Dee74

I've been offline. I hope it went ok Martin?

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SomeSortOfHuman

Just checking to say hi to everyone. Hope you're all doing OK.
How was the appt, Martin?
x

Dee74

hi SSOH

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SeaOfSerenity

thanks ssoh. you too

hope all is well martin

Martin1

Sorry I haven't posted.

I have had three appointments and am having CBT. The counsellor is really nice, I think I have only three more sessions to go but I'm hoping to have more and stay with this counsellor so I'll bring that up next time I'm there.

Still sober, which is the longest I've gone for perhaps well over a decade.

SeaOfSerenity

Hi Martin, glad youre well. all really positive steps!
cbt has been a godsend for me, finding a therapist that makes you feel comfortable is can take a while so its great you've found a nice one

Dee74

Good to hear from you Martin
you too Sea

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HelenofTroy

Martin that's awesome! I'm also sober for the longest I've been in ten years (actually it's been 13 years since I quit for six months - I just looked it up lol). I have the occasional fleeting craving but mostly I have embraced this new lifestyle. I hope it's working out that way for you as well.

Hi SOS and Dee

Martin1

Around now is usually a bit of a tough time, as in the summer who doesn't like a drink in the evening? But I've been OK. Still no drink at all this year.

Some good news I think too, that I found an ear specialist in the UK, he is meant to be really good, I contacted them and they do treat patients on the NHS (as well as private) and have said that I just need a referral from my GP. My GP will refer me I'm sure, this surgery is only covered by the NHS if you can prove it's having a psychological effect on your life which my GP will know it is. So I'm going to try and stay calm over the weekend and then go to the GP in the week. Only problem is it's in London but that's a minor thing I think.

I think I've been out about half the days over the past two weeks, been to my sister's flat, helped moving a fridge and other furniture, set up a new bank account (involved going into the bank without a hat), been attending all my CBT sessions too. The counsellor says I'm doing really well. Been going out for walks in shorts as well got a little tan on my legs now.

Trying to enjoy the moments when I'm not panicking and can relax and right this second I feel OK.

How is everyone else?

HelenofTroy

Martin that is great news! I'm so happy for you that you've found a specialist that it sounds like you will be able to work with. Yay for tanned legs! lol It does feel good to be outside.

I've been spending quite a bit of time outside working on my vegetable garden and my lawn and soaking up some vitamin D, and playing inside in my sewing room when it's been rainy.

Martin1

You got anything good growing? Planted a scotch bonnet plant today, and have lots of herbs growing too. Been picking cherries off the cherry tree and the pears are doing well as well.

Growing your own food is underrated, it's a great feeling when you get something from it.

Dee74

Great to hear from both you guys - this new guy sounds encouraging Martin

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HelenofTroy

Martin I'm not a very good gardener but I try every year lol. You are right - it is a great feeling! I've got tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers, some herbs and zucchini planted. And lettuce. Lettuce is the one crop I can always count on lol No fruit trees though.

tekink

I hope everyone's doing well, it's been a long time since I've checked in here.

I fell off for one day back in november, went until mid january and fell off for a bit over 3 weeks. Haven't drank since feburary 9th now so it's been a while this run. I don't have any craving to drink anymore, I just feel defeted by the whole thing.

It doesn't really make it any easier, the brain fog and emotional whirlwind is still extreeme. I feel like life is playing some kind of cruel joke on me given my profession. I own and run a wine bar, my wife is finally understanding that I really can't spend any time here if there isn't actual work to do. It just gives me a headache. I'm going to try and catch up on a few pages of posts.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back tekink.
That is a rough profession to be in, but with a good plan great support and the desire to change I really believe we can do anything.

Are you doing anything for your recovery besides SR?

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tekink

Currently I'm just hiding from the world, I have a hard time dealing with that place right now.

I did find that there's a place less than two miles from my door that has meatings 6x a day every day of the week. I'm planing on stopping in there on my day off tomorrow.

The idea of meetings kind of stresses me out a bit, I work so much right now and work stresses me so much that I really just want to be at home.

Feeling sorry for myself for putting myself in this place probly isn't very helpful but the emotional roller coaster I'm on tends to cause those feelings.

tekink

I'm gearing up for an extra hard week, today is day number 2 of that week. Our business is a family business and my sister-in-law also helps out, she tends to watch the bar a few of the busier evenings. Luckily we're more of a classy place and we close at 10pm/12am weekends so it's not to late.

My in-laws went out of town for the fourth and took my mother in law. My father-in-law has dementia so she doesn't really get a break from caring for him. My wife is spending the week with her dad and that leaves me to watch the business myself with no means to escape.

Typically watching over the place is the kind of thing I would do with a drink in my hand. It's really easy to spend the day at a bar when you're drinking as I'm sure most of us know.

I started reading the big book in my downtime. Got through the prefaces and the first few chapters yesterday.

Because we are doing this when the in-laws get back their sending me and my wife to the beach for a while. Unfortuantly for me the reward feels more like punishment. At home I have hobbies to tie myself up in. I'm actually never board if I'm stuck around the house.

140 days sober though!

Dee74

You can absolutely so this tekink

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SomeSortOfHuman

Hi all!

Just checking in, as I haven't posted for ages. Hope you're all doing well.

Really pleased to hear that you've found a good CBT practitioner, Martin - and it sounds like you're taking positive steps in lots of ways!

x

tekink

I'm sure I can, it just won't be plesent.

Yesterday wasn't bad once the night came, we ended up pretty busy and short handed so I had enough work to do to keep my hands full and it was necessary to be there.

I'm also finding that the fact this is helping other people in my family makes it easier to go through it.