I also want to quit drinking. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

German69 · 08-15-2006, 02:09 PM

Hi,
My name is Jana and I'm an alcoholic. I have known this for some years now and I have quit off and on, sometimes for 9 months on time (due to pregnancies). I'm like many others here, a "functioning alcoholic". I have a loving husband and children. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I have a pretty "normal" social life. I'm 37 and generally in good health. However, I know that alcohol is causing me and my family problems. I have a bad temper when I had too much to drink and I pick fights with my husband who also likes to drink. When we go to a pub, we cannot stop drinking until we are drunk (at least 6 pints of beer AFTER drinking all day at home). Hangovers are becoming more frequent again (we started drinking again a month ago) and the extreme anxiety and heart palpitations that come with all of it...
I'm tired of that feeling. I started drinking again when I had a major stressor hit our family (too long to get into). At first, I "only" had 2 beers everytime I had to face the stressor but I am back up to at least a six-pack daily of strong German beers, mostly more.
Obviously, I have proven myself over and over again that I can't drink like a lady. My husband would like to stop as well and always has stopped when I was off the drink.
My dilemma is that I am so darn scared to quit cold turkey but my "maintenance" alcohol is not helping with the quitting part either. The idea was to "cut down" daily and eventually get off it. It's a mental thing for me. Physically, I don't feel dependent on it since I never had a problem just quitting when I became pregnant. I was even able to do it mentally under those circumstances but when I'm not pregnant I don't see a "reason" to be off the drink (I know, I know, there are 1000 reasons). It's not rational at all.
The other part is that beer and wine has always been such a big part of our culture (we are from Ireland and Germany, living in the States) and knowing that we can never drink again is just so hard to grasp. I have hinted to my parents that I am a problem drinker (I didn't admit to alcoholism at that time) but I don't think they believe me because I am able to pull off "moderate drinking" in front of them. My dad is one of the few people who was able to go from all-day-drinking and smoking to 2 beers at night and social drinking without a problem (he quit his dangerous behavior over 35 years ago). So, why can't I do the same, I've asked myself a million times.
Anyway, thank you all for letting me talk about this problem.

**51anna** · 08-15-2006, 02:16 PM

We can't moderate our drinking because we are alcoholics. It's that simple.

I tried cutting back too, thinking it would make it easier to quit and it didn't. I never could keep it up more than a few days and then my consumption would creep up again. And, besides, when I was trying to moderate, all I could think about was drinking.

It may not be safe for you to stop drinking cold turkey. It's always a good idea to check with your dr first. Stopping drinking suddenly can be dangerous at times.

And, you're right about the "mental thing". Stopping drinking is the beginning, but there is a long road ahead of dealing with the emotions you've been hiding from. Don't think about 'forever' because it can be overwhelming. Just focus on what you're doing now.

You can do this and we have lots of support to offer.

Arura · 08-15-2006, 02:21 PM

Welcome Jana, i do think you've found the right place...!

SR, is a fantastic surport network in many area's im sure you and your Hubby can tap into.

Im so glad that you recognise your drinking as a problem, My hopes go with you on this new Journey into Recovery.

Go down to the womans forum n introduce yourself, you will be plesantly suprised, just how many stay at home moms are on here. Helping each other...!

...Only Love...X

***miss communicat*** · 08-15-2006, 02:59 PM

Welcome Jana!

I try not to project too much into the future, by telling myrself that I'll never be able to drink again. It turns into such a mental struggle when I do that, so, for me, it helps to keep it in this day.

Today I will not drink.
Today I will not drink
Today I will not drink

Soon, I find that I have put together a number of todays, and that my perspective on all manner of things is more positive. That "stressor" may not be such a big problem for you once you're free of inner stress. Just a suggestion.

I am so glad to see you here seeking help and information! Stick around.

***miss communicat*** · 08-15-2006, 03:00 PM

and, Arura, I have been meaning to tell you how much I love your avatars! They are precious!

doorknob · 08-15-2006, 03:11 PM

Welcome Jana! You can do it!!

