's done.
I was able to stop for about 7 years, but now it's about 2 years since I've started again.
As of tomorrow I'm really going to give it a try. I'll let you know how I get on.

calfritch · 11-16-2007, 12:02 PM

hey aldo - glad you're still going into 50+ days. i lose my count too. im in the mid 40s i beleive. i'll have to look into that smoking spray. i had managed to quit cold turkey a few months ago and it was going great but then i started having one only when i drank and that was working but after my last drinking binge i started full force again and am a about a pack a day. but i need to stop. i play ice hockey and it definitely makes it harder to play!!! hope your finger gets better!!

tanyapmc · 11-17-2007, 09:14 PM

Hi Aldo...

I have just read your thread and wanted to send you my support. I am glad that your are sober. How is the job hunt going?

aldo1980 · 11-18-2007, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanyapmc

Hi Aldo...

I have just read your thread and wanted to send you my support. I am glad that your are sober. How is the job hunt going?

Hi Tanya!
Thanks for your moral support!
The job hunting's not really going at all. I've ran out of people and establishments to ask, so I'm kinda looking into a job in another country.
I no longer like where I live anyway. Their's nothing left for me here anymore: no friends; no girl; no nice cars; no jobs. I just want to get away.

aldo1980 · 11-19-2007, 02:21 PM

Hi Friends!
56 Days or 2 Months for me today! It seems like just a few days ago that I was thanking you all for my first month! Once again I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for following me and keeping me motivated and focused. I wouldn't be able to do this without all the moral support and advice I've been getting on here. Thanks everybody!

My weekend went ok in the end. Friday started really bad. On Thursday night I was being kept awake untill 2.30 as my neighbours were f*****g and I can hear EVERYTHING though the walls. I was very anxious thursday night too and I was considering taking a benzo, but my friend Calfritch reminded me that I don't need to depend on medications to make me feel ok, so I threw the last benzo's I had down the toilet. I'd been keeping them "just in case" for the past few months but it's been a good couple of months since I last took any. (In fact, today I was estimating that in the past 3 or 4 years, while I was abusing benzo's, I must have consumed a good 15,000 pills. Not that I'm boasting about it)
On Friday morning I was awaken at 6.30am by my neighbours doing it again (I guess it's better being addicted to sex rather then to alcohol or drugs

Still it's not very nice living in a condo with pigs). It's really annoying. In fact I first started abusing benzo's because my neighbours sexual activaty was keeping me awake for 3 or 4 days and nights at a time. I then started drinking at home too just to make sure I'd get a good nights sleep.
So anyway, on friday mornin i got up and went out at 6.30 just for the desperation. I didn't get far though because my car refused to start.

Friday night I hung out with some friends and on Saturday night I went to a club. It was ok. I havn't been tempted at all to drink.
On Sunday I went out for a meal with some friends and everything went well.
I'm feeling well. Maybe a bit lazy, but I'm feeling ok. I'm taking Viatmine B12 for my finger which was still a bit numb after I broke it on my last inebriation two months ago. I'm sleeping well, but maybe even too much (10 to 12 hours a night) and I'm also eating allot (too much) now too. I can't stop smoking though, but other then this everything's going well. Still no job though.

calfritch · 11-19-2007, 03:23 PM

hey aldo - glad you are doing good!! i am with you on the smoking thing. i want to quit but i am thinking now is not the time and am also still looking for a job. starting to reconsider whether i want to be in the film industry so i am at those crossroads. i just feel bad that my faamily is basically supporting me because unemployment is giving me the run around. keep up the good work buddy

aldo1980 · 11-20-2007, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calfritch

hey aldo - glad you are doing good!! i am with you on the smoking thing. i want to quit but i am thinking now is not the time and am also still looking for a job. starting to reconsider whether i want to be in the film industry so i am at those crossroads. i just feel bad that my family is basically supporting me because unemployment is giving me the run around. keep up the good work buddy

Hi!
Likewise, I'm happy that you're doing well too!
The thing about quitting smoking is that for us it's very difficult now that we have all this free time with nothing to do. If we had a job, or something to keep our minds occupied, it would be much easier.
Good luck with the job hunting!

aldo1980 · 11-20-2007, 10:33 AM

I'd better find a gambling forum. I lost everything I had on me today to a one armed bandit

It's not much good substituting one addiction with another.

scaredykat · 11-20-2007, 01:45 PM

Hi Aldo, I'm glad your doing well. I'm also going to be 2 months. I'll be getting my 2 month chip on Sat. at my meeting.

