introduction & my story

[aldo1980]

I've just recieved a letter from the gas people saying that if I don't pay my expiered bills (ammounting to about $700) within the next 6 days they'll cut off my supply.
I was quite miserable this morning but I'm feeling a bit better now. My grandfarther gave me a few $. Not enough to do anything with but at least it will do me for ciggys and something to eat for a couple of days.
I guess the thing about loosing my heating and hot water is one of them things that I need to be serene about as it's something I can not change, for now anyway.

[scaredykat]

Hi aldo, I'm glad your still here with us. Sorry for all the problems your going through, but it definitely won't help if you drink.

Reading your story I'm a lot like you with the shyness and drinking to help me be more talkative. That was in the beginning for me when I fell in love with booze. The end of my drinking took me to being alone on my couch drinking. Not going out side hardly ever. Take care.

Barb

[aldo1980]

Hi Barb, thanks for checking me out!
Yea, in the end I was drinking at home too. I'd go out and get really drunk then I'd bring a few bottels of wine home (believing it would make me sleep better!) and just sit in the kitchen most of night drinking. Which wasn't very nice.
It appears allot of shy people rely on booze to allow them to be more socialable. I suppose that's because alcohol makes you less inhibitive.
I hope you're doing ok. I'll see you around.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Hey Aldo,

I'm sorry for your financial worries..I know what that's like. but, that aside, you are doing great!

Can you call the gas company, state your position (unemployed etc) and see if they have any plans available for folks? Is there a shelter nearby? Often, and in my town, there is a shelter that supplies basic needs (bread,milk,cheese) to people who need it.

Karen

[aldo1980]

Hi Karen!
I suppose I could call the gas people. About a year ago I owed them $3000 and they allowed me to pay $500 every 2 weeks for 6 weeks. Maybe I'll call them on Monday.
A shelter!? I wish! There's nothing where I live. It's the end of the world over here!! lol
Thanks for your advice. Take care.

[nogard]

Welcome to SR and yes talking to everyone I owed money to and making an arrangement worked for me. Maybe see a financial counsellor as well.

Kevin

[dave47]

Hello aldo and welcome mate.Read your first post and many of us can share much of that(are you sure that was the short version?).See already theres been loads of good advice so good luck.

[aldo1980]

Hi friends!
Day 7 today. It's ok!
I couldn't get to sleep last night as my problem regarding the money I owe the gas people was spinning around my head.
I was thinking, for lack of other alternatives, maybe I could ask my mom if she could lend me the money I need to keep my heating and hot water, untill I find a job so I can pay her back.
I wouldn't want her to think I'm taking advantage of her. I don't know if she understands that alcoholism is an illness. I guess their's no harm in asking, right? At the worst she's only going to say no.
If my sister was ill I'm sure our parents would do anything to help get her better. And I'm sure that if I had a recognized illness they'd do the same for me. It just seems that when you've got alcoholism everybody abbandons you.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Well, can't hurt. The worst that she can say is no.

[aldo1980]

Hi friends!
Day 8 today and I'm rather happy I managed to get through the weekend ok, I was a bit worried that I would have falled off the wagon this weekend, but in the end it was a breeze.
On Friday I went out for something to eat (I have a broken finger so I can't cook at home as I'm unable to wash the dishes, I also live alone and have no real friends or family nearby who maybe could have helped me out) with my friend. That was fine. I didn't feel the need to drink at all. Then my friend took me to hang out with some of his friends but I became all anxious because I don't really know his friends. I was also very cold . Everybody else seemed to be ok about the cold. I was shacking. I don't know if it was because of the cold or the anxiety though.
On Saturday I went out for something to eat alone and then I caught up with my buddys, but everybody seemed to be drinking and I really felt weird not having a drink in my hand. I just hung around for 10mins without saying anything to anybody and then I went home, not because I wanted to drink but just because I felt I really didn't belong amongst them.
On Sunday I went out for a meal (I hope my finger gets better soon because it's expensive eating out every day) with two friends. That was ok.
I don't have any problems when I'm talking to people one-on-one, or even in small groups providing that I know them. But when I'm with large (more then 4 or 5 people) groups I get all anxious and self conscious.
Yesterday I made quite an obvious hint to my mom that I'm having difficulties paying my utility bills. She either didn't understand or didn't want to understand that I was asking for a loan.
My friend on here suggested I call the gas people and talk my situation over with them. I know that's a good idea, but I'm really shy so I'd prefer not to. I guess I'll just have to wait until I find a job before I can pay them and suffer the consequences in the meantime.
In fact I was just reading the letter from the gas people again. The first time I read it I didn't realize that it said they'll also be taking me to court.
And today's the first of the month ago, so I should really have to pay my rent within the next 10 days. But I guess I can put that off for a while. Usually my landlord doesn't call even if I'm 2 or 3 months late with it.
So that was my weekend!
Fortunately I don't crave alcohol when I'm on the wagon, so staying sober may be a little bit more easy for me then it is for others. It's just that if I were to drink I can't stop. It's a terrible illness.

