introduction & my story

[scaredykat]

I know how you feel too aldo. I'm shy myself. That's why I liked drinking in my earlier days. I was loosen up and was able to talk easier and had confidence in myself. I don't know if all alcoholics are like this, but I know I am.

now the way things are- I'm still shy, but AA is helping. I'm starting to talk to people more before the meetings and after. I need those people. If i drink again I'll be in my personal prison drinking alone by myself. I haven't been to bars in years. All my drinking the past 3 years was at home.

I agree with Anna. It will get better with time.

Barb

[calfritch]

hey aldo - i definitely noticed a change too. when i would drink at the bars i was very conversational with everyone and i notice now that, while i do still talk to people, i am a lot more reserved than i was. i think it is just part of the changing process, you are learning to interact with people in a different way. i'm glad to hear your date went well, going to go out more?? i have also been dating someone and for me it seems to work out well as she is very supportive in my recovery but she isn't sticking her nose in and trying to do the fixing herself. i also knew her before i quit drinking and from her perspective she saw no problem with my drinking, she never experienced me when i was at my worst, which is a good thing. but it sounds like you are doing well....keep it up i hope the rest of your weekend goes well!!!

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by 51anna

I'd rather be by myself at home or doing something alone.

Yea, Anna, that's just it! I'm not working at the moment (can't find a job) and I love staying at home just doing my own stuff: reading; music; playing guitar; movies. It's just I often worry about what my neighbours (their's all rich yuppie socialite punks) may think of me. They could think I'm an alcoholic hermit or something, so I go out for a couple of hours a day just to make my neighbours think I have a life. I don't have many friends to hang out with, so usually I just go out for a meal. But the thing is I really don't like eating out alone.
Do you think I should just do what I feel like doing regardeless of what others may or may not think of me?

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by calfritch

i'm glad to hear your date went well, going to go out more?? i have also been dating someone and for me it seems to work out well as she is very supportive in my recovery but she isn't sticking her nose in and trying to do the fixing herself. i also knew her before i quit drinking and from her perspective she saw no problem with my drinking, she never experienced me when i was at my worst, which is a good thing. but it sounds like you are doing well....keep it up i hope the rest of your weekend goes well!!!

Hi Cal!
Glass of coke?!
Yea my date last weekend went fine. I went out with her again on Tuesday. That went ok, but not as planned (I'd spent $8 on one rose and it didn't have the effect I was looking for ). I think she likes me. I would have liked to take her out for dinner tonight but she has to work, but it's my birthday next wendsday so maybe I'll be able to take her out then.
She's a very understanding girl. Her dad's an active alcoholic and she's teatotal by choice. I've known her for a few years but I never really talked to her untill a few months ago. But I was drinking then and I guess I wasn't a very attractive man like that.
If I remember correctly you havn't been on the wagon for too long either but nevertheless, like me, you've gone against the rules and you're dating too. I'm pleased to hear you're getting along well with your lady and I think it's very nice that she is supportive in regards to your problem. My best wishes to you!
Have a nice day.

[aldo1980]

I'm eating alcoholic chocolates (13%) today
That is ok isn't it? It's not like i'm going to get inebriated on them.

[calfritch]

i'm not too sure if thats cheating or not....i guess thats for you to decide!!

[Rowan]

Yikes. I was going to post something lighthearted about your reference to my scary avatar and sig, Aldo, but just saw your post about the booze-laced chocolates.
If you're seeking sobriety, alcohol is a no-no.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I'm with Rowan Aldo. In your early sobriety I would stay away from the alcohol dipped chocolates, especially in your current frame of mind (the other night at the bar you stated you felt like you were going to fall off the wagon).

Karen

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by Rowan

but just saw your post about the booze-laced chocolates.
If you're seeking sobriety, alcohol is a no-no.

but I'm not drinking alcohol. I just had a box of alcoholic chocolate - they were the only chocolates I had at home at the time.
Anyway, they're not my favriot chocolates and I wouldn't buy them for myself (I had got them for a friend) so maybe if I did cheat a little bit yesterday it won't happen again.
But I do take vinigar on my salads and sometimes I will eat food that's been cooked on alcohol.
I don't think it does me any harm. It's just when I actually drink the stuff that I can't stop.
Do you think I should eliminate alcohol completly from my diet?

