Help - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

bunnicula · 12-19-2006, 10:45 PM

I typed and deleted so many subject headings to this thread, trying to be witty, trying to say what I'm going through in a succinct, clever little phrase, but in the end that one word says it all.

I just joined this site tonight, in an act of desparation after yet another relapse. I've been hooked on more drugs than I can name here; the worst have been percocet and lortab (perscribed after surgeries by docs who have no problem with refilling until the end of time), which I've taken on and off for the past 18 months. My highest dosage was 10-12 lortabs (Hydrocodone 10/500) a day for maybe a month or so.

I went to a doc to get off them, he perscribed me subutex. Instead of merely taking away the withdrawl, it also gave me a lovely opiate high that lasted 3-4 times longer than that of perc or lortab. I liked 'em too much, flushed the rest after a couple weeks. Went back on the lortab about 3 weeks later. Then off. Then on. Tens...dozens...lord, it feels like hundreds of times.

Alcohol has been a MAJOR problem; I never drank a lot, or every day, but when I do it alters my personality alarmingly and I get myself into awful situations I need not describe here. I haven't had a drink in two months (following a disaster at my boyfriend's sister's wedding...uuugh)

The opiates and alcohol have the most profound effect on my personality, emotional state, and life in general. Lately, however, after getting off both, I've been easing my anxiety with klonopin and lorazepam. Sure enough...now I'm hooked on those, too.

It never ends. It's a month sober, then a new drug. Or I go back to an old one. My bf has been outrageously supportive but the toll my lifestyle is taking on our six-year relationship is enough to break us both if I don't stop now. We've been to counseling, which helped tremendously. Now for the next step. I know I need to go to AA/NA, I just need some support on this forum to get me there...and let me know there really are other people out there who are struggling with the same issues and who don't get wasted at all the holiday parties.

Thanks for reading all this. Thank you for being here.

Katie

best · 12-19-2006, 10:57 PM

Hello Katie (my daughter's name)

Welcome to SR. You are not alone.
As people show up they will post. Many have come by here that have been in your shoes and found the needed support and solutions.
You will also.
Above the blue line on each board you will find posts that say sticky beside them. A good place to start in gathering some insights would be reading the stickies.

Again...welcome. Glad you signed in and are on your way towards solutions.

12-19-2006, 11:15 PM

Welcome Aboard, Katie! Bunnicula (?) LoL. We're glad you're here.

Time2Surrender · 12-19-2006, 11:48 PM

Welcome to SoberRecovery.

You can find plenty of support here.

nivosa · 12-20-2006, 01:29 AM

Katie,
I know all too well where your coming from. I am a recovering alcoholic, but it seems that it's more whatevers handy at the time, hell even coffee..........I wish there were an easy way to just put the whole mess down, but it is around us all the time. Honesty and perseverance are all we have, one day at a time. If you need to go back to the doc about the opiates, ask about Syboxone, it's relatively new and only prescribed by certain docs, but it really works in relation to opiates and craving/withdrawl. Good luck to you and if you need anything just write!
Rick

**CarolD** · 12-20-2006, 02:37 AM

Welcome to SR!

You too can find the peace and joy of recovery!

Glad to see a new member. Blessings

mikiglen · 12-20-2006, 06:36 AM

glad to see you here.
check out the substance abuse forum when you get a minute...there's a lot of us in recovery from lortab/perc/oxy addictions
pm me if you need anything
misti

sober121706 · 12-20-2006, 07:37 AM

Hi Katie. I'm new here as well. Good to see you here!

BigSis · 12-20-2006, 07:43 AM

Hey Katie... I joined AA after being sober for 20 years, and only after I went to Alanon first.

For me, 12-step programs, working the steps and studying the 12 traditions has made an incredible improvement in my life.

You have my vote and my admiration. I hope you can find a meeting today.

