Need to Post

[NewLeaf]

It's been a week and two days since my last drink and for some reason I am having a real craving right now. I would just LOVE a martini... Three olives... mmm.... Most evenings have been tough, but tonight's the worst!!!! I went until about 4:30PM -- and wham!!!! I ate something instead, and on the way home from dropping kids off somewhere (just about a half hour or so ago) all I could do was imagine myself with that drink. My mouth actually watered.

SOOOOO -- I'm taking a sanity break. My husband's out at a black tie event and I'm here at home with the cabinet ... and luckily ... this computer, thank God, so I can post to get it out.

We're getting a tree this weekend. My brother's bringing a good beer to the BYOB restaurant we go to every year, so I had to let him know not to count on me. He was surprised. No one really suspects the extent of the porblem I've been having. The holidays are going to be a nightmare.

Funny -- a lot of the time (during the a.m. and early afternoon) I'm telling myself how wonderful it feels not to be in a fog. How enjoyable it is to feel really AWAKE to all that's going on around me. To take the kids in. To breathe deeply... and to feel content. That's what the past week has given me. IT'S THE EVENINGS THAT ARE HARD!!!!

Many of you have suggested AA meetings. Problem is: I simply couldn't fit one more single thing into my life. Running these four kids around -- Work, Regional/National Soccer events, my son's band, horseback riding, theatre, cello lessons, voice lessons, volunteering, school sports, etc. I thank all of you (and the people making this board possible) for being such a big help to me.

Without the Lord, prayer and all of you -- I'd be lost.

I feel better now.

Liz

[janeeyre]

Wow, Liz--I've never seen you around before, but am glad I saw this post. And I'm glad you feel better now!

You're doing great to post here instead of drink. That's what I'm doing, too. (Dids were fighting, which stressed me out, which makes me want to drink). I hear what you're saying, too, about trying to find time to cram in an AA meeting with all the mom-stuff you have to do.

Keep it up, Liz...you'll do just fine!

Take care,
Jane

P.S. Come join us other moms on the "moms staying sane while not using" thread here on the newcomers' board--it's been a Godsend for me!

[CarolD]

Hi Liz...Well done!

In early recovery . I timed my cravings.
Mine were 5/7 minutes in duration.
I can overcome most things for that short time!

I took action during that space.
Brushing my teeth...eating a Lifesaver...drinking water
(notice the oral connection?)

The longer I stayed sober they lessened in both frequency and intensity.

Keep going forward...

[mikiglen]

very interesting on the time thing, carol, thanks for that!

[janeeyre]

Hey again, Liz--

Here's a link to that "mom" thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html (Any moms out there keeping sane while not using - Part 4)

[51anna]

Hi Liz,

It's hard, but when you get through a craving, you will be stronger. It sounds like you're doing great.

[NewLeaf]

Thanks!!!! For the words, the encouragement, and the link. I made myself a cup of herbal tea -- Bengal Spice. It smells heavenly, the cup's warm, and it tastes good; I'm trying to busy my senses so my mind doesn't stray...

I'd better run now to pick up some of the kids. I'll touch base later. Thinking of all of you, as I make my runs.

Liz

[janeeyre]

(((Liz))) Good job!

[aasharon90]

Welcome Liz.

My name is sharon and im an alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people like
u here in SR i havent had a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90. For that im truely grateful.

I use to whin to my sponsor about this
and that and meetings and family and
marriage and so on...

My sponsor along with many others in
recovery before me shared how important
those AA meetings were to them. How
important their recovery was. Their sobriety
was to them.


They would share that they wouldnt have all
that other stuff...the job, the house, the wife,
husband, kids, car, money, etc. if they were not
sober.

So many folks wind up losing everything they have
due to drugs and alcohol....then u have those that
have not lost the material things, but just about lost
sanity and everything else along with that.

I almost lost my life due to drinking because i thought
i could manage stopping by myself. I tried soooo many
times and failed soooo many times....till weird strange
things began to happen....my behavior was not normal.

Anyway...my family stepped in when i tried to end
my misery one night....thru intervention i was picked
up by the police with a court order to take me to the
nut house first...to only then find out i wasnt nuts,
just couldnt control my drinking.

And so i spent the next 28 days in rehab recieving
the tools and knowledge of recovery and how to stay
sober one day at a time.

Today im very grateful for given another chance in life.

Today my soul purpose is to give back what was sooo
freely given to me over the yrs. To share my own
Experiences, strengths and hopes with others in hopes
they too will learn to stay sober.

To drink for me today is to die. Alcohol is POISON
to me. If i pick up a drink i will sure end up totally
drunk, crazy, or die....i really dont know if i have
another drunk in me to make it back to these rooms.

So i think i will chose sobriety over drinking any day...
Well TODAY.

Thanks for letting me share.

[gypsytears]

Bengal spice is good. Have another cup and relax .

[janeeyre]

Hi, Liz!

How's it going today?
(I love your avatar!)

Jane