Screwed Up

[recoveryforme]

[b]Hi All,
Well I went to a Halloween party last night and I drank- I have done alot of soul searching, and crying this morning.
I have asked God to come into my heart and help me get rid of this awful disease. please could you all pray for me to?
I am letting the alcohol get in the way of whats important- family, friends, life. My goal is to post and be here each and every day- and to get advice from you all.
This is my day 1 of being sober and I am so hoping it will last this time. I am scared - especially when I don't remember what happened the night before. My husband didn't drink in fact he took drunk people home last night- me included. I should of took his cue and not drank- but I didn't I listened to satan- and the alcohol.
My friend went with me and I did email and apologize to her- she doesn't drink and I so am hoping I didn't lose her friendship- I am also going to start going back to church- and taking the long way home from work- or maybe even walk so I don't have the urge to by alcohol.
How do you make amends when you do wrong? Please any help would be appreciated- I feel lost and sad...very weepy this morning- God put me on earth for a reason and I don't think being an alcoholic was in his plan for me. or for any of us.

Thanks for listening,
recoveryforme

[laurience]

Well, all you can do is sincerely apologize. It sounds like you have done that and maybe talk with your husband. I remember those weepy morning where I felt very paranoid and scared because I didn't remember a thing. I will say a little prayer for you. Don't beat yourself up, it won't help and will make you feel that much worse. Brush yourself off and today is a new day. Best of luck.
Joanne

*prayers*

[degadar]

Hi recoveryforme,

I'll have a word with the Boss for you. - The good news is that you're moving forward and are ready for the next fight.

Keep strong

Deg.

[OnRecoveryRoad]

RecoveryForMe,

Brush yourself off and try again. We all have fallen, but the main thing is to realize what happened and why. Examine the triggers that lead you to drinking last night. I always do that now and it helps. I asked myself if I am putting myself in danger of drinking in certain situations...and if I answer myself "yes". Then I don't go.

I too was invited to a Halloween party of a family member. I am not comfortable around my family and too fresh in recovery. I would have been anxious and ended up drinking to relieve stress. Sometimes we need to examine what we need to give up in order to achieve sobriety. For me, its social events with alcohol present. I know I won't make it!

Hope this helps.

[51anna]

Hi,

This is a very hard road for us to follow, but you know it will be worth it.

Your idea of taking a different route home is great. What worked for me was to change my routines and the patterns of my life. Plan to be doing something completely different during the times you would have been drinking. It seems hard, but it works. You can do this.

[Iris]

Hi recoveryforme,
I have been where you are now and I know you feel just terrible.
Someone, I don't remember who, posted on this board before that you never have to feel this bad again...It really touched me and I hope it touches you.
When it all comes down to it, we are our own worst enemy but have to learn how to fight the GOOD fight. Blessings to you and I hope you get on the right path and feel better soon. There is lots of help and information here to help you on your way when you are ready.