Class of July 2013 Part 47
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,665
Morning Julyers
PJ, sounds like moving was the right thing to do for you with its benefits.
Hi Suze X
Snoozy, I get your contentment, for me, I love the thought if I need to get in my car and go somewhere, I can! Sober! That gives us so much freedom. One act of sobriety with massive benefits.
PJ, sounds like moving was the right thing to do for you with its benefits.
Hi Suze X
Snoozy, I get your contentment, for me, I love the thought if I need to get in my car and go somewhere, I can! Sober! That gives us so much freedom. One act of sobriety with massive benefits.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Wow Mags, thank you. I consider myself good at remembering most of the awesome things about being sober. But I'd forgotten how much just being able to drive my car WHENEVER I WANTED (!!!) blew my mind when I first got sober. I do think of it now when I drive to work early - I wonder how I ever got to work safely some days. But I'd forgotten how totally awesome driving at night was in those early days!
In fact the first few months of getting sober, to keep myself busy at night, I'd drive myself off to the movies every Saturday night and be amazed I could just get into my car afterwards and drive home. It was like getting my licence all over again!
Thank you Mags for prompting a happy memory for me!
In fact the first few months of getting sober, to keep myself busy at night, I'd drive myself off to the movies every Saturday night and be amazed I could just get into my car afterwards and drive home. It was like getting my licence all over again!
Thank you Mags for prompting a happy memory for me!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Being able to go anywhere and do anything is a great freedom that comes with sobriety. Feeling sick all the time and drunk the rest of the day was terrible. Not to mention the fact that my whole digestive system was messed up.
I was often afraid of having to run to the bathroom.
Traveling for my company or airlines was a challenge.
Long road trip were terrible.
Now I do all this and actually enjoy going.
I was often afraid of having to run to the bathroom.
Traveling for my company or airlines was a challenge.
Long road trip were terrible.
Now I do all this and actually enjoy going.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Don't let discouragement drown you. Fight!
Even if you fight and fail, fight and fail, get right up every time and fight again.
Keep posting!
The AV wants you to feel beaten and hopeless.
You're not hopeless! You just haven't gotten your traction yet!
You will. Just refuse to stop fighting.
Even if you fight and fail, fight and fail, get right up every time and fight again.
Keep posting!
The AV wants you to feel beaten and hopeless.
You're not hopeless! You just haven't gotten your traction yet!
You will. Just refuse to stop fighting.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Pete, so glad you posted.xx is there a chance at some kind of rehab for you? It's not to late to reign this in. You can do this. You've done it before.
Can you talk about why you think you drank again?
Lulu. You are not a mess up. Alcohol messes us up. But you, dear lady, are not a mess up. Dear alcohol is one of my favourite threads here, it has something in it for everyone. We've all felt wretched and alone...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/..._________.html
Can you talk about why you think you drank again?
Lulu. You are not a mess up. Alcohol messes us up. But you, dear lady, are not a mess up. Dear alcohol is one of my favourite threads here, it has something in it for everyone. We've all felt wretched and alone...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/..._________.html
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
If im honest i am not sure what made me start again. Like most people i guess its thinking I would have control over it but I dont. I am not as bad as I was all those years ago but im sure it will end up that bad unless I do something about it. I am out of shape and lacking enthusiasm for everything at the moment so I must sort myself out.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Trust me Pete the speed at which you can find yourself at your worst is neck breaking.
Waiting is a luxury you may not have.
grab the reins now while you still have everything you hold dear.
D
Waiting is a luxury you may not have.
grab the reins now while you still have everything you hold dear.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
You have all of us to help you every step of the way LuLu and Pete.
You are both very important to us ~ we all want you to be happy.
Elbow grease, as Dee said: when I was in my darkest place, I made a plan. It helped me. My only job every single day was to follow the plan. Sure, it's not easy, but one foot in front of the other, and before you know it you have a week sober again, and then a month.
You both can do this.
Sending you huge hugs and much love.
And love to all of you.
You are both very important to us ~ we all want you to be happy.
Elbow grease, as Dee said: when I was in my darkest place, I made a plan. It helped me. My only job every single day was to follow the plan. Sure, it's not easy, but one foot in front of the other, and before you know it you have a week sober again, and then a month.
You both can do this.
Sending you huge hugs and much love.
