Class of April 2015 Part 7
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi, All. Winding down tonight. Had a relaxing day without the AV 
Made chicken mole for dinner (first time and turned out pretty good) and then splurged and went to get frozen yogurt. It was beautiful out at dusk - cool, but not too cold, and clear. You could see Jupiter and Venus above all the city lights. I felt very grateful for the strength to remain sober this weekend. Another one in the books!
Made chicken mole for dinner (first time and turned out pretty good) and then splurged and went to get frozen yogurt. It was beautiful out at dusk - cool, but not too cold, and clear. You could see Jupiter and Venus above all the city lights. I felt very grateful for the strength to remain sober this weekend. Another one in the books!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Ahoy there! This is today's log from Starship Sobriety....
This weekend, as I previously tried to post, was a long planned event of potentially intergalactic proportions and I am pleased to report that I navigated the SS safely through many challenges. Nearly got caught a couple of times by unexpected incoming missiles but turned on my shield and got through at warp speed, covering a great many miles through some dark places.
As I returned from my travels I was able to congratulate myself on my piloting skills. This was not a team effort although my co-pilot in life was unexpectedly there to back me up.
Ok maybe that's enough of a captain's log for one day but hopefully you'll get the point - it was a good, successful weekend, with the usual challenges actually coming at unusual points. As you'll gather from my tone it is now with a great sense of relief that I happily write this post because everything turned out incredibly well, where I some time ago could never have imagined making it through that weekend without a drink.
So, feeling generally good and it's great to see we're all getting through. Don't get me wrong, there's a million things in my life I still need to fix, if I can, but one day at a time and I'm fixing them slowly.
So tomorrow I'll just fire up Starship Sobriety all over again.
Best wishes to all who read and post
OMD
Ps welcome back SCF
This weekend, as I previously tried to post, was a long planned event of potentially intergalactic proportions and I am pleased to report that I navigated the SS safely through many challenges. Nearly got caught a couple of times by unexpected incoming missiles but turned on my shield and got through at warp speed, covering a great many miles through some dark places.
As I returned from my travels I was able to congratulate myself on my piloting skills. This was not a team effort although my co-pilot in life was unexpectedly there to back me up.
Ok maybe that's enough of a captain's log for one day but hopefully you'll get the point - it was a good, successful weekend, with the usual challenges actually coming at unusual points. As you'll gather from my tone it is now with a great sense of relief that I happily write this post because everything turned out incredibly well, where I some time ago could never have imagined making it through that weekend without a drink.
So, feeling generally good and it's great to see we're all getting through. Don't get me wrong, there's a million things in my life I still need to fix, if I can, but one day at a time and I'm fixing them slowly.
So tomorrow I'll just fire up Starship Sobriety all over again.
Best wishes to all who read and post
OMD
Ps welcome back SCF
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Lol OMD!!!
If you will allow me to get in on the analogy, I'd just like to say that while at times, I wish I could just beam up back to the booze-ship Enterprise and be done with this alien exploration, for now I plan to keep my feet on the ground. Planet Sobriety is beginning to feel like home!
If you will allow me to get in on the analogy, I'd just like to say that while at times, I wish I could just beam up back to the booze-ship Enterprise and be done with this alien exploration, for now I plan to keep my feet on the ground. Planet Sobriety is beginning to feel like home!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Well I caved.
I was faced with an opportunity to buy Pot and did it. Actually, I bought on Friday. I used over the weekend and today. I tossed it all away Saturday night into a trash can at a car wash. Sunday morning, I dug through the trash and recovered it.
Smoked Sunday. Anxiety and depression had set it pretty bad. I was not happy with myself at all, yet I could not stop. Today I destroyed the pot so there's no more digging in the trash for recovery :/
I didn't drink, but I didn't stay "sober" either. I'm looking at this as a relapse but I'm not changing my alcohol date.
Although I am disappointed in myself, I am relieved that I didn't stay on that ride all the way to its end. I regained control today and already feel better. Huge sigh of relief. I almost got sucked right into a never ending downward spiral of failure.
I really don't have much to say right now. I just had to get this off my chest.
I was faced with an opportunity to buy Pot and did it. Actually, I bought on Friday. I used over the weekend and today. I tossed it all away Saturday night into a trash can at a car wash. Sunday morning, I dug through the trash and recovered it.
Smoked Sunday. Anxiety and depression had set it pretty bad. I was not happy with myself at all, yet I could not stop. Today I destroyed the pot so there's no more digging in the trash for recovery :/
I didn't drink, but I didn't stay "sober" either. I'm looking at this as a relapse but I'm not changing my alcohol date.
Although I am disappointed in myself, I am relieved that I didn't stay on that ride all the way to its end. I regained control today and already feel better. Huge sigh of relief. I almost got sucked right into a never ending downward spiral of failure.
I really don't have much to say right now. I just had to get this off my chest.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Incontrol, I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you stay close to SR. We are here for you.
