TOPIC: Baton Rouge Sober Recovery Member's Update

[aasharon90]

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent had
a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that im truely grateful.

Sober Recovery family i made it here
to Baton Rouge last night safe and
sound. Thanks to my HP and good
driving by my spouse. : )

Since we arrived here in the dark
i couldnt see all the new things
that have been built since ive been
gone....so today ill have fun tooling
around town checking it all out.

Will probabaly get a bit to eat with
a long time friend of mine and plan
to make a speaker meeting tonight
at 8. Hmmm i think thats the time...
ill have to check that one to make
sure....i dont want to be late.

This speaker meeting was the only
one i went to almost every Saturday
night since i got sober until i moved.

So it will be nice to go once again.

I have lots of thoughts trying to
bombarde my brain and it gets to
be overwhelming. So I need to take
each moment at a time.

With the connection here to SR on
this trip...i think i can do so now.

Anyway....

Thank you guys for being here for me.

Ill be reading and sharing every step
of my journey here in Baton Rouge.

Maybe this trip...

OPERATION KEEP SHARON HERE IN
BATON ROUGE

May become another miracle in my life
providing it be Thy Will and Not Mine.

Thanks for letting me share.

[juliee]

What does HP stand for?

[mikiglen]

Higher Power

[juliee]

Thanks for the answer! I got one of those for sure. Glad you made it to BR safe and sound Sharon! I think the city is about the same since Katrina except for LOTS more traffic and ruder drivers. Everyone is so on edge, but I guess I can understand why. Lots of transplants from NO and surrounding areas and it must be really scarry to have gone through what they have gone through. My prayers are with all you storm victims.

[gypsytears]

I'm glad you made it there safely Sharon. Please do update us on all that's new for you. Have fun!

[aasharon90]

Thanks you guys for the warm messages.
I was to get with an old friend of mine for
lunch but plans changed for him. Oh well....
So i got out on my own and drove around
town.....The most rewarding feeling i got
was knowing everything looked familiar to
me along with new sites added. You know
that comforting feeling of familiararity.
That's what makes me feel at home. A
homey feeling. : )

Anyway....i always liked the moss
covered huge oak trees that overlap
the country roads. Its just a 2 lane
road with enough traffic that u need
to drive slow.... So the huge trees
provide lots of shade while driving...
unlike in the city when ur on the hwy
all the time....

Ok, so ive been having these
thoughts flip flopping in my head....
i think its just a touch of fear thats
trying to take over. It would be so
easy to cop out and return back to
Houston where once again i will be
miserable. I dont want to live the
rest of my life next to the Lopez's.
I just can't. : ( My little grocery
store job is just that ..little with
no wheres to grow.

I could return there and not have
to worry about really working as
my husbands been supporting me
for 24 yrs now....Thats just taking
the easy way out trying to grow
and mature. It's a cop out.

Or, pull myself up by the boot
straps and get moving here.

I did ride out to find the main bank
office downtown and for the life of
me i couldnt...i think i just kept passing
it up. Oh wellill try again tomorrow...
i mean i do have a few days before
my Tuesday interview with them. : )

And lets see..i will go to my 8pm
speaker meeting at a Jewish center.
In fact i rode out there too to make
sure i would get lost later and pulled
in the drive in where a wedding was
taking place....i spotted empty beer
bottles outside next to the tubs filled
with cold beer i guess.....

Im sure if i was in a bad spot...i would
have driven clos enough, opened my
door and swipped a couple for the
road....Thank God i wasnt in that
position...whew..! : )

Well thats all for the moment...

Thanks for letting me share with
u guys.

Glad you made it OK. Should be interesting to see how things work out, eh?

[Hope]

Thank you for sharing this with us, Sharon. I'm so happy for you.
I will be reading along as you move along on your wonderful journey!

[aasharon90]

Hey u guys...im back from my first AA
meeting in sometime now...well lets say
a f2f meeting...face to face meeting...
: ) Coming here to SR is a meeting for
me everyday. : )

Thanks u guys for being here with me.
I need u guys always.

I spent more time getting ready for
the meeting that i wound up racing
to get to it....I dont know why i do
that to myself....and i end up being
nervous and anxious.

Ok, so i made it safely to the meeting
...WHEW..!

I walked in and looked around and saw
a room FULL OF MEN...lol I must have
hit the jackpot..lol So i emmediately
turned around to RUN..lol and i heard
a voice say can i help u...i turned and
new the man and called him by name
and and stuck my hand out to shake
his introducing myself....I then asked
him if the meeting was an all mens
meeting and he said no....just more
men come to the meetings with hopes
a few women would show up... : )

Im not new to those rooms and felt
at ease in that respect....so i headed
to the coffee pot where ALL the MEN
were either standing there or sitting
near it....

