Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 10 - Page 22 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 07-17-2017, 04:19 PM   #421 (permalink)
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I use to watch all of the housewives shows, NYC, Orange County, Atlanta, New Jersey, Potomac, Melbourne, Sydney LOL. There were more but I can't remember them haha. Cattiness is a word that described them all down to a tea. Quite amusing to watch. These days I'm obsessed with true crime.
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Old 07-17-2017, 06:03 PM   #422 (permalink)
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True Crime is a staple in our house.

It freaks K out
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Old 07-17-2017, 07:32 PM   #423 (permalink)
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My other half thinks I'm morbid haha. I find it fascinating, serial killers and how their minds work (or don't work) lol.
I do find myself looking over my shoulder on my morning jogs though. Can't wait for summer and daylight in the early morning. Jogging in the dark is a wee bit scary and I don't help the cause by watching shows about kidnapping and murder victims who vanish doing daily tasks.
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Old 07-18-2017, 09:16 PM   #424 (permalink)
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Computer screwed. Sober. Be back.
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Old 07-18-2017, 09:34 PM   #425 (permalink)
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Hope you get it fixed soon Steely

D
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Old 07-18-2017, 11:53 PM   #426 (permalink)
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I hate jogging in the dark Poppy. When I was training for the London marathon I had to do all my training from January - April which are dark months here. I was too scared to listen to my ipod in case anyone snuck up behind me so I ran in the dark in silence for hours. Which wasn't boring at all!!! Luckily it's light here now so running is enjoyable again. I've signed up for a half marathon in October and it's amazing how much quicker I can run now that wine is no longer part of my diet!

Saw my younger sister yesterday. She was stressing out about something she said at the weekend during a night out with friends (she has never been a big drinker and had had 2 glasses of wine when she said the thing she now regrets). Then I saw my older sister and I'm getting seriously concerned about her. We're all quite thin in my family but she looked bloated and ill and kept going on and on about other people's dramas. It's like she wants to make herself involved in other people's dramas. I think she's always been like this but I never noticed before. I was normally the one creating the drama!! Anyway, the point is it doesn't matter how she wants to live her life if she's happy. But she doesn't seem happy to me. Not at all. But how the hell does someone like me speak to someone about their drinking? It's like a cannibal giving advice to a vegan. After meeting up with my sisters I came away thinking, "alcohol is horrible. Doesn't matter whether you drink 2 glasses or 20. It's still horrible."

I hope you get the computer sorted soon Steely. Can't wait to hear from you but in your own time. Love to everyone xxxx
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Old Yesterday, 12:04 AM   #427 (permalink)
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Yeah I find approaching people is a bit of a minefield Kenton - I was never particularly open to criticism of my drinking so there's really no reason why other people should be any different.

I try to send out the steady message that I'm here for non judging support, and I've been taken up on that a few times now.

I know it's hard and I'm sorry you're in that situation.

D
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Old Yesterday, 01:25 AM   #428 (permalink)
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Yeah that is a tough one. I too worry about my mum drinking. She is certainly not anywhere near the level I was but I know this biatch of an addiction is progressive and I don't want her to go through what I have. So I want to talk to her but I stop myself because I fear I am being hypocritical or just hyper sensitive about booze.
Like Dee says, just let your sister know you are there and you 'get it' should she ever want to unload some of her emotions
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Old Yesterday, 01:52 AM   #429 (permalink)
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Kenton - you just completely blew up my imaginary picture of you!

Just didn't have you pegged as a runner (er physically, not emotionally).

I have a brother who admits to being an alchoholic. We don't talk about it a lot, but do some. And he has taken me to treatment a few times. The first time I went to treatment I called to ask him to take me but he couldn't cause he had drank again after 9 months of sobriety! (it is funny looking back).

It's different cause he does know he is alcoholic. But there have been times that mom has tried to figure out what to do and freaked out and I always felt a bit of peace about it. I guess I understood on a gut level that I couldn't really do anything except be the best sister I can be and hope for the best.

He is sober most of the time now. Of course that isn't totally accurate. He smokes pot when he can and is on very heavy pain killers as he has cancer. But without the alcohol he seems to do pretty good. I'm not sure he could really maintain sobriety for lengthy periods as he does now if he wasn't on regular doses of opioids.

I will send metta (loving kindness) to you and your sister tonight.
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Old Yesterday, 02:10 AM   #430 (permalink)
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ok ... here goes nothing....

So ... At the request of my therapist, I am having coffee with my dad every morning ... er I'm suppose to, but didn't yesterday. I talk to him and write a letter at the same time. So far I am just updateing him on where my life is now.

I feel really weird about this. In the past I've never done the recommended "letters to your mom/dad/addiction/whatever.... I always found them quite silly and got nothing real out of it. This time is different. I've thought a lot about how I don't really believe in time. I believe everything is happening at once, but because we cannot handle that much data in this form, we experience it in "time" so we can sort it all... "time is just a human construct to experience data". This being so, then my father is here. The past, present an future are all happening in this moment, we just aren't looking at all of it at once. Hence my reference to seeing people "out of the corner of my eye".

