Is it possible to be a social drinker?

[Vodkaddict]

I KNOW why I have a drinking problem. I live with my mother in law with Alzheimers, my son had ADHD, my husband is lazy. When I drink I feel better. I know this is NOT a good way to be but I would love to give up the need for alchohol and resume a normal life which includes occassional social drinking.

I don't want to be where I am now. A 7.5ml bottle of vodka is only good for 2 days (sometimes less!!!) but if I can get that under control I would love to have an occassional beer, wine or mixed drink at a social function.

Any input?

[CarolD]

Hello and Welcome...

For understanding alcoholism...I recommend...

"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"

they are carried by Amazon

I crossed the line from social drinking into alcoholism
and never knew it. I could mever drink again without
problems.

I hope you find your answers...

[Dreamz]

I'm addicted to drugs not alcohol so I'm not expert but maybe you should give yourself a time limit like 30 or 60 days of being sober, then see how you feel about the occasional wine or beer.

Please someone correct me if I'm wrong - like I said I don't know exactly - but I thought I'd try and help......

[felicity]

To use my dad as an example again ...

He was a great "social drinker." Lots of fun, the life of the party. Except, as time went by, the drink never left his hand. It was like he became a cartoon of himself, needing his identifying feature: that drink, in his hand, always.

He wound up in Intensive Care for a year due to his severe alcoholism, and the only doctor that would work on him was a graduate student. That graduate student saved his life. You know what the other doctors did? They said, "Nah, he's an alcoholic. I don't want to waste my time on him. There's other truly SICK people out there that need my help. He'll just go out and drink again."

But thanks to that graduate student, my dad's now happy & sober ... I've seen him drink once, and he becomes obssessed with the drink-- can't get enough of it. Wants more and more and more. One drink is NEVER ENOUGH.

If I were you, I would never drink again. Me, I'm not going to.

[rose petals]

hey
im an alchy and i went thru a fifth or two a day in the end--vomiting--horrible withdrawals, you cant even imagine--trips to er's--icould go on forever --a complete horror story--imo, if you are an alchy, this will happen to in the end--alcoholism is progresive and deadly in the end --ill pray for you
Laura

[bob123]

thats what I would like.. but ive given up for 3 months on 2 occasions now..
and i literally went back to my binger drinking immediately after supping the first pint... for me.. its too risky

[c'est la vie]

I find that I can identify with far too many of the behaviours of dead alcoholics before they got too bad. After taking the time to look at the trend of my drinking and my obsession with the when where what and how of alcohol, I can see where my path is headed if I keep drinking. I've decided not to follow that path to the end.

[NEEDTOBESOBER]

I started out as a social drinker and then it moved to binge drinking and over the years I stopped a couple of times, but in the end I became an alcoholic or shall I say was an alcoholic the whole time but I was in denial. If you are thinking about drinking all the time and obsessed about it, you probably have a problem.

[scootinbabe]

Read "for those who have tried" under the "Alcoholism" forum. Skim through some other forums. Only you know yourself.

I hear you with the family issues...keep coming back.

[leviathon]

Some say they can be social drinkers. I can't. I recall one aa mtg I attended where a fellow swore up and down that he was... then again he was still attending aa...

PEace, Levi

[upanddownjj]

Ditto Levi -

I wonder why anyone who didn't have a problem or potential problem with alcohol would go to an AA meeting or even question it...
I doubt a fortunate "social drinker" would even question it..
Unfortunately - I can't have even one drink - or can I predict where it will lead - ...Janni

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by Vodkaddict

I KNOW why I have a drinking problem. I live with my mother in law with Alzheimers, my son had ADHD, my husband is lazy.

Um... I am an alcoholic because I have the disease of alcoholism. It's in my bio-chemistry and, though it didn't maifest until later in life, I was born that way. Blaming my alcoholism on anything external just delays my inevitable process of recovery.

For me, no - there is no going back. Once a pickle, I can never be a cucumber again.

[Erin]

Hi
I think you have to figure it out for yourself. I crossed the line when I went from not thinking about drinking to drinking almost everyday and planning out how I was going to get alcohol, when I was going to drink etc.

Sounds like you have a lot of stress in your personal life. Are you using alcohol to cope? In the short term (that night) makes you feel better - long term not good.

The one day at a time has worked for me. Also when I quit I couldn't think long term (forever) so I'm stuck with 30 days which has been bumped up to 60 days.

Do you have any supports/healthy escapes aside from alcohol?

[doorknob]

I'm guessing that you're already good and addicted to the booze, and if the original reasons for drinking were taken away, your body will still want it's daily intake.

[Sugah]

"Is it possible to be a social drinker?"

