introduction & my story

[hope45]

OK, I'll take your word for it that I and other people who haven't seen your village "don't understand" your transportation difficulties. But by your own admission, both your parents and grandfather are telling you the same things we are. They live there. They know your situation. But you claim they don't understand either. Hmmm. I think we all understand better than you think.

[aldo1980]

Originally Posted by hope45

Any woman with half a brain is going to run fast in the other direction.

Like this, as I am now, they're not even looking at me! Everybody knows what I am. No woman in a sane state of mind is even going to say hello to me! lol

Originally Posted by hope45

OK, I'll take your word for it that I and other people who haven't seen your village "don't understand" your transportation difficulties. But by your own admission, both your parents and grandfather are telling you the same things we are. They live there. They know your situation. But you claim they don't understand either. Hmmm. I think we all understand better than you think.

Although I disagree with you (I'm not looking for an argument) I honestly appriciate your thoughts and advice you have given me.

Originally Posted by warrens

What is up with your focus on your parents? I do not get it.

What I don't get is why are they willing to help my sister and they don't give a **** about me? They let her live at home; they provide food for her; they lend her money; they give her money for clothes and stuff; they let her work in their bussiness; buy her cars; and reccently she wanted to go and live in a city where she wanted to get a job and they lent her the money for her rent and stuff even though she hasn't a job either - and in my modest oppinion neither she doesn't seem to have much chances of getting the kind of job she's after. I don't know what i've done to them to **** them off so much.

Originally Posted by warrens

why is the world a better place because you are here?

Good question my friend. lol. I reckon my prescence in this world doesn't make it a better place for anybody (except the owners of the machines I play). The weird thing is God must have something in line for me because I should have died about 10 times by now (motorcycle accidents; car accidents; illnesses; overdoses; etc. ect.). I've been miraciously saved many times but I really don't know why.

I'd like to thank yous because yous have obviously been thinking about me and my situation.

[aldo1980]

i did something bad today: i "borrowed" €100 from my grandmother, without her knowing. the thing is i only wanted to "borrow" 10 or 20. just to get something to eat with. but she didn't have any small notes, so i took a big one.
if that wasn't bad enough i went to machines to see if i could win a profit of 10 or 20 so i could put her 100 back without her noticing. i lost it all in about 20 mins.
it wouldn't surprise me if she were to phone me at any moment now.
i intend to replace it when i win next time though.
how low i have fallen. shame on me

[aldo1980]

as soon as i clicked the "post reply" button my dad called!
my grandmother had noticed she was missing €100. it didn't take them long to put 2+2 together
needless to say they're extremly mad at me - rightly so.

[51anna]

Aldo, be still and listen to your heart and you will find the path that god has in mind for you.

So, you've been caught and your family is mad at you. Where do you go from here?

[warrens]

Aldo, I am speechless at your selfishness and narcissism. I simply lack the words to describe it. To steal from your grandmother. You know, it just dawned on me, Aldo. Most addicts suffer from guilt and shame. You don't seem to have any. To steal from your grandmother and the only thing that concerns you is that they may be "mad" at you. If you took $200 from anyone else, you would be looking at jail, signore. That's what happens in the adult world.

If my children would ever steal from me, it would absolutely break my heart. As it is, they will not take gift$ from me-it is too important to them to be on their own and seen as an adult. They have worked too hard to be something. It makes them feel like a child. Do you FEEL when you do these things, Aldo?

You speak English well, Aldo, but we really speak a different language when it comes to some things.

warren

[hope45]

Originally Posted by aldo1980

My mom doesn't even let me stay unattended on her premesis because she doesn't trust me. I don't steal. I never have done. But my mom thinks if i had the opportunity i'd put all her stock on ebay and run away with the proceades!
It's just really unfair.

But Aldo you just did steal. You didn't "borrow", you stole. Until you can be honest with yourself about what your addiction is doing to you and to those around you, your recovery is going to be one hard road. I wish you the best.

[tellus]

Originally Posted by aldo1980

only because they're the only people who can help me.

Bullsh*t. YOU are the only person who can help you, Aldo. And even you're not going to be able to help yourself if you keep acting the way you are.

