Class of May 2015 (Part 5)
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Administrator
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
It's important to remember that all of us will experience cravings for a while.
I really believe there's nothing inherently wrong with that - our minds and bodies acted that way for a long time - years or decades for some of us.
It's our response that counts. Whether you're playing the tape though or HALTing or Urge surfing or calling in reinforcements - thats the measure of our recovery
For those who haven't seen it, all the things I mentioned can be found and explained here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
It won't be like this forever
I haven't experienced cravings in a long time.
In times of great stress I might have a fleeting thought but I shut those down pretty good
D
I really believe there's nothing inherently wrong with that - our minds and bodies acted that way for a long time - years or decades for some of us.
It's our response that counts. Whether you're playing the tape though or HALTing or Urge surfing or calling in reinforcements - thats the measure of our recovery
For those who haven't seen it, all the things I mentioned can be found and explained here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
It won't be like this forever
I haven't experienced cravings in a long time.
In times of great stress I might have a fleeting thought but I shut those down pretty good
D
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
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Thanks Dee. Wise words as usual.
I'm doing OK now. Playing the tape thru and coming on here and admitting what was going on helped. Especially the latter. I wasn't going to take that drink no matter what but it just kinda scared me as these were definitely the strongest cravings I've had since week one and they came out of nowhere as far as I can tell. Didn't have anything stressful going on. I was just sitting at home reading a book.
I'm doing OK now. Playing the tape thru and coming on here and admitting what was going on helped. Especially the latter. I wasn't going to take that drink no matter what but it just kinda scared me as these were definitely the strongest cravings I've had since week one and they came out of nowhere as far as I can tell. Didn't have anything stressful going on. I was just sitting at home reading a book.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Casey I'm in the same boat as you with the car thing. I'm car-less because of car accident but can't afford to get a new one until I get some sort of insurance settlement and my credit sucks as well.
Do you have Uber where you live? It's a little less than half the price of a cab. They also have a program where you can get a car through them if you drive for them (so there's that), but I've heard both good and bad things about it.
I take the subway when I can but it doesn't go everywhere. Being without a car is a challenge. For me it's been since February. But then I see so many people really struggling and homeless and remind myself to suck it up. Still, though, I have had to turn down work if it's too far, so I may have to go to one of those used car loan sharks....
Hope you feel better! I'm going to look for something silly to watch.
Do you have Uber where you live? It's a little less than half the price of a cab. They also have a program where you can get a car through them if you drive for them (so there's that), but I've heard both good and bad things about it.
I take the subway when I can but it doesn't go everywhere. Being without a car is a challenge. For me it's been since February. But then I see so many people really struggling and homeless and remind myself to suck it up. Still, though, I have had to turn down work if it's too far, so I may have to go to one of those used car loan sharks....
Hope you feel better! I'm going to look for something silly to watch.
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No Uber. No reliable public transportation available. The city I live in has a population of around 130,000, so it's not tiny but doesn't have a lot of perks either.
The biggest grocery store in town is less than two blocks away. My folks are three blocks away. Work is only a fifteen minute walk so I'm OK most of the time, but a meeting tonight would have been nice. I guess I could have called a cab. Didn't think of that.
The biggest grocery store in town is less than two blocks away. My folks are three blocks away. Work is only a fifteen minute walk so I'm OK most of the time, but a meeting tonight would have been nice. I guess I could have called a cab. Didn't think of that.
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And now I can't get the stupid *insert your personal favorite curse word here* chat room here to open up. It's worked for me before but I get nothing but a blank screen every which way I try this time. I'm pretty literate re: computers but I give up. It wasn't meant to be. Also going to find some mindless television. I'm already feeling sleepy as well so guess I'll get my pajamas on. Have to be at work way early again tomorrow.
Thanks for the encouragement and conversation, Ginamarie and Dee and AllieK. Hope everyone has a safe and sober night. Thanks for helping to keep me sober today.
Thanks for the encouragement and conversation, Ginamarie and Dee and AllieK. Hope everyone has a safe and sober night. Thanks for helping to keep me sober today.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Damn, Casey. That was a tough day and you managed to get through it. I'm impressed that you set out in that heat to walk to the meeting and then decided it was too far and too hot. You know what you should do? Follow Freedom's lead and buy a bicycle for the longer treks. It's amazing how fast you can get somewhere on a bike! Very cool that you are so close to your work. But if you have a bike for the longer hauls, you'll be good to go.
Sorry for you folks without cars. I haven't got a whole lot of things but I'm thankful for my car. She's been in my possession for 15 years (next month, actually) and she was 2 when I bought her. She gets me where I need to go and she's paid off. She and I both have a lot more mileage left on us.
