Lost and Scared and New

[Rose28546]

Hello all, not sure what I am doing. Not much of a computer wizz, anyway, I have a problem, one that is growing daily and is scaring me to death. need someone to talk to, need help seeing the light and getting rid of the darkness. How do you go from seeing the "nice" doctor to becoming a "drug addict"? Surely, that is not what I have become? But when my Lorcet prescription ran out faster than expected and then even faster the next time, and, well, how confidential is this computer stuff?? When you start "needing" more and more of your medicine, and you stoop so low as to ask questions about where else I could get the medicine, ie;(on the streets) I finally thought, hmmmm?this is NOT the person I am, I am NOT a criminal, what am I thinking, even thinking is wrong! I just want to cry, cry and run, run away from it all..............I don't know what to do? sad thing is, I am a professional, college degree and even work in the medical field, so why am I being sooooooo stupid???????????Why????????Please help. Rose....

[CarolD]

Hi Rose...

When I was an active alcohoic. I did many many things that
I do not do any longer!
This can be true for you too.

Welcome to SR!

[nogard]

I still shake my head at the things I did and the damge I caused. The best thing I can do is to stay clean and sober.

Welcome to SR that was a great step to take

Kevin

[CarolD]

Rose...click on the link below and start to read there please

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/

There is lots of info and personal experiences
for you there

Blessings..

[nogard]

Originally Posted by CarolD

Rose...click on the link below and start to read there please

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/

If you would like too!!

[Hope]

We've all felt lost and scared. You are not alone.

There is hope sweetie! You have taken a huge first step by reaching out and asking questions.

When the drugs take hold, it makes us sick. It isn't us... we are under the control of the addiction. When we get in recovery, we are blessed with new opportunities to heal ourselves and fix the damage we did to others and to ourselves. We are given the offer of a new and better life. What a blessing that you are here.

Hope you will stick around!

[51anna]

Hi Rose,

I know it's hard for me to believe where I ended up and how I got there. I never would have imagined it, but...

The thing is you can stop now, and move forward in your life.

[ayla zaire]

i have been sober for 1 month 12 days and i still think...hmmm...maybe my neighbor has some painkillers...or maybe my doctor would call me in a prescription...and i have never been that person...but i am now and i realise that as an addict i may never be free of this...but i have a choice...and i choose to be sober...i hope you make that choice too because even though it is hard (especially thinking of yourself as an addict...that maybe one of the hardest things for me...i never thought i'd end up here) i am a better person now that i've admitted my problem...and i feel very good most days...you can change and it will change your life...for the better...

good luck and welcome to sr..

[chicago]

lost scared and new. i still feel lost scared and new. on thursday ill have 9 months and i still feel alone. your feelings are extremely normal. i guess i try to remember that there is nothing that a drink wont make worse. my character defects have gotten me in quite a jam in sobriety and it has led to me feeling lonely alot. but i try to remember where i was at the day i got sober and its ALOT worse than where i am at now. i just cant go through that pain today....ill be unemployed in a week, filled with more guilt and shame than ive probably ever felt. i just cant go through that pain right now...ill deal with tommorow when it gets here but at this exact minute im good.

[Rose28546]

I have read some of the replies to my plight and I thank you all very much, today is day 1 for me, day 1 only in that I have contacted this web site, I, of course, have not stopped what I am doing.......my "addiction" really, I can't believe I have an addiction, surely it is only my imagination? We will see where I go from here. I think my next step will be to find some kind of group thing I can get into, where I can actually see the people I am talking to, if I do take this step, I will unfortunatley be going into it with a lie, because the only way I can see myself talking within a group would be to say that I am there because "I have a friend that needs help with what I think is an addiction for her" (all the while talking about myself) I just don't think that I have the courage to walk in and say that the person with the problem is "me"! I'm really nervous and scared, but I have to do SOMETHING! I want to be here for my kids, I want to live the rest of my life NOT thinking about when I can get my next prescription! I hate living my life like this, I hate it!! Thankyou for listening, pray for me as I will do the same for all of you, there has to be a BETTER way and a BETTER life..................Rose