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by merlotmamma

I'm with Rowan Aldo. In your early sobriety I would stay away from the alcohol dipped chocolates, especially in your current frame of mind (the other night at the bar you stated you felt like you were going to fall off the wagon).

Karen

I only ate them because I was craving the chocolate, not because they were alcoholic chocolates.
But I understand what you and Rowan are saying and I objectivly think that the best thing to do would be to stay away from alcohol completly.
Thanks for stearing me back onto the right road!
So should I change my sobrity date now?

[Rowan]

It's your decision, Aldo, but if it were me, I would change it.

What you may or may not know about alcoholism is that it's an allergy of the body, as well as a disease. Taking in any sort of alcohol could set off what's called 'the phenomenon of craving' and could lead you to drinking again.

There are different schools of thought about cooking with alcohol. Personally, I don't eat anything that's been prepared with it. Before sobering up, I used to love cheese fondue, and found out it had white wine kirsch in it. So I miss eating that a LOT, but don't want the alcohol. But, that's just me.

Others won't rinse with mouthwash that has alcohol in it. I do, but rinse thoroughly afterward and am careful not to swallow any.

Hope this helps some, Aldo.

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by Rowan

There are different schools of thought about cooking with alcohol. Personally, I don't eat anything that's been prepared with it. Before sobering up, I used to love cheese fondue, and found out it had white wine kirsch in it. So I miss eating that a LOT, but don't want the alcohol. But, that's just me.

Others won't rinse with mouthwash that has alcohol in it. I do, but rinse thoroughly afterward and am careful not to swallow any.

Thanks for sharing your point of view. I guess at the end of the day we're all free to decide what we want to do or what we don't want to do.
What some people decide to do may seem extreme and fanatical to others, but it's their choice and I will try to respect that.
As you know I did pass a period of 6 and half years on the wagon during which I did consume vinigar and foods cooked in alcohol. I don't believe I fell off the wagon because of that.
In my humble oppinion, as I understand it, their's a diffrence between drinking and eating. And during the past few weeks that I've been sober I've been really enjoying eating and discovering new foods. So I think I'll stick with the alcoholic foods (not the chocolates though) because having to give up drinking alcohol that i liked so much is tough but having to give up on food too would be extremly hard!

[nonameneeded]

i'm not proud, but i've done all of those thiogns, throwing things out windows etc. blow all my money, wreck my nice car, everything drunk.

so feel ya an di'm in the exact same boat.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Aldo, the "foods cooked with alcohol" decision is you own personal choice IMO. I was concerned about the chocolate because as far as I remember, those used to TASTE quite a bit like taking a shot of something. Like Rowen said, I wouldn't want you to get that craving going..I personally stay away from foods cooked with alcohol, but that's cause I was a heavy wine drinker, and I'm afraid the taste would leave me craving a big ole glass of wine. That's me.

You are doing great!

Big Hugs,

Karen

[calfritch]

hey aldo - yeah i think in the end it is personal decision about what you think you should or shouldn't do. last week, not even thinking i took some nyquil because i had a bad cold and couldn't sleep. i realized the next day that it does in fact have alcohol, but it didn't awaken any cravings or anything. i wont do it again but it didn't seem to affect my recovery. hope the rest of your weekend went well!!

[chicago]

Wow great post! I can hear the pain in you're writing. We, my friend, are the same age. I can indentify with alot of the things alcoholism has taken from you're life. I lost ALL those same things. In sobriety I have since gotten everything back 10 fold. But I HAD to follow the suggestions people in AA gave me.

1) Get a sponsor

2) Work steps

3) Make meetings

If you simply can't live life like you have been and are willing to go to any length to change it.....take these 3 suggestions. Sobriety is the most amazing journey I've ever been on.