God bless each of you tonight. Casey, that sucks you couldn't even get into the chat room after all that temptation! Seems something was conspiring against you today. I'd love to know what it was that set you off. Maybe something in the book you were reading? You said it happened during the read. Look back on what you read and see if the trigger was in there. I'm curious and I know you are too.
You say that "think the drinks through" a lot but it never worked for me when I was really in a moment of temptation. By "moment" I mean a very long one, meaning a day or two or more.
Sorry for you folks without cars. I haven't got a whole lot of things but I'm thankful for my car. She's been in my possession for 15 years (next month, actually) and she was 2 when I bought her. She gets me where I need to go and she's paid off. She and I both have a lot more mileage left on us.
God bless each of you tonight. Casey, that sucks you couldn't even get into the chat room after all that temptation! Seems something was conspiring against you today. I'd love to know what it was that set you off. Maybe something in the book you were reading? You said it happened during the read. Look back on what you read and see if the trigger was in there. I'm curious and I know you are too.
You say that "think the drinks through" a lot but it never worked for me when I was really in a moment of temptation. By "moment" I mean a very long one, meaning a day or two or more.
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Thanks Cissy.
I had a bike. A good bicycle. It was stolen a few weeks ago. I guess I'll buy another one until I can afford a car but I just hate spending any money right now until my income gets back to normal after the job change and vacation. I make good money (though I've had basically no new income for three weeks now) and there's no reason I can't afford a car on my income. Though like I said, there's the whole bad credit issue. I just need to practice better fiscal responsibility and get a decent amount of money saved to put toward a vehicle. I've spent a lot of money on useless junk over the last six months or so.
Actually the whole money issue may have played a part in the cravings. I forgot when I first posted tonight that right before I started reading, I'd just paid a bunch of bills for the upcoming month. My bank account is depressingly low right now and it's definitely been on my mind a lot lately.
Honestly, thinking the drink through didn't do near as much for me tonight as just relying on the accountability I've built up on here. I like what I've got going here and don't want to ruin it. Also I've repeated some of those sayings like "don't take that first drink no matter what" so often that I think my poor mind is starting to really believe in the basic truth of them. I mean, I've always known that they're true on one level, but now they're starting to be my reality at a very basic level.
Drinking as a viable option is just not on the table for me anymore. Even while those cravings were going on fairly strong, there was an equally strong thought of "Doesn't matter. You are not going to drink. Period." and meaning and believing exactly that. And then I made myself come post on here because that's what I've told others to do and it's good for my accountability to myself and to all of you.
But "playing the tape" has definitely worked for me in the past. Remembering all the bad consequences drinking has had for me is a tool that is worth trying, at least for me. That's why I recommend it to others. It just wasn't my best defense tonight.
Really headed to bed now. Sweet dreams all!
I had a bike. A good bicycle. It was stolen a few weeks ago. I guess I'll buy another one until I can afford a car but I just hate spending any money right now until my income gets back to normal after the job change and vacation. I make good money (though I've had basically no new income for three weeks now) and there's no reason I can't afford a car on my income. Though like I said, there's the whole bad credit issue. I just need to practice better fiscal responsibility and get a decent amount of money saved to put toward a vehicle. I've spent a lot of money on useless junk over the last six months or so.
Actually the whole money issue may have played a part in the cravings. I forgot when I first posted tonight that right before I started reading, I'd just paid a bunch of bills for the upcoming month. My bank account is depressingly low right now and it's definitely been on my mind a lot lately.
Honestly, thinking the drink through didn't do near as much for me tonight as just relying on the accountability I've built up on here. I like what I've got going here and don't want to ruin it. Also I've repeated some of those sayings like "don't take that first drink no matter what" so often that I think my poor mind is starting to really believe in the basic truth of them. I mean, I've always known that they're true on one level, but now they're starting to be my reality at a very basic level.
Drinking as a viable option is just not on the table for me anymore. Even while those cravings were going on fairly strong, there was an equally strong thought of "Doesn't matter. You are not going to drink. Period." and meaning and believing exactly that. And then I made myself come post on here because that's what I've told others to do and it's good for my accountability to myself and to all of you.
But "playing the tape" has definitely worked for me in the past. Remembering all the bad consequences drinking has had for me is a tool that is worth trying, at least for me. That's why I recommend it to others. It just wasn't my best defense tonight.
