Class of July 2015 Part 9
Well, it's a new year and a fresh start. I'm going to try and make 2016 an entirely alcohol-free year. I'm going to instigate a 'check in' with my partner every night wherein I remind myself of the reasons why I don't want to drink. I don't want sobriety falling off my radar like it did several times last year.
Hope you guys are all enjoying your year so far. Looking forward to supporting and being supported in 2016 :-)
Hope you guys are all enjoying your year so far. Looking forward to supporting and being supported in 2016 :-)
Just saw the rest of thread 8: Good on you for your honesty Let, better than letting it eat you up on secrecy.
Fantail the dance was okay. I didn't dance, but did my best to mingle. I didn't really feel comfortable so I left early and spent the last 30 minutes of 2015 doing my thing: riding my bike around neighborhood streets slowly, enjoying the cold air and the fireworks exploding all over town!
I dropped in at the bike shop and kissed my cat, then went home and went to bed
Fantail the dance was okay. I didn't dance, but did my best to mingle. I didn't really feel comfortable so I left early and spent the last 30 minutes of 2015 doing my thing: riding my bike around neighborhood streets slowly, enjoying the cold air and the fireworks exploding all over town!
I dropped in at the bike shop and kissed my cat, then went home and went to bed
Upwards, that sounds like such a wonderful way to pass the very end of the year. I was thinking the other day about how much I miss night riding.
Let, I think it's ok to have a count for drinking and a count for sobriety as separate things. Be careful with it... I smoked pot some my first time around and I don't think it caused my relapse, but I know it was part of it. First warning sign maybe that I was really, really missing alcohol too much. But that said, I think you hitting 6 months alcohol-free is still a big deal even if it's not 6 months totally sober
Toki, glad you liked the video! I love them. And yes it is so true... I really was blissfully single for several years in my late twenties. And yet instead of looking at that and thinking "Oh right, I enjoy being single, this will be a good time of my life too" I let the numbers get into my head.
But, today was the first good day. I don't expect that it's over. But I've seen him exactly twice in the last 7 months, so I've done a good deal of the initial grieving already. Hopefully.
I ran some numbers today and discovered that the cost of renting a car for a month, picked up in Philly and dropped in San Francisco, is exactly the same price as having my stuff shipped back. Which means that if I stay with friends, couchsurf, and camp while traveling, I can take a month-long road trip for only the additional price of gas and food and some of the camping. All together, it adds up to about twice what I pay in rent; and I wont' be paying rent that month as I'll still be subletting.
So we'll see, but right now based on the contract I have right now and the one I'm (hopefully) in the process of closing, I should be able to spend a month working from the road and doing a little reconnecting with myself and my happiness. This prospect has me really excited.
Let, I think it's ok to have a count for drinking and a count for sobriety as separate things. Be careful with it... I smoked pot some my first time around and I don't think it caused my relapse, but I know it was part of it. First warning sign maybe that I was really, really missing alcohol too much. But that said, I think you hitting 6 months alcohol-free is still a big deal even if it's not 6 months totally sober
Toki, glad you liked the video! I love them. And yes it is so true... I really was blissfully single for several years in my late twenties. And yet instead of looking at that and thinking "Oh right, I enjoy being single, this will be a good time of my life too" I let the numbers get into my head.
But, today was the first good day. I don't expect that it's over. But I've seen him exactly twice in the last 7 months, so I've done a good deal of the initial grieving already. Hopefully.
I ran some numbers today and discovered that the cost of renting a car for a month, picked up in Philly and dropped in San Francisco, is exactly the same price as having my stuff shipped back. Which means that if I stay with friends, couchsurf, and camp while traveling, I can take a month-long road trip for only the additional price of gas and food and some of the camping. All together, it adds up to about twice what I pay in rent; and I wont' be paying rent that month as I'll still be subletting.
So we'll see, but right now based on the contract I have right now and the one I'm (hopefully) in the process of closing, I should be able to spend a month working from the road and doing a little reconnecting with myself and my happiness. This prospect has me really excited.
Fantail, a road trip sounds exciting. Maybe just the thing you need. Writing a new chapter.
Glad your back Tooshabby!!
Happy you enjoyed a midnight ride for New Years Upwardspiral!!
I went to AA tonight and met a really cool person. I explained my mulligan. I didnt smoke anything because i quit. I did eat something that had an extra ingredient. He rationalized it as a resentment . I explained normally i am great at going through my halt triggers. But this night i said whatever and did it. I realized i didn't want to start drinking but wanted a mental vacation. Anyway he wants to help me to work to step 5. Its a complete stranger. But its nice to know someone even if its a sponsor. Fellowship and human connection. I wish i had a cat/dog I could bring with. Animals love you as long as you feed them.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
Glad your back Tooshabby!!
Happy you enjoyed a midnight ride for New Years Upwardspiral!!
I went to AA tonight and met a really cool person. I explained my mulligan. I didnt smoke anything because i quit. I did eat something that had an extra ingredient. He rationalized it as a resentment . I explained normally i am great at going through my halt triggers. But this night i said whatever and did it. I realized i didn't want to start drinking but wanted a mental vacation. Anyway he wants to help me to work to step 5. Its a complete stranger. But its nice to know someone even if its a sponsor. Fellowship and human connection. I wish i had a cat/dog I could bring with. Animals love you as long as you feed them.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
Hey folks! Been reading your posts from my deathbed (alright, slight exaggeration!) - glad to see resolve is running strong throughout the class.