I also wanted to mention that I had some bad aphib last night and had to use the walker for about 5 hours after I woke up for the day at noon. I was just really weak and wobbly. I had also ended up sleeping 14 hours.

K asked me to promise I would call the doctor's office and let them know just in case they need to know. The surgery is scheduled, so I think I will probably just have to bear it for a month.

I'm doing ok. I'm just a bit off. I'm feeling a lot of stuff about not being able to connect with people. It's like I'm going through the motions in a little bubble.

Now as soon as I write that, I realize that isn't really true! I fill like that some of the time and I am feeling that way right now, but it is far from all the time. It is just a feeling that is uncomfortable and comes and goes. Most of the day I just go through a full range of emotions and thoughts. I'm just focused on that feeling right now.

My therapist asked me an interesting question and my answer is a mystery to me...

He asked me why couldn't I let go of the pain (I said it was anger, but he said it sure looked like pain). I told him that my pain is what defines me. It tells me who I am.

That means that without my pain I don't know who I am. My practice tells me that is ok, but obviously I have a problem with it.

Well this was sorta deep sht ... sorry about that. I guess I needed to say this out loud to someone who would probably read it and probably care.

It's 4 am here ... I will do something relaxing and try to sleep again.

Love you all and sorry to be such a wet blanket...
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Old Yesterday, 03:25 AM   #431 (permalink)
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Hi Nands

It think it's ok to learn and to grow and to face old situations and evolve a different way of looking at and dealing with them.

Sometimes I think thats the meaning of life.

Take it slow and steady and know we're here with you

D
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Old Yesterday, 01:07 PM   #432 (permalink)
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Running on empty. Taking iPad to shop today. See you soon. It's not just the charger it's something else as well.

Hope everyone is well. Gotta go as iPad will close.
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Old Yesterday, 02:45 PM   #433 (permalink)
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Thanks Steely (hug) you are missed! (hug)
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Old Yesterday, 11:02 PM   #434 (permalink)
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Hi everyone,

Poppy, I totally get how you feel about your mum. I wonder whether I am just over sensitive about other people's drinking? Like an ex smoker that pretends to choke every time someone lights up. Interestingly I gave up smoking 8 years ago and other people smoking has never bothered me. But alcohol is a much more complex addiction for me so maybe I'm just programmed for red alert whenever I think someone is drinking too much? I don't know. Like you guys say, I'll be there in a non judgmental way for my sister. There may be nothing to worry about.

Ananda, what you wrote about time blew my mind!! So it's like everything has already happened and we're now processing it in minutes, hours, days etc? Wow! That makes grief much more manageable for me and explains why I still have such a strong sense that my dad is still around.

I hope you called the doctor Nands. Hopefully the operation is going to make everything better for you.

I get that you feel your pain defines you Nands. Anything that has been around for a long time naturally becomes part of who we are. I met a woman at the eye hospital who'd been partially sighted all her life. Then she had an operation and got all her sight back. She should be happy right? Wrong. She said she was having terrible trouble adjusting to the new way of life. Being partially blind was part of her identity. She didn't know who she was now she could see. She was having therapy and I've no doubt she will get to a place where she embraces and loves her new way of being but it will take time. We're humans, not robots. We don't just reboot. We hold on to memories and past experiences and we need to work through them so we can grow. I don't think your pain has to define you forever Nands.

Steely, let us know how you're doing when you're able. I think about you often throughout every day.

Kev, how you doing? You must be almost at 9 months now right? I know you are about 2 weeks ahead of me.

I'm doing good. Very busy because my kids break up for the summer holidays tomorrow (friday) so I'm trying to get loads of work done ..... whilst I can!! Really looking forward to having 6 weeks with the munchkins..... no homework, no school runs..... and apparently the UK is about to have a 2 month heat wave!! Perfect. Love to everyone xxxx
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Old Today, 03:34 PM   #435 (permalink)
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Yeah Kenton ... I had a thought today that when it appropreite to let go of the pain, it will leave a space for a great deal of joy and love. I think I'll think of it that way.

I'm not a mom type so I cant think of a worse thing than 6 weeks with the munchkins!

50 years ago today we landed on the moon! I remember. I was 10 an we were in Scotland. I believe it was Inverness and we were at a bed and breakfast or Inn.

My dad and the Innkeeper stayed up to watch and let us kids watch too (as it was daft o'clock there). My mom and the Innkeeper's wife huffed and puffed and rolled their eyes ... but space program always prevails. Dad was real into it as is my son, so we watch all we can. Chris use to set the alarm to get up and see the space shuttle take offs every time! He was born to late to see the Apollo's.

Sigh ... man I miss those times....

but the Ajan this morning talked about how if we thought we were going to kill the world (environmentally). He said we are not near that powerful and the planet will move on with out us and are garbage will become just a thin sliver of it's soil and history. The earth has outlasted whole species of plants and animals and all types of forms and will do so long after us....

(not that he didn't think we should work to help the environment, just saying...)

It kinda puts things in perspective.

I am an ant!
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