One Year & Over Part 27
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Hi everyone
I am in the middle of a quiet winter holiday. I have enjoyed spending time with a good friend.
My kids are both going well, growing up fast
Not much has changed with hubby and I. Just plodding along. We are generally getting on better.
We went to a 4th of July trivia night last night ... we cheated .. we took an American friend .. he was good for at least 2 questions each round ... i won some American chocolate .... I learnt there are 13 stripes on the Amrican Flag ... and i now know how many dots there are on the game of pacman.. i was addicted to it as a teen
I have enjoyed my first season oF hockey ... we are over halfway through the season ... learning a new sport at 45 (my belly button birthday was last week) has been an interesting .. almost a humbling experience.
It is just over a month till my 3rd sober anniversary ... iIam planning on running (truth be told walking /jogging) a 14km fun run that weekend .... nope i am not training (apart from a 30 minute daily walk of my dog)
I still lack the courage to make changes in the marriage ... but reading the Family and Friends forums on SR really helps... i am confident i will act eventually .. i did talk to huby in November about how unhappy I was with the relationship (that was a very hard conversation) ... i must admit things have improved since then .. he is still a tool when he drinks (like last night) ... but anyways .. i know i need a follow conversation with him ... just waiting for the right time (kids on holidays makes it hard) ..
I am trying to establish stronger friendships ... i tend to sabotage such relationships .. but I am learning
I am enjoying church. and I have 1 more week off work .. no real plans.
Take care all
J
I am in the middle of a quiet winter holiday. I have enjoyed spending time with a good friend.
My kids are both going well, growing up fast
Not much has changed with hubby and I. Just plodding along. We are generally getting on better.
We went to a 4th of July trivia night last night ... we cheated .. we took an American friend .. he was good for at least 2 questions each round ... i won some American chocolate .... I learnt there are 13 stripes on the Amrican Flag ... and i now know how many dots there are on the game of pacman.. i was addicted to it as a teen
I have enjoyed my first season oF hockey ... we are over halfway through the season ... learning a new sport at 45 (my belly button birthday was last week) has been an interesting .. almost a humbling experience.
It is just over a month till my 3rd sober anniversary ... iIam planning on running (truth be told walking /jogging) a 14km fun run that weekend .... nope i am not training (apart from a 30 minute daily walk of my dog)
I still lack the courage to make changes in the marriage ... but reading the Family and Friends forums on SR really helps... i am confident i will act eventually .. i did talk to huby in November about how unhappy I was with the relationship (that was a very hard conversation) ... i must admit things have improved since then .. he is still a tool when he drinks (like last night) ... but anyways .. i know i need a follow conversation with him ... just waiting for the right time (kids on holidays makes it hard) ..
I am trying to establish stronger friendships ... i tend to sabotage such relationships .. but I am learning
I am enjoying church. and I have 1 more week off work .. no real plans.Take care all
J
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Good stuff Itch glad your infection has cleared up and your just waiting on the tube to fall out, i hear you about the humidity last night was awful where i was 95%, tonight its 62% humidity & currently 18° i dont think i could handle Louisiana's humidity
Had my 3rd day of washing my own hair still nervous and careful so far so good
Goodnight Overs
Had my 3rd day of washing my own hair still nervous and careful so far so good
Goodnight Overs
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
LSC,
We're getting on better too. I hear ya. Belated
And congrats on your upcoming sobriety milestone.
Wolf,
We have A/C here so we can escape to inside where it's dry and cool. So sleeping is no ordeal like you've got going at night. I' am glad you're slowly working through your recovery.
Dee,
It sure is nice to have you here. Folks forget you're one of us too. Remember just about five years ago when you couldn't believe many of us would hang much longer than a year? Then Least you and a few old dogs started this up. I wonder about some of the folks who seem to have just relapsed alone and never came back.
We're getting on better too. I hear ya. Belated
And congrats on your upcoming sobriety milestone.
Wolf,
We have A/C here so we can escape to inside where it's dry and cool. So sleeping is no ordeal like you've got going at night. I' am glad you're slowly working through your recovery.