Really headed to bed now. Sweet dreams all!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Good on you Casey, you made it through. I must admit thoughts are popping into my head again and it its only midday! I will just keep telling them where to go, hopefully they will get the hint by 5ish when they really get strong and I usually take the first drink. I too will read those tips again. Thanks Dee.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Struggling with the av tonight. It's now 6 oclock, usually start at 5, so an hour into this battle. I just ate a huge dinner, once that goes down hopefully the urge will go away. I played the scene in my head, like Dee suggested, really has helped so far.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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6 hours away from 6 week mark. Apparently 6 weeks of abstinence is the time it takes for a fatty liver to clear itself of fat. Way I'm feeling now, gradually day by day, it's showing.
Taught a few ace classes today, including one about Buddhism!
I went over to the Buddhist chapel at school to help the Social Studies teacher with a lesson - ended up giving my first Dhamma-talk, about the principles and techniques of Samadha and Vipassana meditation, and the differences between the two (how much the M3 (Year 9 in UK school years) kids understood is a different question), before presiding over a meditation class!
Feeling a few cravings now, even after 6 weeks - but nowt I can't handle - just going to crack open a bottle of iced water.
And then, in less than 72 hours, it's pay day! Boo Yeah.
Going to take it easy tonight, I think - just a slow-paced 5km walk and then an early night and long sleep.
Taught a few ace classes today, including one about Buddhism!
I went over to the Buddhist chapel at school to help the Social Studies teacher with a lesson - ended up giving my first Dhamma-talk, about the principles and techniques of Samadha and Vipassana meditation, and the differences between the two (how much the M3 (Year 9 in UK school years) kids understood is a different question), before presiding over a meditation class!
Feeling a few cravings now, even after 6 weeks - but nowt I can't handle - just going to crack open a bottle of iced water.
And then, in less than 72 hours, it's pay day! Boo Yeah.
Going to take it easy tonight, I think - just a slow-paced 5km walk and then an early night and long sleep.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
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Thanks for the new thread Dee!
Casey, glad you came on here and posted. Admitting cravings seems to take away a lot of their power for me.
AK, let us know how the therapist goes! I hope getting that first appointment over with and getting some things off your chest helps your anxiety some.
Johnno- congrats on 6 weeks! That is awesome. I bet your liver is thrilled!
I had a drinking dream last night. In the dream I thought I was having a drinking dream, but I woke up and it had been real and I felt absolutely terrible about it and was so disappointed with myself. Then I woke up for real. Thank god! That one was scary.
Hope everyone has a lovely Wednesday! I'm going for some beach time this morning. Might even get myself a new bikini.
Casey, glad you came on here and posted. Admitting cravings seems to take away a lot of their power for me.
AK, let us know how the therapist goes! I hope getting that first appointment over with and getting some things off your chest helps your anxiety some.
Johnno- congrats on 6 weeks! That is awesome. I bet your liver is thrilled!
I had a drinking dream last night. In the dream I thought I was having a drinking dream, but I woke up and it had been real and I felt absolutely terrible about it and was so disappointed with myself. Then I woke up for real. Thank god! That one was scary.
Hope everyone has a lovely Wednesday! I'm going for some beach time this morning. Might even get myself a new bikini.
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Starting day 34. Up way too early again because of work. I did not sleep good at all last night. Got about five hours sleep and then have spent the last three hours or so basically lying in bed with my eyes open with intermittent periods of sleep for 10-15 minutes before I was awake again. Not sure what's going on there.
AllieK -- good luck at your therapist today. Let us know how it goes!
chanty -- good job on making it through your cravings. Sorry no one was awake in this group to root you on while they were happening but sounds like you were able to still use SR to help you.
AGAG -- congrats on 6 weeks! I hadn't really noticed before this morning when I was getting ready to shower, but I've also definitely lost quite a bit of weight over the last month. While it's not super toned by any stretch of the imagination, my stomach is now basically flat for the first time in a long time. A nice side effect of not drinking.
site -- sounds like an "Inception" level of dreams within a dream going on there! And until your comment about a new bikini, I had for some reason assumed you were a guy. Not sure why.
Hope everyone has a safe and sober Wednesday. I'll talk to you later!
AllieK -- good luck at your therapist today. Let us know how it goes!
chanty -- good job on making it through your cravings. Sorry no one was awake in this group to root you on while they were happening but sounds like you were able to still use SR to help you.
AGAG -- congrats on 6 weeks! I hadn't really noticed before this morning when I was getting ready to shower, but I've also definitely lost quite a bit of weight over the last month. While it's not super toned by any stretch of the imagination, my stomach is now basically flat for the first time in a long time. A nice side effect of not drinking.
site -- sounds like an "Inception" level of dreams within a dream going on there! And until your comment about a new bikini, I had for some reason assumed you were a guy. Not sure why.
Hope everyone has a safe and sober Wednesday. I'll talk to you later!
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