[FindingClarity]

Aldo,

Where are you today, are you doing okay?

FC

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by FindingClarity

Aldo,

Where are you today, are you doing okay?

FC

Day 8 today and in regards to my alcoholism I'm doing fine. Other things aren't going too good (eg. like finding a job. And then even if I were to find a job I couldn't start immeadiatly due to my broken finger, and anyway I wouldn't see any money untill the end of the month). But I'm ok, thanks for asking.
Have a nice day.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Aldo,

where do you live? There has to be some kind of familysocial services office somewhere close to you. And please do call the gas company. I hate hate hate hate doing that too, so much to the point that I let my house into foreclosure, which could've been avoided if I just picked up the phone at the first letter delivery. I pulled it together however, but what a pain in the neck it was.

As for hanging around crowds drinking in early sobriety, I don't recommend it. I felt the same way that you do...

Worries bout money was one of my triggers to drink, so I hope that you do the next right thing (calling the gas company) and then deal with what happens.

big hugs,

Karen

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by merlotmamma

where do you live?

Hi Karen!
I don't live in the U.S. as you may have assumed. I only talk in US$ because they're a universal currency and everybody knows what US$ are exchanged at.
I live in Europe.

Hmm, I don't know about calling the gas people. I'll sleep on it tonight and then make a deccession in the morning.

Thanks for your concearn and advice, I really appriciate it.
Have a nice day.

[scaredykat]

Hi aldo. Keep hanging in there.

Barb

[aldo1980]

Hi Friends!
Day 10 for me today
Nothing significant to report on. Yesterday I was feeling so good I didn't even feel the need to post on here (nevertheless I did come on and read other peoples post and reply to some of them. I kind of feal that in a way others on here depend on me as I depend on them).
Today was the last day I had left to do something about my gas bill because they would have come to disconect it tomorrow.
I was actually expecting my mom to step in with a solution at the 11th hour, as yesterday she'd even asked me how much I owed the gas people. But she didn't.
Luckily a while ago I had lent some money to a friend (I say it was lucky because had I not of lent that money to a friend I probably would have drank it by now). I got $500 of it back today. So I made a partial payment to the gas people and sent them a fax to say I'd pay the outstanding $300 by the end of next week (I also should pay this months rent too. But my landlord's a nice lady and she often hasn't complained even when I've been 2 or 3 months late, so maybe I can postpone that untill I find a job). I hope that will keep them happy because I only just realized yesterday that not only will I have no heating or hot water if they were to disconect it, but I wouldn't be able to cook either.
A girl I kinda know wanted to go into the city with me today, but I wasn't feeling like it. I don't like being lonly but in a way I like being alone, if that makes sense.
Last week I put in 3 or 4 job applications on line. Not one of them have gotten back to me
I havn't been sleeping to good during the past 10 days. Some nights I sleep just 4 or 5 hours. Other nights I sleep even as much as 10, but I still don't feel refreshed in the morning when I wake up.
I've been eating so much too. I just can't stop! Lots of foods with allot of carbohydrates and sugars; chocolate; ice cream; Coca-Cola. I've never had such an appitite in my whole life!
Funny thing is, when I went off benzo's a few months ago I couldn't eat anything for weeks. In fact I lost about 20lbs/10kg. I since put that back on and if I continue eating like this I'll probably gain just as much again! I've gotta stop piging out.
My cigarette consumption has also increased during the past 10 days. Before I was on about 12 - 15 a day if I didn't drink (and about 30 to 50 if I did drink). Now I'm on about 20 - 25 a day, which really isn't good. I oughta do something about that.