Dee,
It sure is nice to have you here. Folks forget you're one of us too. Remember just about five years ago when you couldn't believe many of us would hang much longer than a year? Then Least you and a few old dogs started this up. I wonder about some of the folks who seem to have just relapsed alone and never came back.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,632
Morning overs.
Dee, itchy, it's nice there's history with you on SR, makes us newish ones feel homely and 'secure'.
Drake, my tomatoes are flowering but No tomatoes yet, but, and yes this is an excuse, the poor plants are open to the elements, so have been battered a bit, should get myself a greenhouse when we get the garden sorted!
LSC congratulations on your upcoming 3 years, brilliant.
. Relationships aren't easy, since I've been sober, I've had, like most, to work on me a lot. It's not easy if you've got a drinker to contend with. I don't know if it's just me but I find I can't tolerate people if they're drunk! How I've changed! They were my bestest friends once, or so I thought! Devil cast his net and all that!
I've found I'm becoming more mindful , I think that's the new buzz word at the moment. Living In the moment , not looking or thinking or my favourite, analysing.
I've found I am calmer, now, which is good after brain confusion a couple of weeks ago!
Oh, LSC, you've reminded me, when you said you cheated at the quiz, of when I cheated at a history test at school when I was about 12! I was rubbish at names but great at numbers so I made a table where all the kings and queens had numbers mixed in with dates of birth death etc. thing is, it was a masterpiece! , I f I can say so myself, it would've been so much easier to revise the normal way but it was much more interesting, but no! I can't remember any of it now! Oh, yeah, I passed, top of the class, not deserved for history, but definitely deserved for the maths!
On the minus side, it did put me on the road to be a good deceiver and planner when hiding booze. Oh, that's what i do now, service planner,/administrator.Oh, how I wish I had never tasted alcohol. Anyways, that's behind me.
Apologies for the rambling, it's my age, mwwaaaah, I can blame that for everything!
Gotta Go and wash this stuff off my hair. I've got a colour stripper to take all the false colour build up out of my hair, so may get a shock if I'm all grey!
See ya later.
Dee, itchy, it's nice there's history with you on SR, makes us newish ones feel homely and 'secure'.
Drake, my tomatoes are flowering but No tomatoes yet, but, and yes this is an excuse, the poor plants are open to the elements, so have been battered a bit, should get myself a greenhouse when we get the garden sorted!
LSC congratulations on your upcoming 3 years, brilliant.
. Relationships aren't easy, since I've been sober, I've had, like most, to work on me a lot. It's not easy if you've got a drinker to contend with. I don't know if it's just me but I find I can't tolerate people if they're drunk! How I've changed! They were my bestest friends once, or so I thought! Devil cast his net and all that!I've found I'm becoming more mindful , I think that's the new buzz word at the moment. Living In the moment , not looking or thinking or my favourite, analysing.
I've found I am calmer, now, which is good after brain confusion a couple of weeks ago!
Oh, LSC, you've reminded me, when you said you cheated at the quiz, of when I cheated at a history test at school when I was about 12! I was rubbish at names but great at numbers so I made a table where all the kings and queens had numbers mixed in with dates of birth death etc. thing is, it was a masterpiece! , I f I can say so myself, it would've been so much easier to revise the normal way but it was much more interesting, but no! I can't remember any of it now! Oh, yeah, I passed, top of the class, not deserved for history, but definitely deserved for the maths!
On the minus side, it did put me on the road to be a good deceiver and planner when hiding booze. Oh, that's what i do now, service planner,/administrator.Oh, how I wish I had never tasted alcohol. Anyways, that's behind me.
Apologies for the rambling, it's my age, mwwaaaah, I can blame that for everything!
Gotta Go and wash this stuff off my hair. I've got a colour stripper to take all the false colour build up out of my hair, so may get a shock if I'm all grey!
See ya later.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Mags, that is fascinating how you put together the number table for the kings and queens! Well done!
I have a very difficult time memorizing centuries. Historical figures all blend into one another unless I can connect them with a juicy tidbit from their lives.
It's a shame: I have learned so much and then forgotten it! I used to be enthralled with ancient Rome, but there are only a couple things I can recall now.
