Class of August 2014 Part 23
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'm sorry determined - by the time I read your post, you seemed to have righted yourself.....
I think the thing is to start back at the beginning. Review the plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Get rid of any booze. Commit to a day one...follow that with a day 2.
Maybe post in the November thread as well - it's only just started?
D
I think the thing is to start back at the beginning. Review the plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Get rid of any booze. Commit to a day one...follow that with a day 2.
Maybe post in the November thread as well - it's only just started?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Hey Man!
I'm sorry to hear what happened Determined.
I don't have much to offer except unconditional support and the absolute confidence that you can remain sober. With your many inspirational quotes you surely realize that failure is an event, not a person.
Here are some advantages:
1. You know how to do this (2+ years).
2. You know (as least generally) what happened.
My advice is to revisit why you began the journey and pull out your learnings and strengths along the way. None of that is gone and you are clearly prepared to continue this epic quest.
You mentioned you 'can't seem to stop'. Can you give me some more perspective on that?
I'm sorry to hear what happened Determined.
I don't have much to offer except unconditional support and the absolute confidence that you can remain sober. With your many inspirational quotes you surely realize that failure is an event, not a person.
Here are some advantages:
1. You know how to do this (2+ years).
2. You know (as least generally) what happened.
My advice is to revisit why you began the journey and pull out your learnings and strengths along the way. None of that is gone and you are clearly prepared to continue this epic quest.
You mentioned you 'can't seem to stop'. Can you give me some more perspective on that?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
You've been here before- without the benefit of knowing you can beat this thing.
You have a powerful mind. Get a handle on what happened, frame your journey positively and correctly, and move forward with the confidence you deserve.
You have a powerful mind. Get a handle on what happened, frame your journey positively and correctly, and move forward with the confidence you deserve.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'd like to suggest that you actually don't have to work out what triggered this right now determined...
Get yourself together, get your recovery secure again, and you'll be in a far better place mentally and physically to look at what happened and why
D
Get yourself together, get your recovery secure again, and you'll be in a far better place mentally and physically to look at what happened and why
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Determined, the biggest hugs in the world to you at this very moment my love, I am so so sorry you are struggling and that you are hurting and wish I could the your pain and make it better.
You have this, you can do this. You have pulled me out of some deep dark places and I kniw you can do this but you have to be real strong and push past the craving that your body will scream for. Mind over matter determined, never give up.
Read through some of your amazing inspirational quotes, look into your soul and find peace and karma. Do not give up hope. Do not give up!
You are loved, appreciated and admired. You are strong and you are in control. You need to choose the right path.
Lots of love to you - how can I help? Xxxx
You have this, you can do this. You have pulled me out of some deep dark places and I kniw you can do this but you have to be real strong and push past the craving that your body will scream for. Mind over matter determined, never give up.
Read through some of your amazing inspirational quotes, look into your soul and find peace and karma. Do not give up hope. Do not give up!
You are loved, appreciated and admired. You are strong and you are in control. You need to choose the right path.
Lots of love to you - how can I help? Xxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Determined- I was sober for 5 years and picked up one day. We are always one choice away. Please remember that you are sober today, and that all of the work you have done is the work that will carry you through everyday. Nothing is lost. The sober life you have built is the wonderful life you have! Just stay with it. Keep going.
Glad you posted, and we are all here for you with open arms and lots of love!
Glad you posted, and we are all here for you with open arms and lots of love!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Wow, you guys are simply awesome. You have helped me get through this absolutely dreadful day. Being at work while feeling physically and emotionally defeated was a nightmare. This has frightened me to the core, and I now have to fight through the next week while the spinning crazy thoughts happen. So thankful to have each of you, others cannot even grasp what this feels like. This beast never rests. Boy do I get that now. Hugs to you all. Eye back on the prize.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Boy did last night bring back awful memories! Sweats, anxiety, strange dreams... Learn from my mistake guys, this sucks and you are missing nothing. Strangely, those moderating thoughts pop in here and there, not falling for it by any stretch though. I think I need to stay super focused and get some days under my belt again. Onward and upward.
One thing I was thinking about. My wife still drinks and over the weekend she said she liked having crazy guy back. I think perhaps that pushed me a little to try and be the guy I was years ago. Perhaps that had been building up. But, I know I am not that guy anymore. I don't want to be. She and I will have to take our own paths. Elvis has left the building on that issue so to speak.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship." Alcott.
One thing I was thinking about. My wife still drinks and over the weekend she said she liked having crazy guy back. I think perhaps that pushed me a little to try and be the guy I was years ago. Perhaps that had been building up. But, I know I am not that guy anymore. I don't want to be. She and I will have to take our own paths. Elvis has left the building on that issue so to speak.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship." Alcott.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Determined. ......BEST QUOTE EVER!
You know how to sail, you just got stuck in one heck of a storm, now push through! You can do this.
How you feeling today? Stick with us, post often.
I think recognising your trigger is so important, and I think you need to be open and honest with your wife.
We can't moderate sweetheart, it's not who we are, we don't get that luxury, we are all or nothing. You are so brave and I'm so glad you came here and opened your heart, we are all here for you xx
You have the power to say, "this is not how my story ends" love to you x
You know how to sail, you just got stuck in one heck of a storm, now push through! You can do this.