MAN...THE MEN SEATED ON THE SOFA...lol
looked like coaches...lol

And i had to pass right by them...i sure
hoped my deodorent was working over
time...lol and my purfume...lol

Ok...so i sit next to a gentlemen and
began to ask a few questions after i
introduced myself....we chit chatted
for a minute or 2 before the meeting
began....

Then the question of any out of towner
at that meeting...i paused and blurted
out ...

Hi, Im Sharon and I'm and Alcoholic
and Im visiting from Houston.... YEEHA..!

lol

Let the meeting begin...

I listened to a man tell his 1 yr
sobriety story....U know, he had
more willpower to tell his story as
early as he is in his recovery than
i ever did....

Ive shyed away every time to
tell my story....

Anyway....Im glad i went. I need to
really begin to give back what is
soooo freely given to me.

Being a part of SR maybe preparing
me for whats to come...

[aasharon90]

You know...reflecting back on today...
i must add that altho i am anxious to
return to my roots back here in
Baton Rouge...i believe all things
have to happen for a reason...u
may not necessarily see that at
first or for a long time, but it is true...

My move to Houston had to
happen for a good reason...
mainly for the kids...

And now...just today as i was
driving around...i guess after
living in Houston for 10 yrs
now...i look at Baton Rouge
as a piece of cake...where as
before i thought BR was huge...
now i feel like ive gone away
and grown some to where i can
actually see it in my feelings...

I felt all grown up today riding
around...breaking away from my
comfort zone where i lived all my
life and now....its a cool feeling... : )

PROGRESS is what u call this... YEAH..!

[aasharon90]

Evening SR Family...Well so far it seems like all
my AA buddies and a friend that i wanted to
visit with in person has been nada....Nothing.

I got in Friday night so it was to late to get with
anyone...Then yesterday..i spend the day alone
with the exception of going to my 8pm speaker
meeting. Came back to the room.

Then all day today ALONE...lol with the exception
of making my 7pm speaker meeting at the rehab
center. Came back to the room pronto. lol

Ok, let me share about tonights meeting....i was
hoping to see 2 of my AA buddies there so i
wouldnt feel alone....welll no show from them.. : (

But i did see one person i knew and sat at his
table and visited with him....

I have some left over house cleaning cards i had
made several or so yrs ago when i was doing that
for a few people....anyway...last night i changed
a few things on the cards to hand out...like my email
address and sober recovery where they can find me
doing my recovery work.

So the man and i exchanged cards to keep in touch...

Then just before the meeting began, a lady i recognized
from last nights meeting sat next to me....she turned to
me and said...ive seen u 2 days in a row so i must need
to meet you....i smiled and introduced myself to her.

After the meeting we chatted and she gave me her card
and told me if i was interested in working for the state
that she could help me....WOW..!

Now for the speaker tonight....she had 24 yrs. sobriety...

So listening to her was important....u know u can follow
along with them as they tell their story...some stories
are kinda....hmmmm how can i say it....boring....if u
understand me....i mean...everyone has a story to tell.

Well there r those that r absolutely great at telling theirs
and there r those probably like me who would put u to
sleep or make u walk out ...lol

Anyway...we r still not suppose to judge anyone....right?

So i listened and i did hear something that made sense.

The girl said she learned that her sobriety was contingent
on her spiritual realtionship with her HP and not for anyone
else....like her mom, husband....she use to depend on all
those other people or things to stay sober but really none
of that matters because she learned that ur relationship
with her HP is what has ulimately kept her sane and sober.

I can understand what she was saying as i also realize
that the longer i stay sober im learning that depending
on the right answers and allowing my HP to guide me
with His Will and not mine is important.

Sooooo cool..!

[hope3]

Sharon M, You know what they say, good things happen to good people.
Glad you're having a good time in BR.
Hey, go to a meeting--- get a state job!!!!!!!
God bless You.

[aasharon90]

lol hope..lol i was just writing to the lady that gave me her card and told me about the state job...lol what would i do...dont know if i can sit behind a desk 24/7...i have too much energy...lol

[hope3]

LOL Sharon M, I don't know, maybe you could start there and bid on another
job with the state in your field, I'm not sure, but hey, it sure must have felt nice to be asked. LOL, and good night, I think I am addicted to this site and my new friends, oh well, except for my neck I could do worse.

[aasharon90]

Evening you guys...Lets see if i can re-cap todays
activities....I went to a noon meeting which makes
it 3 meetings now.... : )

Good stuff today...i soooo enjoy listening to an
old-timer speak of his recovery with no bull...no
fluff or froo froo....just like it is raw..... If u know
what i mean.