I'm doing ok. I slept 4 hours last night because I had a diet coke before bed. Yeah, not smart. However, I think (hope) that I'll catch up on sleep tonight. In my four hours of sleep, I had a dream that I was drinking wine. Not cool. Was glad to wake up from that. No strong urges since Friday and I'm grateful for that. After layoff talks a few weeks ago, the work has tripled and I worked overtime today and will again on tomorrow. Grateful for the extra money. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm about to hit the sack early. Goodnight.
I'm doing ok. I slept 4 hours last night because I had a diet coke before bed. Yeah, not smart. However, I think (hope) that I'll catch up on sleep tonight. In my four hours of sleep, I had a dream that I was drinking wine. Not cool. Was glad to wake up from that. No strong urges since Friday and I'm grateful for that. After layoff talks a few weeks ago, the work has tripled and I worked overtime today and will again on tomorrow. Grateful for the extra money. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm about to hit the sack early. Goodnight.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Incontrol, I'm glad you are back. It will be okay. Don't beat yourself up for it - we are all human and you should be proud of yourself for cutting it off when you did. Was there a particular event that triggered it? When I was craving pretty badly over the last few days the thought went through my mind a few times that the cravings might not ever go away until I gave into them (which wasn't true - no cravings today). What I'm trying to say is that staying sober can be extremely hard sometimes. I'm just glad you are back. We are all here for you!
OMD and Amp, love where you guys took that analogy! Had me laughing
OMD and Amp, love where you guys took that analogy! Had me laughing
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Originally Posted by Incontrol15 
Well I caved.
I was faced with an opportunity to buy Pot and did it. Actually, I bought on Friday. I used over the weekend and today. I tossed it all away Saturday night into a trash can at a car wash. Sunday morning, I dug through the trash and recovered it.
Smoked Sunday. Anxiety and depression had set it pretty bad. I was not happy with myself at all, yet I could not stop. Today I destroyed the pot so there's no more digging in the trash for recovery :/
I didn't drink, but I didn't stay "sober" either. I'm looking at this as a relapse but I'm not changing my alcohol date.
Although I am disappointed in myself, I am relieved that I didn't stay on that ride all the way to its end. I regained control today and already feel better. Huge sigh of relief. I almost got sucked right into a never ending downward spiral of failure.
I really don't have much to say right now. I just had to get this off my chest.
I was faced with an opportunity to buy Pot and did it. Actually, I bought on Friday. I used over the weekend and today. I tossed it all away Saturday night into a trash can at a car wash. Sunday morning, I dug through the trash and recovered it.
Smoked Sunday. Anxiety and depression had set it pretty bad. I was not happy with myself at all, yet I could not stop. Today I destroyed the pot so there's no more digging in the trash for recovery :/
I didn't drink, but I didn't stay "sober" either. I'm looking at this as a relapse but I'm not changing my alcohol date.
Although I am disappointed in myself, I am relieved that I didn't stay on that ride all the way to its end. I regained control today and already feel better. Huge sigh of relief. I almost got sucked right into a never ending downward spiral of failure.
I really don't have much to say right now. I just had to get this off my chest.
Hey, Inc! So glad you made it back and that you're OK.
There's a quirky element to this disease that we carry. To an extent we are the architects of our own destruction as only we choose to take that first drink or roll that first joint. It gives the illusion of being "in control". Some days the weight can be almost unbearable. Most of us have spent years dealing with guilt and sweeping the evidence of our failings under the rug again and again. How did we deal with it? Getting loaded again, of course. Classic vicious circle. Well done, Inc for not letting the circle, or more accurately, downward spiral, take control this time.
Now's the moment to analyse those triggers that set you off and prepare a strategy for future situations. This type of experience is bound to make you stronger if you are able to get back on board quickly. Stay close to SR and remind yourself daily why you made your commitment to sobriety and why it is your number one priority on any given day.
Recently I have noticed you slipping away from SR and have been a little worried. For me you have always been such a key member of our group and your comments and insights have often been an invaluable part of my own journey. It wouldn't be April without you!
Stay safe and strong, friend!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All. Just had a thought that I wanted to jot down here. I remember when I was trying to quit how hard it seemed because there were activities that I always drank at or associated alcohol with that I never thought I would be able to do sober. Most of these were leisure activities, like cooking dinner, Friday night (celebrating the wknd), dinner out at restaurants, etc. my AV had me convinced that I could never do these things without alcohol and have fun or relax. Now I know better. I do all those things and more without alcohol and still manage to relax and have fun (even more than when I was drinking). Just a random thought for the morning - yes, I'm a little bored at work .
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Man o man. Am I glad I dumped the weed. Unbelievable that I jumped on the chance to buy when presented.
Feeling good today...well emotionally anyway. Physically, I have sweats and rapid heartbeat. Feels almost like acute alcohol WD's.
Feeling good today...well emotionally anyway. Physically, I have sweats and rapid heartbeat. Feels almost like acute alcohol WD's.
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