Do you want to change?

[scaredykat]

Aldo, i don't even know what to say to you. I wish you well and will pray for you.

Only YOU can help yourself.

Barb

[aldo1980]

i'm checking out for a while. the cultural diffrences we have here are too vast.

[ImJulie]

Aldo: I hope you dont let your disease do your thinking and acting for you.
Your instinct will be to RUN...get away from these people who are telling you things you dont want to hear. Usually, the things that are hardest to hear are the ones we should be listening to.
Yup...its HARD...but suck it up...be a man and admit you dont have the answers and you arent going to find them on your own.

A better life awaits you my friend.

[warrens]

Aldo

Cultural differences, my butt! Is stealing from one's grandmother somehow a rite of passage in Italy? I think not.

The difference here Aldo, is that people here are trying to recover. Some make it and some don't. But everyone is looking for solutions, for a different approach to life. A way to overcome the obstacles in their way.

All you focus on is the obstacles and people realize that there is no discussion taking place here. All you talk about is how you cannot change anything, no matter what. What is there to discuss, Aldo? Obviously not working works for you. Otherwise you would look for a job. Obvioulsy taking handouts works for you. Stealing from family.

What doesn't work for you, Aldo is facing any kind of change. That is more than you can bear. So, what is there to discuss? Soccer, maybe? Not recovery, that's for sure. Everyone here in recovery faces enormous, life altering changes. No one here questions that what we have been doing has not worked.

I like you a lot, Aldo. I'm honest with the people I like. We are not dealing with cultural differences here, Aldo. We are dealing with courage. The courage to change.

I would love to own a Porsche just once in my life. I would love to see Italy just once in my life. I could do both if I were to be irresponsible and think of myself only. With sobriety must come responsibility, however. Doing what is difficult but the right thing to do. Doing for others.

Also, do yourself a favor. Do not steal from an old woman and blame it on addiction. Addiction results in wrong behavior, but it doesn't make it right. It will only make you feel worse and worse because you know it is wrong. The worse you feel the more addiction will have power over you. That is not cultural, it is truth.

warren

[ImJulie]

SWITCHFOOT LYRICS

"Dare You To Move"

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

[hope45]

Originally Posted by aldo1980

i'm checking out for a while. the cultural diffrences we have here are too vast.

Aldo - I don't know if you'll read this but I'm going to try one more time to get through to you. I'll take a crack at understanding where you're coming from. You grew up a big fish in a small pond - your family was probably once part of the very wealthy elite but aren't nearly as rich as they used to be. You grew up with no responsibilities thinking your life would be that of a playboy, and it was for a long time. Expensive cars, pretty girls, flying to other parts of Europe to play. You pretended to go to school for a while but there was no real need to apply yourself because you believed there was an endless supply of money to be had from your family. How am I doing so far?

But then you messed up. Pis*ed away hundreds of thousands of dollars gambling, drank way too much, alienated too many people, etc. So your parents finally said "enough" and cut you off. You see this as horribly unfair and in a way it is, because your parents never taught you to stand on your own two feet. You now see yourself in a deep pit with no way out. You've never considered the possibility of not having a car. You've never considered the possibility that you might have to take a job "beneath your station in life."

But here you are Aldo and you have two choices. You can either sink or swim. I vote you swim. It's not going to be easy. You are going to have to swallow your pride and start from the bottom. You need to do WHATEVER it takes to find yourself a job, deal with your gambling and addiction problems and try to begin earning the trust and respect of your family back. You seem to see your problems as a lack or girls and cars. My friend, your problems are much more immediate and serious than that. I believe you can do this. You managed 6 years of sobriety. That shows serious commitment and dedication. You can turn your life around but it's going to take work. No more excuses Aldo. If you want to change your life, it's up to you.

[ImJulie]

Hey hope....even if Aldo hears none of that...I heard it. Thankyou.
Ive been struggling with getting off my butt and getting a job...but Im not qualified for much and...well...frankly, Im used to being taken care of. I dont want a job thats "below my station in life" LOL
Thanks again.
Ill keep you posted and let you know if the coffee shop hires me.