I learned a lot of it in my World Cultures class in 10th grade. We had a great teacher: very interesting and jovial, and he definitely knew how to pique our interest with juicy tidbits!
Every year when it was time to take pictures of the faculty for the school yearbook, he would tell a student to stand up: then he walked over, put on a face of rage, and grabbed the student's hair, pretending to drag him! Everybody laughed, including the "victim."
As soon as the picture was snapped, he gave us a few minutes to settle down, then resumed teaching as if nothing had happened.
I have a very difficult time memorizing centuries. Historical figures all blend into one another unless I can connect them with a juicy tidbit from their lives.
It's a shame: I have learned so much and then forgotten it! I used to be enthralled with ancient Rome, but there are only a couple things I can recall now.
I learned a lot of it in my World Cultures class in 10th grade. We had a great teacher: very interesting and jovial, and he definitely knew how to pique our interest with juicy tidbits!
Every year when it was time to take pictures of the faculty for the school yearbook, he would tell a student to stand up: then he walked over, put on a face of rage, and grabbed the student's hair, pretending to drag him! Everybody laughed, including the "victim."
As soon as the picture was snapped, he gave us a few minutes to settle down, then resumed teaching as if nothing had happened.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,163
Haha bet he couldn't do that now Gilmer!
LSC good to see you and hear how you are getting on
I get you all on relationships, the clarity of sobriety makes something's so much more important and others so much less. I'm fortunate that Mr T is a normie in that on the odd occasion he gets drunk in front of me it doesn't bother me, but it also means he doesn't understand addiction and will leave open bottles around, testing my willpower. Perhaps not such a bad thing.
Itchy I hope the rain has stopped
Wolfie is it any less humid today? It's fresher here.
Off to see MIL later, she is improved on each visit.
LSC good to see you and hear how you are getting on
I get you all on relationships, the clarity of sobriety makes something's so much more important and others so much less. I'm fortunate that Mr T is a normie in that on the odd occasion he gets drunk in front of me it doesn't bother me, but it also means he doesn't understand addiction and will leave open bottles around, testing my willpower. Perhaps not such a bad thing.
Itchy I hope the rain has stopped
Wolfie is it any less humid today? It's fresher here.
Off to see MIL later, she is improved on each visit.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Toots we had a bit of rain this morning but its still 75% humidity but its only 18° i dismantled the fans yesterday & gave them all a nice clean for when they are next used
Mrs sw woke me up this morning as we have 3 birdfeeders in the tree in our garden and today there was Blutits a Robbin & Wood pigeons all in the garden at once it was a awesome sight to wake up to
Hope your Tomatoes blossom Mags and i bet your hair looks lovely
Congrats on your upcoming 3 years Lsc hope your run goes well, enjoy the american choclate and i hope everything else goes well
Slowly but surely Itchy (Rabbit & the Turtle)
I like bits of roman history Gilmer but im rubbish at remembering dates plus the names get confusing lol
Have a nice afternoon guys & gals
Mrs sw woke me up this morning as we have 3 birdfeeders in the tree in our garden and today there was Blutits a Robbin & Wood pigeons all in the garden at once it was a awesome sight to wake up to
Hope your Tomatoes blossom Mags and i bet your hair looks lovely
Congrats on your upcoming 3 years Lsc hope your run goes well, enjoy the american choclate and i hope everything else goes well
Slowly but surely Itchy (Rabbit & the Turtle)
I like bits of roman history Gilmer but im rubbish at remembering dates plus the names get confusing lol
Have a nice afternoon guys & gals
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,632
You're on your way to a bird table, wolfie. You can get hanging bird tables also. Lovely, the birds visiting you, we are blessed. Robins are so cheeky, if you run out of feed, they come to the window once they get to know you. At first I wondered what he was looking at, yes they know we're here, then realised what he was asking. Wolfie, thanks but my hair doesn't look any different, except very clean with 15 minutes rinsing it! Lol.
Gilmer, it was a means to an end, my way, lol, but your teacher sounded brilliant and akin to the students. Ours used threatening words to rule us.