Just totally awesome. Then i heard one speak about
drugs and how that person smells different of others.

Ok that was a first to me...She says she can smell
someone on drugs from a mile away. They smell
plastic like???

Oh well..i didnt do drugs that way to have that kinda
smell...unless it was weed smoke...lol soooo long ago.

Anyway....she talked about how she looked when
she was drunk or stoned...how aweful she smelled
and looked....

Me i was always worried about the way i looked so
no one ever suspected i was drunk....well not by
appearances but surely by my actions at times....

I knew when i was feeling great after a few drinks...
and i knew what i felt like drunk.

But i sure fooled a hell of alot of people.

Anyway...the meeting was good...and i
even brought a bag of Christmas Ginger
bread cookies to share... : )

After the meeting i went to my old bank
i use to work at long ago.....and it still
looks the same except only 3 people
were working there today....

It still felt great to go in a look around
and get that feeling of what it was like
working there.....Of course tomorrow
bright and early i will be interviewing
for a teller position.

I also went to the Human Resources
dept to talk to someone about a position
in the rehab center....there's nothing
available at the moment so i will keep
in touch with them....

Tonight my husband and i grabbed a bite
to eat and road around to see the Christmas
lights...

I know he has no intentions of wanting to
move back here to Baton Rouge....but he
and the family are supportive of me and
want to see me happy.

All i want to do is to be of best service to
my HP in what ever He wants me to do...
To be open and available or be a team
player in what ever is offered to me.

I will go tomorrow with an open mind
and willingness to do what ever is
asked of me.

[aasharon90]

Hello SR...Well i made it to my bank interview early
this morning....After hearing about all the traffic
here in BR i decided to leave early and not get
caught up in all that mess....well to my surprise,
there was hardly any traffic and i cruised on in
there a half an hr early.... : )

I made it up to the second floor and was asked to
fill out an application by hand....when i was done
i was asked to go in the office where the HR lady
asked me questions pertaining to my interest in
that bank....Well it is my old bank just with a new
name.

And so she sent me back to my hotel to take this
2 hour online test.... WHEW....it wipped me out....lol

Math problems, numbers, NOOOOO i was not good
in math...lol Anyway...i completed it and sent it
back ASAP.

Now we play the waiting game as to see what happens
before im to head back to Houston.

Right now im totally drained....probably due to the
anticipation of the drive here to BR and the job
interviews....yesterdays one with HR for the Mental
Health Tech position is what i really want to do....

Its something in recovery.....and unlike the bank ...
which i will have to sell ...well now that im thinking
of it.. we in recovery are like salesman promoting recovery.
Right?

Anyway...i think im gonna chill out here tonight and get
a good nights sleep....or i may change my mind and
head to a Step meeting at 7:30 which would make it
my 4th meeting since arriving here to BR.

We'll see...

[nogard]

(((((Sharon))))) I need some help in my business and Victoria Australia is only down the road from Baton Rouge

Kevin

[aasharon90]

Im on my way Kevin...lol thank u..!

[aasharon90]

Ok, so my daughter and i were just chatting on the computer when she told me i had a message on the machine from the bank....i told her to get all the info and let me know....sooo the news i was waiting for was sent to Houston to my phone machine..lol I will call the lady tomorrow at the branch that has an opening and set up and interview with her.

Yeah..! IM SCARED....Fear wants to creep in u know...

See times have changed and new technolgy since 1980 when i first worked as a teller....today im scared because of not knowing what to expect.....then its a selling thing...where as a teller i will have to sell the banks products and refering them to an officer 4 times a month...if i dont meet that quota then i will be written up...and if continues then i maybe let go.

I know im getting to far ahead of myself....now a days they hire young people like students....what do i have to worry about...i have yrs of life experiences..older..wiser... and scared as all...lol

Then to move back here into an apt. with my pets with my belongings....its the anxiety and anticipation...of not knowing what will happen....how will things turn out....

I know as long as i have faith in my HP and I allow Him to work thru me then im not alone...He will always be there to protect me and guide me...

RIGHT?

This is what ive wanted to do for 10 yrs....to be home again....

But look at me..for someone who has depended on my husband finacially for 24 yrs....well..he will be there for awhile im guessing but for the majority i will be supporting myself.... SCARRY...

One moment at a time.....

I mean i did live on my own from 18 yrs old till i got married at 23...i worked full time in sales and banking and had my own apt...clothes...it was a furnished apt tho...

And all of that while partying and drinking...early stages of alcoholism....

Today..im sobor 16 yrs....24 yrs married...2 wonderful kids....and now....lol

WHAT AM I THINKING...LOL

[Hope]

(((Sharon)))
Sending big hugs your way. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you.

You will do great!