That depends. If you suffer from alcoholism, I believe the answer is no. Some have related that they progressed from social drinking to moderate drinking to heavy drinking to alcoholism. I believe I was born alcoholic and drank alcoholically from my very first drink. How do I know this? Because I know that regardless of how sick I became, regardless of any consequences I had to face as a result of my drinking, I still wanted to drink. I remembered the warm, fuzzy sense of ease drinking provided, and the moment I had one, I immediately wanted another...and another...and another. I could not conceive of why anyone would want to have one or two drinks and then stop. It seemed -- seems! -- senseless to me. I could feel guilt, shame & remorse after an episode of drinking, but once life became too much, too sad, too stressful or too happy, I would magically forget the trouble it brought me and start again.

That is how I determined that I had an alcoholic mind & body -- and I learned it by listening to others who told the same story about their drinking.

If, on the other hand, you can take it or leave it, maybe you're not alcoholic and can be a social drinker. Like others suggested, try to put it down for awhile and see what happens. If you can't, there's help. After trying everything else I could think of, from medicine, psychiatry & religion to a multitude of self-help programs, I finally sought help from Alcoholics Anonymous and a power greater than myself.

Keep in touch. We care.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[NEEDTOBESOBER]

Sugah, I think you are right that you are genetically born with it but you don't figure it out until later in life and it is also heriditary, for myself my son ended up with a drug problem and also liked to drink, my father drank sometimes, but I know my grandfather had to have been an alcoholic, he drank everyday, in bars, at home or at other places, and he drank a lot of beer.

[Vodkaddict]

Originally Posted by doorknob

I'm guessing that you're already good and addicted to the booze, and if the original reasons for drinking were taken away, your body will still want it's daily intake.

I just want to be normal! I have many friend who drink for fun. I do, too but I also drink alone every day because I crave it....

[earlybird]

Originally Posted by Vodkaddict

I just want to be normal! I have many friend who drink for fun. I do, too but I also drink alone every day because I crave it....

I think you answered you original question with this statement. I think if you look really deep inside yourself, you will see that the things you listed as why you drink are really just the excuses you use. Yes,...a lazy husband is stressful. Yes, the mother-in-law with altzheimers is alot to deal with. And yes, the son with ADD is a handful, but, its the WAY you HANDLE these stresses that holds the underlying reasons you drink to alcoholic proportions. Yes, while all these things are stressful, alot of people handle these things and more without drowning them in booze. Blaming others or other things for your drinking is what KEEPS you drinking. By your logic, you are saying that anyone who has these stresses would drink like you do. That is simply not true. Im sorry to tell you what you really already probably know,...but if you are at a point where you are drinking like you do everyday, you have passed that invisible line from normal social drinking into alcoholism. There is no going back in my opinion. Anyone Ive known who has had sobriety for any length of time that has tried to control it has failed miserably. They always start out ok, for like a week or two,...then within a months time they are worse off than before. Any length of recovery ruins your drinking. You just cant seem to go out and drink like you used to without enormous guilt that you have once again let alcohol in to continue the havoc its reaped on you from before.

Most alcoholics who arent completely ready for abstinence flirt with the idea of 'control' for a while until they realize that it cannot be done. And besides,....whats "social" about having to consciously "control" ones drinking??? Where is the enjoyment of obsessive monitoring of intake? Normal social drinkers just dont have to do that. Thats what makes them social drinkers. That very fact alone. Every alcoholic I hear that isnt quite ready always says things like "I havent lost my job or friends or wife or husband or kids or license or home or ...." or whatever. What you must realize is that we ALL, at some point, were able to say that. I never lost my job due to drinking.............until I did. I never got pulled over for DUI....until I did. I never had a girlfriend leave me due to my drinking........until she did. I never lost my drivers license because of drinking....until I did. Do you see where Im going with this? These are "yets". These are things that happen like falling dominos. Once they start, it seems all is going to hell in a hand basket in a short time. Its the downward spiral effect. There more you hold on to this fantasy of one day being able to drink socially,....you will never move on. You may definitely fall back, however. You see, social drinkers dont view their being able to drink socially as a fantasy come true. Its their reality. And it wasnt a struggle to get there for them. Its my opinion, that if someone really wishes they could drink, its probably a good idea that they dont.

[51anna]

Hi Vodkaaddict,

I spent a long time determined to control my drinking and I tried and failed over and over again. It would work briefly for weeks, but the first real 'upset' in my life and it would creep up again to worse than before. Not only that, I was obsessing about alcohol - when would I next drink, how much, etc. It was so freeing to be able to be rid of the obsessive thoughts.

I think your reasons for drinking are excuses, just like mine were. And, the reality is that you and I have to learn to deal with life without self-medicating.

[Chy]

Yes it's possible to be a social drinker unless of course your an alcoholic, can't be both.