Toots, you've got an iron will,, girl!
Got tea with the mayor later after the winterton show. Busy, busy, busy. Hehe.
Gilmer, it was a means to an end, my way, lol, but your teacher sounded brilliant and akin to the students. Ours used threatening words to rule us.
Toots, you've got an iron will,, girl!
Got tea with the mayor later after the winterton show. Busy, busy, busy. Hehe.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Checking-in a little later than usual this morning. I didn't get to bed until after 11PM as the neighbors were shooting off all kinds of fireworks. I watched the movie Selma last night. I'm a big history buff, especially that era of American history. I knew the whole story, but it was interesting to see it dramatized with some great actors. Speaking of history, I took so many courses in college that it ended up being my minor to go along with the mass communications major. Of course, I can also recall just about any TV show ever made, for what little that's worth
It's a bit more humid here today, so I guess I'd better get my Sunday morning 2+ mile nature walk in before it gets too uncomfortable.
Have a great Sunday, overs!
It's a bit more humid here today, so I guess I'd better get my Sunday morning 2+ mile nature walk in before it gets too uncomfortable.
Have a great Sunday, overs!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Hey Itchy I just saw your pictures of your yard and I remember when you posted those first ones--the trees grew! Oh how time is passing.....sorry your yard appears to be a lake--is it dried up yet?
This weather is crazy, everywhere. Climate change, people! Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket? Haha.
We are having record heat in Southern B.C., and up here north we're experiencing the good side of it with an unusually mild winter (I just caught the tail end of it). I guess it only hit -40 a couple times.
Mags-mindful is good. I too am trying to remember how the present moment is so important and all we have really.
I overdid running and gave myself a bit of tendonitis in my heel. I'm taking a break from it (about five days or a week) and am finally getting around to practising the road bike which has been sitting there lonely for a couple months.
The roads around here are perfect for cycling.
It's so beautiful here, just like being in a painting, rolling green hills, pastures, rows of hay etc.
Oh and the canola fields are blooming, bright yellow, it's so striking.
Anyhoosies overs, enjoy your Sunday.
Oh LSC happy belated birthday!
This weather is crazy, everywhere. Climate change, people! Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket? Haha.
We are having record heat in Southern B.C., and up here north we're experiencing the good side of it with an unusually mild winter (I just caught the tail end of it). I guess it only hit -40 a couple times.
Mags-mindful is good. I too am trying to remember how the present moment is so important and all we have really.
I overdid running and gave myself a bit of tendonitis in my heel. I'm taking a break from it (about five days or a week) and am finally getting around to practising the road bike which has been sitting there lonely for a couple months.
The roads around here are perfect for cycling.
It's so beautiful here, just like being in a painting, rolling green hills, pastures, rows of hay etc.
Oh and the canola fields are blooming, bright yellow, it's so striking.
Anyhoosies overs, enjoy your Sunday.
Oh LSC happy belated birthday!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Just got back from my walk a little while ago. I saw a big turtle sitting at the bottom of a waterfall, with the water rushing all around him, yet he kept still, then finally decided to go for a ride with the current. I also saw a bunch of baby geese, that aren't so tiny anymore, yet they still are brown all over. Sorry, turned into Marlin Perkins there for a bit...carry on
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I have trouble remembering last week Itch 
I'm glad Least's idea had legs tho
D
I'm glad Least's idea had legs tho
D
I have trouble remembering the posts I just read and have taken to having two open just to make sure I don't miss anything again. Fageddabout remembering yesterday! I like the narrative you've developed over the years bud. I hope we both have many years of acquaintanceship to remember that we forgot. Then I forget the one I am on is the one with the post and hit the back for the previous page and poof! Sometimes it is still there.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Hi Overs,
Gorgeous day here today. Got some stuff to do around the yard to enjoy being outdoors more. I
have a normie SO. Only thing that bothers me is having to wait while he goes into the liquor store for a few weekend beers. I usually come on here.
We harvested our first green beans yesterday about 10 for each of us. The past few years gardening has been disastrous for us so I was very pleased! Our squash or cucumber (can't remember which was which) is flowering. Tomato plants are growing but no flowers yet! Carrots are growing above ground. Don't know what's going on below, haha.
