TOPIC: The Question Is Not "WHY" But "HOW!"

[aasharon90]

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90. For that and
you im truely grateful.

Many days we are tempted to ask
"Why?" - Why did this happen to me?
Why was I singled out? Why am I
not a different person? But the "whys"
only lead to clever explanations and
rationalizations of what we do or what
we are. The question for us is not
"why," but "how!"

The "how" can give us a deeper
understanding of the program; we ask
how to do, listen to and learn the program
of recovery. We ask our HP how and
He provides the strength and guidance
needed. "How" will lead to everything
needed for recovery and personal growth.
"Why" is irrevelent.

Have I/you learned how to live?

HP, teach me how to live, love and learn.

[Rusty Zipper]

Sharon

"why," but "how!"

i am learning how to live life on the terms of life... not mine. and what a challange that is... some days good some days not so good... for me, it is what it is... its how i accept the "Is" is what makes the differance...

How? "Honesty, Openmindedness, and that dang Willingness to do it"

agw & gol ................................. xxoo, pattee

[Hazel]

Hi Sharon,

Thanks for this! I'm just a couple of days past the month mark...and I've repetedly found myself asking the "why" question over and over.

I've found this to be so very true:

Originally Posted by aasharon90

But the "whys" only lead to clever explanations and rationalizations of what we do or what we are. The question for us is not "why," but "how!"

As you say, the "whys" lead to justification, certainly ~ I know that by singling myself out, I also give myself false hope that I can "fix" my condition...which I can't. So I see now, that the "whys" are not only irrelevent, but also quite dangerous.

Originally Posted by aasharon90

Have I/you learned how to live?

Not yet, but I can now ask myself "how" to begin to learn...instead of "why me" in the first place. Gives a good incentive to move forward, rather than dwell in the past, which I (and I'm sure others) also struggle with.


Thanks Sharon, for this food for thought. Things seem a little clearer to me now.


Hazel

[Jersey Nonny]

Not "Why?", but "Why not!"

The answer to my "Why?" was simple...I drank too much, too often, for too long. But, I know there are many others whose stories are very different from mine...and, yet we eventually somehow all wound up in the same place.

Once we hit our own personal bottom and began to claw our way back to some degree of sanity, we could ask "Why not?" Why not use all the tools of AA/NA at our disposal to become the healthy, helpful, happy human beings we were always meant to be.

And, if we pay close attention (once the initial fog has lifted), the programs of recovery answer the "How?" very specifically. All we have to do is follow the simple suggestions found in the literature, spoken at the meetings, and shared by our sponsors. It's been working very well for a little over 70 years.

[Found]

I am a "how" person!

"How" I was made with these differences, to think and feel this way, to digest and not digest substances (not only alcohol) this way.

"How" to operate this precious collection of mechanisms!