Did you see there's a gambling forum here on SR?

Barb

11-12-2007, 09:26 PM	#101 (permalink)
scaredykat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, N.Y. Posts: 2,562	Just one day at a time Aldo. I can't think i will never drink again the rest of my life. I only have today. Tomorrow isn't here yet. It's easier to just stay in the moment. You think 10 cigarettes is a lot I smoke 25 a day. But that's OK. At least I'm sober and living again and getting out with people in the world. I do plan on quitting smoking. Just not yet. I want more sobriety under my belt first. Barb
	__________________ "Understanding is the first step to acceptance and only with acceptance can there be recovery." - Harry Potter 4 by JK Rowling Sober since: 1/19/08

11-13-2007, 04:22 PM	#105 (permalink)
jrock JRock Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 26	What worked for me was getting a sponsor who was clear about being alcoholic, and knew that there was a solution through the steps. Relying on remembering things is not a treatment to what I have, as I never could think my way out of not drinking, because that is the problem itself. I was trying to fix the problem with the problem. It is all about the action for me, and continues to be.
jrock JRock Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 26

11-16-2007, 10:23 AM	#108 (permalink)
aldo1980 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Italy Posts: 708	Hi Friends! Day 53 today, or their abouts anyway. I often loose count of what Day I'm on. I went to see the doc the other day about my finger which I'd broken 53 days ago as it's still numb. He gave me some Viatmin B12 injections. I'm vaugly remember that us alcoholics put a high demand on the Vitamine B12. Plus when we were active we probably didn't keep a good diet so no wonder we have vitamine deffciencies. I believe B12 is neccesary for nerves to heal and it's also essential to memory. No wonder my memory hasn't been to good in the past 6 months or so. I bought a product in the pharmacy today. It's called Smoke Out. I don't know what it's retailed as in other countrys (I live in Italy remember). It cost about $30 USD and it's a mint flavoured spray you spray on your tounge every couple of hours, to stop you from smoking. I was very skeptical about it. So I came home, spayed it in my mouth and lit a smoke. It really did work! My cigarette tastes so bad I was only able to take 3 drags before I had to put it out. It was disgusting! The bad taste stays in your mouth for about 20 - 30 mins (It's now about an hour since I did that experiment, and I havn't tried to smoke since) during which you really don't feel like smoking. When I really put my mind to it I can stop smoking for 2 or 3 days at a time. Then I always say to myself "I'll have just one" and then it's done. I was able to stop for about 7 years, but now it's about 2 years since I've started again. As of tomorrow I'm really going to give it a try. I'll let you know how I get on.
	__________________ sober since 2008-03-16 soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/133465-introduction-my-story.html

11-17-2007, 09:14 PM	#110 (permalink)
tanyapmc Charter Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Nunyabusinessville, Texas Posts: 2,813	Hi Aldo... I have just read your thread and wanted to send you my support. I am glad that your are sober. How is the job hunt going?
	__________________

