this time its for me ! i never want the relapse depression again !!!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

frstnm · 12-13-2006, 12:49 PM

I want to get sober so I dont have to deal with all the garbage of my disease - especially the depression after relapse!!!!!
My health both mental and physical have been impacted by years of abuse. They will be impacted for the rest of my life but I cant dwell on that - gotta keep my thick skull thinking just for today or minute to minute if thats what it takes.

One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!! I know its going to be alot of work but with all the support of this forum, people at meetings, my sponsor, my therapist and sober family and friends I hope to god that I can do it !!!
JUST FOR ME !!!!!!

- positive emotion and that and I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions

**51anna** · 12-13-2006, 02:48 PM

I had a hard time dealing with 'feeling good' too. In fact, I would sabotage myself again and again after I had been sober for a few weeks. I was more comfortable dealing with failing, than dealing with succeeding.

Take a step out of the cycle of relapse and move forward. You can do this. And, none of us have any control about what happens tomorrow, but we can choose to do the right thing and feel good about it today.

hope3 · 12-13-2006, 04:20 PM

Hi frstname, I'm sorry you are having a hard
time. I do hear a lot of determination in your words
and I believe you can do it, you can, you can, you can!
Hang in there!

frstnm · 12-13-2006, 04:44 PM

Thanks anna and hope3 I defietly need the encouragement right now.
Im going on 48 hours wo a drink and Im starting to worry I cant do it and will go back out.
I think I will leave my cards at home and carry no cash when I head to a meeting at 7 ish....
Thank god its almost time to leave - I need the saftey and support of my meeting and support group !

12-13-2006, 12:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
frstnm Im not crazy and neither am I Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts Posts: 1,213	this time its for me ! i never want the relapse depression again !!!! I want to get sober so I dont have to deal with all the garbage of my disease - especially the depression after relapse!!!!! My health both mental and physical have been impacted by years of abuse. They will be impacted for the rest of my life but I cant dwell on that - gotta keep my thick skull thinking just for today or minute to minute if thats what it takes. One of the things I want back for myself is self respect, trusting and liking myself. I dont think my family would have anything to do with me if I am not sober for a good few weeks anyway. I havent told them I slipped a few times. Some how I want to do this for me to be accepted as a positive, healthy and clean member of society and member of my family. Although I may never get these things because they are beyond my control it would be great. I just want to feel good again !!!! I know its going to be alot of work but with all the support of this forum, people at meetings, my sponsor, my therapist and sober family and friends I hope to god that I can do it !!! JUST FOR ME !!!!!! - positive emotion and that and I cant deal with as I havent felt good about myself for years due to my abuse of substances, my upbringing and family traditions

12-13-2006, 02:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,498	I had a hard time dealing with 'feeling good' too. In fact, I would sabotage myself again and again after I had been sober for a few weeks. I was more comfortable dealing with failing, than dealing with succeeding. Take a step out of the cycle of relapse and move forward. You can do this. And, none of us have any control about what happens tomorrow, but we can choose to do the right thing and feel good about it today. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

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12-13-2006, 04:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
hope3 Hope3 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 2,036	Hi frstname, I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I do hear a lot of determination in your words and I believe you can do it, you can, you can, you can! Hang in there!

12-13-2006, 04:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
frstnm Im not crazy and neither am I Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts Posts: 1,213	Thanks anna and hope3 I defietly need the encouragement right now. Im going on 48 hours wo a drink and Im starting to worry I cant do it and will go back out. I think I will leave my cards at home and carry no cash when I head to a meeting at 7 ish.... Thank god its almost time to leave - I need the saftey and support of my meeting and support group !

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