Paul

FallGirl · 08-15-2006, 03:13 PM

Welcome! as stated above - this is a wonderful site for support!
I'm on my 8th day of not drinking. The thought of not drinking ever again scares me too, so I don't think about it - I think about what I am doing today, and only today.
I used to be the total drinking "planner". I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't drink everyday, I would pick my days during the week when it was ok for me (usually 5 or 6 days out of the week) and get blitzed! I thought because I went two days without drinking - I wasn't an alcoholic.
ok, I'm starting to ramble ... but my point is take one day at a time, I know that sounds really cliche - but it works.
You stopped for the health of your babies - now stop for yourself. Alcohol is affecting you now, even if you don't feel symptoms - waking up with heart palpitations and anxiety (exactly what I went through at about 3am every night) is not normal! And it will only get worse!

Take care of yourself - you'll know when it's right - but keep coming back here and let us know how you're doing!

FallGirl

Arura · 08-15-2006, 03:16 PM

Anne Taintor...X shes great a really cool lady...

She just writes, n cuts them on retro pic's...X

We could do our own... but she has loads...! Theres a few amazing women artists out there...X

scootinbabe · 08-15-2006, 03:25 PM

Welcome to SR! Coming here is a great first step! I'm only three weeks into sobriety myself, but have learned a lot in these weeks. Read whatever you can about alcoholism--you'll be surprised by some of the stories you'll read. Keep coming back here. And what an asset to you to have a husband who will support you in your efforts!

Way to go on your decision and hope to see you around here!

**CarolD** · 08-15-2006, 04:06 PM

Glad to see a new member seeking answers..Welcome!

It is a wise move to see your doctor before quitting.

We have a thread with our personal stories in Alcoholism.
Read the top sticky.."Quitting, what to expect"

Blesssings...

08-15-2006, 02:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
German69 Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Baltimore, MD Posts: 47	I also want to quit drinking. Hi, My name is Jana and I'm an alcoholic. I have known this for some years now and I have quit off and on, sometimes for 9 months on time (due to pregnancies). I'm like many others here, a "functioning alcoholic". I have a loving husband and children. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I have a pretty "normal" social life. I'm 37 and generally in good health. However, I know that alcohol is causing me and my family problems. I have a bad temper when I had too much to drink and I pick fights with my husband who also likes to drink. When we go to a pub, we cannot stop drinking until we are drunk (at least 6 pints of beer AFTER drinking all day at home). Hangovers are becoming more frequent again (we started drinking again a month ago) and the extreme anxiety and heart palpitations that come with all of it... I'm tired of that feeling. I started drinking again when I had a major stressor hit our family (too long to get into). At first, I "only" had 2 beers everytime I had to face the stressor but I am back up to at least a six-pack daily of strong German beers, mostly more. Obviously, I have proven myself over and over again that I can't drink like a lady. My husband would like to stop as well and always has stopped when I was off the drink. My dilemma is that I am so darn scared to quit cold turkey but my "maintenance" alcohol is not helping with the quitting part either. The idea was to "cut down" daily and eventually get off it. It's a mental thing for me. Physically, I don't feel dependent on it since I never had a problem just quitting when I became pregnant. I was even able to do it mentally under those circumstances but when I'm not pregnant I don't see a "reason" to be off the drink (I know, I know, there are 1000 reasons). It's not rational at all. The other part is that beer and wine has always been such a big part of our culture (we are from Ireland and Germany, living in the States) and knowing that we can never drink again is just so hard to grasp. I have hinted to my parents that I am a problem drinker (I didn't admit to alcoholism at that time) but I don't think they believe me because I am able to pull off "moderate drinking" in front of them. My dad is one of the few people who was able to go from all-day-drinking and smoking to 2 beers at night and social drinking without a problem (he quit his dangerous behavior over 35 years ago). So, why can't I do the same, I've asked myself a million times. Anyway, thank you all for letting me talk about this problem.