And love to all of you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Yes, it is alluring to think "maybe I can", "maybe I can"...I don't think those thoughts ever completely erase. And we should not even expect them to - really. It's natural for many irrational things to enter our heads from time to time - should I have done x with my life, why did I not do y...but it's the response to it we must always have ready. No. We made the choice not to drink, because things became unbearable.
I did go back again and read my own letter to alcohol...this venture back out drinking in October 2013 nearly ended up with me killing myself - as in suicide. I hated myself and alcohol so much. So when you say you are messing up, Lulu - I certainly felt that way too.
I did go back again and read my own letter to alcohol...this venture back out drinking in October 2013 nearly ended up with me killing myself - as in suicide. I hated myself and alcohol so much. So when you say you are messing up, Lulu - I certainly felt that way too.
Originally Posted by Croissant 
Dear Alcohol,
You know, next time when I'm on my way home and you come sliding up behind me and whisper in my ear, just don't. You told me it would be nice to catch up, that you'd just stay for dinner, nothing bad would happen.
You were gone the next morning, but I couldn't move. I was sick all day and you were nowhere to be found. Again, I lost time because of you. The dishes weren't done, I had to sleep all day...then the worst humiliation, I had to go get some fatty food and ran into someone way hotter than you at the lifts. But I looked like c$&@, no makeup on, daggy clothes, a sad mess, because of you.
Then, you came back again, last night when I was walking home. Even as I crossed the street to see you, I didn't care about Sober Me, my very best friend. Even though I heard her gasp in shock, I turned a deaf ear to her. She has been my very best friend since July. We do fun things and I get so much done when she is around. My clothes are washed, I shower and eat healthy. She even makes sure I get enough sleep. She drives me wherever I want to go, whenever I feel like it. Yes, any time! I turned my back on her to see you.
But, you alcohol....after last night, this morning I am so scared you will want to move in again. You're not even promising me anything now. You just think I'm going to accept this is as good as it gets and there's no use trying to live without you, because you will always be there.
I hate you so much.
I am going to talk to Sober Me about this, you can't just come in, slob around all over the place, make me have the day off work and expect that I am going to want this. I can't want this.
You know, next time when I'm on my way home and you come sliding up behind me and whisper in my ear, just don't. You told me it would be nice to catch up, that you'd just stay for dinner, nothing bad would happen.
You were gone the next morning, but I couldn't move. I was sick all day and you were nowhere to be found. Again, I lost time because of you. The dishes weren't done, I had to sleep all day...then the worst humiliation, I had to go get some fatty food and ran into someone way hotter than you at the lifts. But I looked like c$&@, no makeup on, daggy clothes, a sad mess, because of you.
Then, you came back again, last night when I was walking home. Even as I crossed the street to see you, I didn't care about Sober Me, my very best friend. Even though I heard her gasp in shock, I turned a deaf ear to her. She has been my very best friend since July. We do fun things and I get so much done when she is around. My clothes are washed, I shower and eat healthy. She even makes sure I get enough sleep. She drives me wherever I want to go, whenever I feel like it. Yes, any time! I turned my back on her to see you.
But, you alcohol....after last night, this morning I am so scared you will want to move in again. You're not even promising me anything now. You just think I'm going to accept this is as good as it gets and there's no use trying to live without you, because you will always be there.
I hate you so much.
I am going to talk to Sober Me about this, you can't just come in, slob around all over the place, make me have the day off work and expect that I am going to want this. I can't want this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
That letter is wonderful Crois!
Well, I appreciate that might sound weird ~ but your pain and anger and despair....that horrible place where you are just fighting your head and losing....of God.....how I remember every second of that.
I remember the day I gave in for good, and decided that I would just drink until I died.
That lead to very dark thoughts and no ability to drag myself out of a very deep hole. I am so so lucky to be alive.
We all are.
SO much love dearest Crois.
♥
Well, I appreciate that might sound weird ~ but your pain and anger and despair....that horrible place where you are just fighting your head and losing....of God.....how I remember every second of that.
I remember the day I gave in for good, and decided that I would just drink until I died.
That lead to very dark thoughts and no ability to drag myself out of a very deep hole. I am so so lucky to be alive.
We all are.
SO much love dearest Crois.
♥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi everyone, just getting back in here to say hello to all of you. I, too, have been having some struggles. I go for awhile, happily sober, and then derail. I'm not giving up and I'm still trying to figure out what leads me back to the bottle. Some changes at home definitely needed to happen this time around. Day 6 today and praying I never take another drink again. I read this thread every day and love you all dearly. I'll keep posting if that's ok?
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