(((hugs)))

MeggieStar · 12-20-2006, 08:36 AM

Hi Katie,

I saw you come on last night on the Substance Forum, a great place to start! There is alot of support here for anyone who is struggling.

If you are thinking about meetings, don't delay...you don't need anyone to ok you going. Just pick a meeting and show up, and let us know how it goes!

My husband is the addict in my life, so I'm usually on the other side of the fence, but I took special notice of your post because of your name.

The Bunnicula series used to be my favorite books as a kid, and barely anyone else has heard of them!! I had a huge smile when I saw your name.

Thanks for joining us!

***Anna*** · 12-20-2006, 08:40 AM

Hi Katie,

Welcome!

I am so glad you found us. You are not alone and I know it will be hard to get clean and to stay clean, but there is a lot of support here and you can do it.

Wharf Rat · 12-20-2006, 09:07 AM

Welcome!

I would get to some kind of support group (AA/NA) as soon as possible, because alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease when left untreated that will only seek your death..

bunnicula · 12-21-2006, 07:40 PM

Thank you all for your responses. They are helping a lot during this hellish time. Meggie, love that you got the bunnicula reference.

So far I've been immobilized with panic...can't believe I'm going through this again. Luckily this day is most of the way over...

gypsytears · 12-22-2006, 12:46 PM

Hi Bunnicula... cute name. My daughter & her friend did a Bunnicula project for English class a few years ago

.

How are you doing today?

nogard · 12-22-2006, 01:18 PM

Hi Kate, welcome to SR

leviathon · 12-22-2006, 06:55 PM

Welcome to SR Bunnicula. Sorry to hear about your struggles. Know though that as long as you don't give up, there is always hope.

Peace, Levi.

12-19-2006, 10:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
bunnicula Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 8	Help I typed and deleted so many subject headings to this thread, trying to be witty, trying to say what I'm going through in a succinct, clever little phrase, but in the end that one word says it all. I just joined this site tonight, in an act of desparation after yet another relapse. I've been hooked on more drugs than I can name here; the worst have been percocet and lortab (perscribed after surgeries by docs who have no problem with refilling until the end of time), which I've taken on and off for the past 18 months. My highest dosage was 10-12 lortabs (Hydrocodone 10/500) a day for maybe a month or so. I went to a doc to get off them, he perscribed me subutex. Instead of merely taking away the withdrawl, it also gave me a lovely opiate high that lasted 3-4 times longer than that of perc or lortab. I liked 'em too much, flushed the rest after a couple weeks. Went back on the lortab about 3 weeks later. Then off. Then on. Tens...dozens...lord, it feels like hundreds of times. Alcohol has been a MAJOR problem; I never drank a lot, or every day, but when I do it alters my personality alarmingly and I get myself into awful situations I need not describe here. I haven't had a drink in two months (following a disaster at my boyfriend's sister's wedding...uuugh) The opiates and alcohol have the most profound effect on my personality, emotional state, and life in general. Lately, however, after getting off both, I've been easing my anxiety with klonopin and lorazepam. Sure enough...now I'm hooked on those, too. It never ends. It's a month sober, then a new drug. Or I go back to an old one. My bf has been outrageously supportive but the toll my lifestyle is taking on our six-year relationship is enough to break us both if I don't stop now. We've been to counseling, which helped tremendously. Now for the next step. I know I need to go to AA/NA, I just need some support on this forum to get me there...and let me know there really are other people out there who are struggling with the same issues and who don't get wasted at all the holiday parties. Thanks for reading all this. Thank you for being here. Katie

12-19-2006, 10:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,166	Hello Katie (my daughter's name) Welcome to SR. You are not alone. As people show up they will post. Many have come by here that have been in your shoes and found the needed support and solutions. You will also. Above the blue line on each board you will find posts that say sticky beside them. A good place to start in gathering some insights would be reading the stickies. Again...welcome. Glad you signed in and are on your way towards solutions. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