11-19-2007, 02:21 PM	#112 (permalink)
aldo1980 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Italy Posts: 708	Hi Friends! 56 Days or 2 Months for me today! It seems like just a few days ago that I was thanking you all for my first month! Once again I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for following me and keeping me motivated and focused. I wouldn't be able to do this without all the moral support and advice I've been getting on here. Thanks everybody! My weekend went ok in the end. Friday started really bad. On Thursday night I was being kept awake untill 2.30 as my neighbours were f*****g and I can hear EVERYTHING though the walls. I was very anxious thursday night too and I was considering taking a benzo, but my friend Calfritch reminded me that I don't need to depend on medications to make me feel ok, so I threw the last benzo's I had down the toilet. I'd been keeping them "just in case" for the past few months but it's been a good couple of months since I last took any. (In fact, today I was estimating that in the past 3 or 4 years, while I was abusing benzo's, I must have consumed a good 15,000 pills. Not that I'm boasting about it) On Friday morning I was awaken at 6.30am by my neighbours doing it again (I guess it's better being addicted to sex rather then to alcohol or drugs Still it's not very nice living in a condo with pigs). It's really annoying. In fact I first started abusing benzo's because my neighbours sexual activaty was keeping me awake for 3 or 4 days and nights at a time. I then started drinking at home too just to make sure I'd get a good nights sleep. So anyway, on friday mornin i got up and went out at 6.30 just for the desperation. I didn't get far though because my car refused to start. Friday night I hung out with some friends and on Saturday night I went to a club. It was ok. I havn't been tempted at all to drink. On Sunday I went out for a meal with some friends and everything went well. I'm feeling well. Maybe a bit lazy, but I'm feeling ok. I'm taking Viatmine B12 for my finger which was still a bit numb after I broke it on my last inebriation two months ago. I'm sleeping well, but maybe even too much (10 to 12 hours a night) and I'm also eating allot (too much) now too. I can't stop smoking though, but other then this everything's going well. Still no job though.
	__________________ sober since 2008-03-16 soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/133465-introduction-my-story.html

11-13-2007, 01:58 PM	#102 (permalink)
calfritch Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: CA Posts: 302	hey aldo - welcome back!! i have been away for a bit too. i played in a hockey tournament in las vegas. but i am proud to say that i didnt touch a drink although i did gamble. like you i used to be a compulsive gambler and when i would lose i lost big! but i did good this time. played the slots for awhile to pass the time and in the end did lose money but not a terrible amount. and i am also back in LA looking for work and living on handouts from family. so you and i are in similar situations. today is day 41 for me and still going good. keep up the good work buddy!!

11-13-2007, 02:51 PM	#104 (permalink)
calfritch Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: CA Posts: 302	yeah thats exactly how i felt. i would have like 50 dollars in the machine and I know I should cash out but i would keep thinking it should hit anytime and i would always say 'ok, ill let it get down to 40....then 30....'. it was definitely hard to walk away so yeah I realized i should probably never gamble either. i think we just have addictive personalities and take whatever we do to extremes. i also need to find something to do. it is boring without all the vices we had for all these years! ive been on some job interviews and am just waiting to hear. sometimes i feel like moving to another country and starting over fresh....wishful thinking i guess!!!

11-14-2007, 09:51 AM	#107 (permalink)
calfritch Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: CA Posts: 302	i have said those exact things. australia would be nice!!! and you're right, if you dont have the connections it is almost impossible unless you have a lot of money (which i dont) or want to be homeless off the bat!! the industry i work in is having a rough time and a lot of people are losing their job so i am not alone. so i spend a lot of time at home.

11-16-2007, 12:02 PM	#109 (permalink)
calfritch Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: CA Posts: 302	hey aldo - glad you're still going into 50+ days. i lose my count too. im in the mid 40s i beleive. i'll have to look into that smoking spray. i had managed to quit cold turkey a few months ago and it was going great but then i started having one only when i drank and that was working but after my last drinking binge i started full force again and am a about a pack a day. but i need to stop. i play ice hockey and it definitely makes it harder to play!!! hope your finger gets better!!

11-19-2007, 03:23 PM	#113 (permalink)
calfritch Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: CA Posts: 302	hey aldo - glad you are doing good!! i am with you on the smoking thing. i want to quit but i am thinking now is not the time and am also still looking for a job. starting to reconsider whether i want to be in the film industry so i am at those crossroads. i just feel bad that my faamily is basically supporting me because unemployment is giving me the run around. keep up the good work buddy

11-20-2007, 10:33 AM	#115 (permalink)
aldo1980 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Italy Posts: 708	I'd better find a gambling forum. I lost everything I had on me today to a one armed bandit It's not much good substituting one addiction with another.
	__________________ sober since 2008-03-16 soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/133465-introduction-my-story.html

11-20-2007, 01:45 PM	#116 (permalink)
scaredykat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, N.Y. Posts: 2,562	Hi Aldo, I'm glad your doing well. I'm also going to be 2 months. I'll be getting my 2 month chip on Sat. at my meeting. Did you see there's a gambling forum here on SR? Barb
	__________________ "Understanding is the first step to acceptance and only with acceptance can there be recovery." - Harry Potter 4 by JK Rowling Sober since: 1/19/08