We watched Gone Girl last night. I knew one of the plot twists but not the actual ending. It was interesting to say the least.
Dee, its not that I forget you're one of us. It's that since coming here on my day 1, you've been leaps ahead of me so I never consider myself one of "you." You are so good about posting support for others but I hope you know I appreciate anything you post about yourself too.
Gorgeous day here today. Got some stuff to do around the yard to enjoy being outdoors more. I
have a normie SO. Only thing that bothers me is having to wait while he goes into the liquor store for a few weekend beers. I usually come on here.
We harvested our first green beans yesterday about 10 for each of us. The past few years gardening has been disastrous for us so I was very pleased! Our squash or cucumber (can't remember which was which) is flowering. Tomato plants are growing but no flowers yet! Carrots are growing above ground. Don't know what's going on below, haha.
We watched Gone Girl last night. I knew one of the plot twists but not the actual ending. It was interesting to say the least.
Dee, its not that I forget you're one of us. It's that since coming here on my day 1, you've been leaps ahead of me so I never consider myself one of "you." You are so good about posting support for others but I hope you know I appreciate anything you post about yourself too.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Mags,
I am a noob compared to some of the others here, and certainly Anna and the rest out there. One of the hard parts is watching folks blow themselves up over nothing, then leaving and rarely return. I am trying to re-learn the lessons from long ago when I was counseling at the local university. That folks have to work to find their own solutions. I was always aware of my acceptable boundaries and tolerance for any failure, zero. I excelled in school, even got sent to boarding schools, but I wanted to be normal. Not the "egghead." And to counter that I was the target of much admiration from the girls from Junior high on. (Too bad they never let me know, the unattainable girl of my dreams later in life told me she felt the same about me in 8th grade. I thought when they were standing around giggling and looking at me they were making fun. I only went back to school at 30 and by the time I got my first of several BS' I had 235 semester hours with a 3.5 GPA. In hard sciences and lab work! Was I brill? NO! I was like a kid in a candy shop and could not figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Pre-Med to Anthropology to Philosophy to Sociology to Psychology, to Industrial Engineering and then 3/4ths of a Grad degree in International relations, which I also happen to have biologically. I organized private three person, four at most study groups where we played "Stump the Chump" circulating another's textbook to ask questions from highlighted passages and notes to find out what we didn't know. In one class group we did the entire tree of life that took up an entire two car garage's three walls to write out. Much like your coding but instead we just kept repeating over and over as fast as we could until we had the entire main family trees down pat. Today I can remember only Sipuncula, spoon worms, and Cnidaria stinging mechanisms. The things I actually used more so. My Rational Emotive Therapy and reality therapy learned from counseling and staffing to our doctoral (Psychologist) have proven very helpful in my own life and in my getting a detox head start to get off it for good. I only have one life. Therefore no time for two detox episodes or sidetracks.
I hope your 'Maters blooms stick!
I agree on the not enjoying the company of any drunk. If well behaved and happy I can be in the same room and bounce back remarks in a fun way. But trying to interact with one who cannot focus or listen and is over the top, even in a nice way is boring. The ones who act badly I cannot abide at all. we don't make a scene, we just make our excuses and leave by Stupid hour, 8 pm, just as the party is "starting." (read the drinkers are loose)
My AW isn't a fall down sloppy blackout drinker. But she has a mean streak that comes out and tries to play passive aggressive games only occasionally now as we have boundaries that I will not live with being crossed again. The hardest thing for any of us is to realize that we do not deserve bad treatment and we are worthy. Of what? Whatever as worthy does not come with limits.
Mindful, now that is funny to me that it is a buzz word, because it is a tenant of Buddhism, which I am not, but have studied/learned as part of my life of taking what I need and leaving the rest. That is one of the tenets of my life. When I find an exquisite view or experience, I promise to never take it for granted. The view of the front range of the Rocky mountains was one that when I saw I promised that despite living there for several years teaching, I would pinch myself and see it through my "new" eyes again.