12-20-2006, 02:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	Welcome to SR! You too can find the peace and joy of recovery! Glad to see a new member. Blessings __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

12-20-2006, 06:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
mikiglen Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: here, there, everywhere Posts: 2,118	glad to see you here. check out the substance abuse forum when you get a minute...there's a lot of us in recovery from lortab/perc/oxy addictions pm me if you need anything misti __________________ Now and again we try To just stay alive Maybe we'll turn it all around 'Cause it's not too late It's never too late

12-20-2006, 07:43 AM	#9 (permalink)
BigSis On a tear Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country! Posts: 3,240	Hey Katie... I joined AA after being sober for 20 years, and only after I went to Alanon first. For me, 12-step programs, working the steps and studying the 12 traditions has made an incredible improvement in my life. You have my vote and my admiration. I hope you can find a meeting today. (((hugs))) __________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis

12-19-2006, 11:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Midas Guest Posts: n/a	Welcome Aboard, Katie! Bunnicula (?) LoL. We're glad you're here.

12-19-2006, 11:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Welcome to SoberRecovery. You can find plenty of support here.

12-20-2006, 01:29 AM	#5 (permalink)
nivosa Nivosa Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Arvada, CO Posts: 17	Katie, I know all too well where your coming from. I am a recovering alcoholic, but it seems that it's more whatevers handy at the time, hell even coffee..........I wish there were an easy way to just put the whole mess down, but it is around us all the time. Honesty and perseverance are all we have, one day at a time. If you need to go back to the doc about the opiates, ask about Syboxone, it's relatively new and only prescribed by certain docs, but it really works in relation to opiates and craving/withdrawl. Good luck to you and if you need anything just write! Rick

12-20-2006, 07:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
sober121706 Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Illinoiz Posts: 10	Hi Katie. I'm new here as well. Good to see you here!

12-20-2006, 08:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
MeggieStar Starry Girl Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Starry Night Posts: 251	Hi Katie, I saw you come on last night on the Substance Forum, a great place to start! There is alot of support here for anyone who is struggling. If you are thinking about meetings, don't delay...you don't need anyone to ok you going. Just pick a meeting and show up, and let us know how it goes! My husband is the addict in my life, so I'm usually on the other side of the fence, but I took special notice of your post because of your name. The Bunnicula series used to be my favorite books as a kid, and barely anyone else has heard of them!! I had a huge smile when I saw your name. Thanks for joining us! __________________ I am the Queen of Myself.

12-20-2006, 08:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,757	Hi Katie, Welcome! I am so glad you found us. You are not alone and I know it will be hard to get clean and to stay clean, but there is a lot of support here and you can do it. __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

12-20-2006, 09:07 AM	#12 (permalink)
Wharf Rat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 47	Welcome! I would get to some kind of support group (AA/NA) as soon as possible, because alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease when left untreated that will only seek your death..

12-21-2006, 07:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
bunnicula Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 8	Thank you all for your responses. They are helping a lot during this hellish time. Meggie, love that you got the bunnicula reference. So far I've been immobilized with panic...can't believe I'm going through this again. Luckily this day is most of the way over...

12-22-2006, 12:46 PM	#14 (permalink)
gypsytears not a greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: padmasana Posts: 12,538 Blog Entries: 2	Hi Bunnicula... cute name. My daughter & her friend did a Bunnicula project for English class a few years ago . How are you doing today?

12-22-2006, 01:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
nogard everything is already ok Join Date: May 2005 Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia Posts: 16,962 Blog Entries: 3	Hi Kate, welcome to SR __________________ ...And like a bird that's on the wing and is flying free He can hear the song of home endlessly

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12-22-2006, 06:55 PM	#16 (permalink)
leviathon Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Somwhere over the rainbow Posts: 1,176	Welcome to SR Bunnicula. Sorry to hear about your struggles. Know though that as long as you don't give up, there is always hope. Peace, Levi. __________________ Hope springs eternal!

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