How you feeling today? Stick with us, post often.
I think recognising your trigger is so important, and I think you need to be open and honest with your wife.
We can't moderate sweetheart, it's not who we are, we don't get that luxury, we are all or nothing. You are so brave and I'm so glad you came here and opened your heart, we are all here for you xx
You have the power to say, "this is not how my story ends" love to you x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Life is a process of growth, exploration, and evolution- especially for someone as spiritual as you Determined.
"Crazy Guy" is not going to bring you closer to your ideal self nor be the father your children are proud to remember.
I've been trading messages w/ someone for about a year who is still holding tightly to the hope of moderation. He's framing the argument between the choices 'moderation' or 'drunk.'
We- on the other side (including you)- recognize the real choice is between being alcohol-free and out of control.
Stay strong.
"Crazy Guy" is not going to bring you closer to your ideal self nor be the father your children are proud to remember.
I've been trading messages w/ someone for about a year who is still holding tightly to the hope of moderation. He's framing the argument between the choices 'moderation' or 'drunk.'
We- on the other side (including you)- recognize the real choice is between being alcohol-free and out of control.
Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Guys, your posts absolutely made my day! So much truth in both of them. This has been consuming my mind and it is a life line to read advice and support from you. I am already freaking out about getting through the weekend now that the door was opened, but I am determined, no pun intended! I will be leaning on you for a little while guys.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
That's the purpose of a Team determined.
The fact is- you are not the "crazy guy" anymore. And, a couple of days over the last two years will not redefine you.
While well meaning, I've never been a fan of the term "AV". I think is sometimes gives unnecessary power by attributing one's inner conflict to a separate entity.
One who loses the argument with the "AV", in reality, loses the argument with themselves.
This weekend you'll face the choice to move closer, or further, from your ideal self.
And you know what's awesome? You have the choice. The past is part of who we are, but does not define us nor should we give it undue power.
I'll leave you with the thoughts of motivator Zig Ziglar relative to choice and accountability:
Ziglar: You Have the Power to Dramatically Improve Your Life
But the most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won't work—if you won't.
Zig Ziglar January 19, 2016
The choice is yours.
Question: Do you believe there is something you can specifically do in the next seven days that would make your personal, family and business life worse?
Chances are good you did a double take on that one and rhetorically responded, "What does he mean, make it worse?"
OK, next question: Do you honestly believe there is something you can do in the next seven days that would make your personal, family and business life better?
Chances are astronomical that you answered "yes" to that one.
With that in mind, let me pause for a moment and ask this: Do you believe the choice is yours, and do you believe that every choice has an end result?
Now, let's think it through as I make the observation that if you were serious with your answers, you just made a profound statement.
Here's what you said: "I don't care how good or bad my past has been, I don't care how good or bad my circumstances are at this moment. There is something I can specifically do right now that will make my future either better or worse, and the choice is mine."
That thought is truly profound. Think about it. You can do something about your future. To dramatically improve your odds at making it better, you must accept that responsibility.
Two-time Pulitzer-prize winning historian Barbara Tuchman said that America's No. 1 need is people who accept responsibilities.
So make the right choice; take action on that choice; keep your thinking sound and persist, persist, persist—because if you do, I will enthusiastically say I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
The fact is- you are not the "crazy guy" anymore. And, a couple of days over the last two years will not redefine you.
While well meaning, I've never been a fan of the term "AV". I think is sometimes gives unnecessary power by attributing one's inner conflict to a separate entity.
One who loses the argument with the "AV", in reality, loses the argument with themselves.
This weekend you'll face the choice to move closer, or further, from your ideal self.
And you know what's awesome? You have the choice. The past is part of who we are, but does not define us nor should we give it undue power.
I'll leave you with the thoughts of motivator Zig Ziglar relative to choice and accountability:
Ziglar: You Have the Power to Dramatically Improve Your Life
But the most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won't work—if you won't.
Zig Ziglar January 19, 2016
The choice is yours.
Question: Do you believe there is something you can specifically do in the next seven days that would make your personal, family and business life worse?
Chances are good you did a double take on that one and rhetorically responded, "What does he mean, make it worse?"
OK, next question: Do you honestly believe there is something you can do in the next seven days that would make your personal, family and business life better?
Chances are astronomical that you answered "yes" to that one.
With that in mind, let me pause for a moment and ask this: Do you believe the choice is yours, and do you believe that every choice has an end result?
Now, let's think it through as I make the observation that if you were serious with your answers, you just made a profound statement.
Here's what you said: "I don't care how good or bad my past has been, I don't care how good or bad my circumstances are at this moment. There is something I can specifically do right now that will make my future either better or worse, and the choice is mine."
That thought is truly profound. Think about it. You can do something about your future. To dramatically improve your odds at making it better, you must accept that responsibility.
Two-time Pulitzer-prize winning historian Barbara Tuchman said that America's No. 1 need is people who accept responsibilities.
So make the right choice; take action on that choice; keep your thinking sound and persist, persist, persist—because if you do, I will enthusiastically say I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
You got this! Every day is a massive victory determined, keep pushing through, keep strong keep focused, you know you can do this and many times you showed me the way. I need you as much as you need me, keep the faith. Well done for getting through today my love , real proud of you x
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