08-15-2006, 02:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,492	We can't moderate our drinking because we are alcoholics. It's that simple. I tried cutting back too, thinking it would make it easier to quit and it didn't. I never could keep it up more than a few days and then my consumption would creep up again. And, besides, when I was trying to moderate, all I could think about was drinking. It may not be safe for you to stop drinking cold turkey. It's always a good idea to check with your dr first. Stopping drinking suddenly can be dangerous at times. And, you're right about the "mental thing". Stopping drinking is the beginning, but there is a long road ahead of dealing with the emotions you've been hiding from. Don't think about 'forever' because it can be overwhelming. Just focus on what you're doing now. You can do this and we have lots of support to offer. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

08-15-2006, 02:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
Arura Trying to do the right thing. Join Date: May 2006 Location: London Posts: 4,354	Welcome Jana, i do think you've found the right place...! SR, is a fantastic surport network in many area's im sure you and your Hubby can tap into. Im so glad that you recognise your drinking as a problem, My hopes go with you on this new Journey into Recovery. Go down to the womans forum n introduce yourself, you will be plesantly suprised, just how many stay at home moms are on here. Helping each other...! ...Only Love...X __________________ Weve come along way and were Changing day by day We DO Recover. We can Recover...!

08-15-2006, 02:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
*miss communicat* sobriety is my yoga Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the present moment Posts: 1,943	Welcome Jana! I try not to project too much into the future, by telling myrself that I'll never be able to drink again. It turns into such a mental struggle when I do that, so, for me, it helps to keep it in this day. Today I will not drink. Today I will not drink Today I will not drink Soon, I find that I have put together a number of todays, and that my perspective on all manner of things is more positive. That "stressor" may not be such a big problem for you once you're free of inner stress. Just a suggestion. I am so glad to see you here seeking help and information! Stick around. __________________ i close my eyes and see clearly i stop trying to listen and hear truth i am silent and my heart sings i seek no contact and find union i am still and move forward i am gentle and need no strength i am humble and remain whole (ancient taoist meditation)

08-15-2006, 03:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
*miss communicat* sobriety is my yoga Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the present moment Posts: 1,943	and, Arura, I have been meaning to tell you how much I love your avatars! They are precious! __________________ i close my eyes and see clearly i stop trying to listen and hear truth i am silent and my heart sings i seek no contact and find union i am still and move forward i am gentle and need no strength i am humble and remain whole (ancient taoist meditation)

08-15-2006, 03:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
doorknob Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 2,854	Welcome Jana! You can do it!! Paul __________________ Faith is believing what you know ain't so - Mark Twain

08-15-2006, 03:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
FallGirl Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Seattle, Washington Posts: 118	Welcome! as stated above - this is a wonderful site for support! I'm on my 8th day of not drinking. The thought of not drinking ever again scares me too, so I don't think about it - I think about what I am doing today, and only today. I used to be the total drinking "planner". I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't drink everyday, I would pick my days during the week when it was ok for me (usually 5 or 6 days out of the week) and get blitzed! I thought because I went two days without drinking - I wasn't an alcoholic. ok, I'm starting to ramble ... but my point is take one day at a time, I know that sounds really cliche - but it works. You stopped for the health of your babies - now stop for yourself. Alcohol is affecting you now, even if you don't feel symptoms - waking up with heart palpitations and anxiety (exactly what I went through at about 3am every night) is not normal! And it will only get worse! Take care of yourself - you'll know when it's right - but keep coming back here and let us know how you're doing! FallGirl

08-15-2006, 03:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
Arura Trying to do the right thing. Join Date: May 2006 Location: London Posts: 4,354	Anne Taintor...X shes great a really cool lady... She just writes, n cuts them on retro pic's...X We could do our own... but she has loads...! Theres a few amazing women artists out there...X __________________ Weve come along way and were Changing day by day We DO Recover. We can Recover...!

08-15-2006, 03:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
scootinbabe Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: road to recovery Posts: 1,680	Welcome to SR! Coming here is a great first step! I'm only three weeks into sobriety myself, but have learned a lot in these weeks. Read whatever you can about alcoholism--you'll be surprised by some of the stories you'll read. Keep coming back here. And what an asset to you to have a husband who will support you in your efforts! Way to go on your decision and hope to see you around here!

08-15-2006, 04:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 16,043	Glad to see a new member seeking answers..Welcome! It is a wise move to see your doctor before quitting. We have a thread with our personal stories in Alcoholism. Read the top sticky.."Quitting, what to expect" Blesssings... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

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