Newly Sober, Again

[E_Dili]

Howdy boys and girls.

I'm 23 now and have been using and abusing drugs since I was 15. This year I decided to end a 2 year alcohol addiction and 4 weeks later I ended a benzodiazepine addiction as well. After a week of the worst withdrawal I've ever experienced (benzo addicts in here are nodding their heads I am sure) I made the mistake of having 2 shots of grapa with a few friends (after 2 months without a drink) and promptly went right back into withdrawal in 2 hours. It was so not worth it.

Here I am a day later, going through the kick again. My legs feel like jelly and my stomach is in conniptions (and don't get me started about the tinnitus!) but I know I'm going to get through it. I've got this addiction beat. There are no more excuses I can make in my head to use again. I'm going through a very stressful period in my life (moving out of my house, out of a job and a boyfriend, trying to get back on my feet again) but I know I'm going to make it.

I will be hanging out in this forum as I recover. So nice to find a community of addicts supporting each other without 12 steps hanging over everyone's head. (apologies to any 12-steppers I may have offended; it's not for me)

Cheers to everyone on the path to health Two months with but one drink and I feel physically healthier than I have in years, withdrawal notwithstanding.

-E.D.

[Slowbriety]

I've got this addiction beat

if you have it beat why do you need this forum?

There are no more excuses I can make in my head to use again.

im sure you will find some.



dont mean to be harsh, but i know how i was when i thought i could do this on my own. i spent the next 2 years wanting to die everyday but being to scared to kill myself. then i fianlly went to AA. now my life is awsome. not saying you have to go to NA but you might wanna find something alittle more than just an internet forum.

oh, welcome

[Ngokpa]

The thing about the steps is they're about change. But they're not the only game around.

It's easy for recovering people to still act like addicts if they don't find some way of changing their relationship to the world, in which they're looking for some person, place, or thing to fill the holes they're trying to ignore. So please try to keep an open mind. You might find answers in SMART Recovery, LifeRing, or even some of the more eccentric 12-step meetings (they're out there), or maybe find a professional--a therapist or group.

I've gone to AA for a long time, even though I often haven't fit in. I ended up doing Buddhist meditation, which generally makes no sense to either mainline AA or the secular crowd. It started by going to meetings, getting involved, and then saying the Serenity Prayer (usually leaving "God" out), maybe to get in touch with parts of my personality I wasn't aware of, and become willing to try things I too easily dismissed.

I don't mean to preach. There are atheist and agnostic meetings in AA who have found a way. I'm just suggesting that you keep an open mind. Good luck!

[Dreamz]

Originally Posted by Slowbriety

not saying you have to go to NA but you might wanna find something alittle more than just an internet forum.

I don't go to meetings. I only rely on SR and I'm doing fine. Nearly 7 months clean.

Originally Posted by E_Dili

I will be hanging out in this forum as I recover. So nice to find a community of addicts supporting each other without 12 steps hanging over everyone's head. (apologies to any 12-steppers I may have offended; it's not for me)

It is nice to have the support of other people that know a little bit about what you're going through. I'm not into the meetings thing either. I know it works wonders for some people and I say whatever works for you - but like you meetings are not for me.

Recovery is tough but I have managed to stay clean nearly 7 months now with the support of my friends at SR so if you ever need anything - questions, worries, whatever just PM and I'll try help as much as I can!!!

Good luck!!!

[CarolD]

Welcome to SR!

[E_Dili]

Originally Posted by Slowbriety

if you have it beat why do you need this forum?

I don't need this forum; I am just looking for some company as I recover and I have been lurking for a few days. Thanks for the welcome

Originally Posted by Ngokpa

I don't mean to preach. There are atheist and agnostic meetings in AA who have found a way. I'm just suggesting that you keep an open mind. Good luck!

Thanks! I've actually been through one recovery program before (Rational Recovery) which gave me a lot of mental tools to end addiction. I took the course in 2003 when I was beating meth (I beat it: haven't used since that day) and I'm applying the same techniques. It seems like a sort of stripped-down CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and I like the approach, particularly the whole externalizing of your addiction into a "beast". It is good to give some form to what you are attacking. I will keep an open mind though. It's gotten me through so much.

Originally Posted by Dreamz

It is nice to have the support of other people that know a little bit about what you're going through. I'm not into the meetings thing either. I know it works wonders for some people and I say whatever works for you - but like you meetings are not for me.

I am the same way; I am focused on rebuilding things in my real life; no time for meetings! :P This is a mental battle and in the end I feel I have to fight it myself.

Originally Posted by Dreamz

Recovery is tough but I have managed to stay clean nearly 7 months now with the support of my friends at SR so if you ever need anything - questions, worries, whatever just PM and I'll try help as much as I can!!!

Congratulations on being 7 months sober. It must feel great. Thanks for the warm welcome everybody

[BSPGirl]

E_Dili, welcome to SR of course you too can post on those forums. I, myself, don't follow the 12 steps either but use the SMART method to stay clean (it's kinda similiar to RR but with online meetings) but I still like to hang out with other ppl being sober/clean and hear other perspectives.

Marte

[reveal]

hi there. im new to the forum as well and have been alcohol free for 3 months now. i have had relapses and withdrawals but i am trying hard to keep myself clean. i also have to add that i have been a glue sniffer for many years and slowly i am letting that also fade.
this boards looks like a fun place to be.
glad to be among the crowd