We cannot be mindful of all stimulus in a day. We have to pick what we focus on. And again, it is all about making good choices. We each have these in our heads:
Is the one with a club in my head hitting me for thinking only about bad things and missing the now? Or for thinking about good things and losing my victimhood and enjoying the moment. Everyone's birds and flowers, fruits and vegetables, nesting and rehabilitating things are our choices coming out again to see if all is clear. And surprisingly enough, we find clarity only when we focus beyond it.
I find it very intuitive for you to go from learning the art of deception to removing your deceptive coloration. " Oh what tangled hairs we weave, when first we practice . . .
Thus saith the Itch, scribe to the "too long post" gods and goddesses
I am a noob compared to some of the others here, and certainly Anna and the rest out there. One of the hard parts is watching folks blow themselves up over nothing, then leaving and rarely return. I am trying to re-learn the lessons from long ago when I was counseling at the local university. That folks have to work to find their own solutions. I was always aware of my acceptable boundaries and tolerance for any failure, zero. I excelled in school, even got sent to boarding schools, but I wanted to be normal. Not the "egghead." And to counter that I was the target of much admiration from the girls from Junior high on. (Too bad they never let me know, the unattainable girl of my dreams later in life told me she felt the same about me in 8th grade. I thought when they were standing around giggling and looking at me they were making fun. I only went back to school at 30 and by the time I got my first of several BS' I had 235 semester hours with a 3.5 GPA. In hard sciences and lab work! Was I brill? NO! I was like a kid in a candy shop and could not figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Pre-Med to Anthropology to Philosophy to Sociology to Psychology, to Industrial Engineering and then 3/4ths of a Grad degree in International relations, which I also happen to have biologically. I organized private three person, four at most study groups where we played "Stump the Chump" circulating another's textbook to ask questions from highlighted passages and notes to find out what we didn't know. In one class group we did the entire tree of life that took up an entire two car garage's three walls to write out. Much like your coding but instead we just kept repeating over and over as fast as we could until we had the entire main family trees down pat. Today I can remember only Sipuncula, spoon worms, and Cnidaria stinging mechanisms. The things I actually used more so. My Rational Emotive Therapy and reality therapy learned from counseling and staffing to our doctoral (Psychologist) have proven very helpful in my own life and in my getting a detox head start to get off it for good. I only have one life. Therefore no time for two detox episodes or sidetracks.
I hope your 'Maters blooms stick!
I agree on the not enjoying the company of any drunk. If well behaved and happy I can be in the same room and bounce back remarks in a fun way. But trying to interact with one who cannot focus or listen and is over the top, even in a nice way is boring. The ones who act badly I cannot abide at all. we don't make a scene, we just make our excuses and leave by Stupid hour, 8 pm, just as the party is "starting." (read the drinkers are loose)
My AW isn't a fall down sloppy blackout drinker. But she has a mean streak that comes out and tries to play passive aggressive games only occasionally now as we have boundaries that I will not live with being crossed again. The hardest thing for any of us is to realize that we do not deserve bad treatment and we are worthy. Of what? Whatever as worthy does not come with limits.
Mindful, now that is funny to me that it is a buzz word, because it is a tenant of Buddhism, which I am not, but have studied/learned as part of my life of taking what I need and leaving the rest. That is one of the tenets of my life. When I find an exquisite view or experience, I promise to never take it for granted. The view of the front range of the Rocky mountains was one that when I saw I promised that despite living there for several years teaching, I would pinch myself and see it through my "new" eyes again.
We cannot be mindful of all stimulus in a day. We have to pick what we focus on. And again, it is all about making good choices. We each have these in our heads:
Is the one with a club in my head hitting me for thinking only about bad things and missing the now? Or for thinking about good things and losing my victimhood and enjoying the moment. Everyone's birds and flowers, fruits and vegetables, nesting and rehabilitating things are our choices coming out again to see if all is clear. And surprisingly enough, we find clarity only when we focus beyond it.
I find it very intuitive for you to go from learning the art of deception to removing your deceptive coloration. " Oh what tangled hairs we weave, when first we practice . . .
Thus saith the Itch, scribe to the "too long post" gods and goddesses
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