Shabbs, you can definitely make this a full year (and so can I!).
Let, fair play for being honest about something you don't think you should have done. Glad you didn't drink, though!
I'm on Day 9 (... I think??, this man flu has made me delusional!). I'd say I'm feeling good but I don't, although again, nothing to do with booze, and for that I'm grateful. There are times I'd have been ill and STILL picked up the bottle. Feeling pleased that I know and acknowledge this and continue to plow on.
Shabbs, you can definitely make this a full year (and so can I!).
Let, fair play for being honest about something you don't think you should have done. Glad you didn't drink, though!
I'm on Day 9 (... I think??, this man flu has made me delusional!). I'd say I'm feeling good but I don't, although again, nothing to do with booze, and for that I'm grateful. There are times I'd have been ill and STILL picked up the bottle. Feeling pleased that I know and acknowledge this and continue to plow on.
I can never remember if I'm allowed to post links - sure Dee can delete if not. Nothing nefarious, just a great article I read in the Guardian the other day, definitely something everyone here can relate to. Certainly reinforced the message for me.
Other people were alcoholics. I just liked a drink ? or so I thought | Lucy Rocca | Opinion | The Guardian
Other people were alcoholics. I just liked a drink ? or so I thought | Lucy Rocca | Opinion | The Guardian
Oooh, a new thread.
let- Just caught up with the posts. Good job on going to the meeting and coming clean so to speak...
Upwards- getting on your bike, kissing the cat, going to bed--beautiful!
fantail- The trip sounds great- good job running those numbers. Now you have something to plan for..(I still have a bee in my bonnet about driving to Memphis..)
Cbf- Hope you feel better. I actually read that Guardian article earlier; it's a good one!
Shabby- I like Shabby 2.0. Verbalizing is good. I'm a talker so sometimes, when I make one of my daily stupid mistakes I say "So much for the New & Improved (toki). Or "And here I am try to be (toki) 2.0". Keeps me laughing at myself. And not drinking.
let- Just caught up with the posts. Good job on going to the meeting and coming clean so to speak...
Upwards- getting on your bike, kissing the cat, going to bed--beautiful!
fantail- The trip sounds great- good job running those numbers. Now you have something to plan for..(I still have a bee in my bonnet about driving to Memphis..)
Cbf- Hope you feel better. I actually read that Guardian article earlier; it's a good one!
Shabby- I like Shabby 2.0. Verbalizing is good. I'm a talker so sometimes, when I make one of my daily stupid mistakes I say "So much for the New & Improved (toki). Or "And here I am try to be (toki) 2.0". Keeps me laughing at myself. And not drinking.
Shabby I like what you said there.
I've been able to laugh at myself some in the past, mainly because I'm so damn independent I can't afford to wallow in my mistakes for too long.
Nowadays, though, I notice the little transgressions and laugh at those too, like when I get mad over something stupid.
I think it's a great trait to be able to release everything, big and small, with a laugh.
Getting upset and holding resentments (including against ourselves) is a dubious luxury that we can't afford, as they say in the big book.
I've been able to laugh at myself some in the past, mainly because I'm so damn independent I can't afford to wallow in my mistakes for too long.
Nowadays, though, I notice the little transgressions and laugh at those too, like when I get mad over something stupid.
I think it's a great trait to be able to release everything, big and small, with a laugh.
Getting upset and holding resentments (including against ourselves) is a dubious luxury that we can't afford, as they say in the big book.
Thanks for that link, cbf :-)
I'm glad you had a good day, fantail. They will come in droves from here on in, I'm picking.
I quit smoking too, let. It's one thing I did manage to put asunder last year.
Hi Upwards and Toki :-) Thanks for your support.
I'm going to keep it real in 2016, guys. No more BS. I think I will do the post when I have a craving thing. I can't just let things slide.
I'm glad you had a good day, fantail. They will come in droves from here on in, I'm picking.
I quit smoking too, let. It's one thing I did manage to put asunder last year.
Hi Upwards and Toki :-) Thanks for your support.
I'm going to keep it real in 2016, guys. No more BS. I think I will do the post when I have a craving thing. I can't just let things slide.
Actually its the 6th but who is counting lol
Between reading the big book, Alan Carrs book, meditation, mindfullness, aa meetings, and occasional exercise. i feel like a different person. I was so wound up with depression and anxiety over events I had no control over. So worried about self preservation being the most important thing. Its funny in AA they minimize the booze factor. I just needed to learn how to live in all honesty. I agree with that. From the pink cloud to the lower depths its been a roller coaster. I dont want to go back to even risk drinking or smoking cigarettes.
Between reading the big book, Alan Carrs book, meditation, mindfullness, aa meetings, and occasional exercise. i feel like a different person. I was so wound up with depression and anxiety over events I had no control over. So worried about self preservation being the most important thing. Its funny in AA they minimize the booze factor. I just needed to learn how to live in all honesty. I agree with that. From the pink cloud to the lower depths its been a roller coaster. I dont want to go back to even risk drinking or smoking cigarettes.
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