One Year and Under Club Part 46
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
One Year and Under Club Part 46
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Hang in there petals! The important thing is that you were sober.
I am still doing well with my recovery. I'm still having cravings- one really bad a couple of days ago where I almost caved in and bought a bottle of wine. I made it through and didn't get it and stayed sober. I am so glad now and feel good this morning.
Have a good day everyone!
I am still doing well with my recovery. I'm still having cravings- one really bad a couple of days ago where I almost caved in and bought a bottle of wine. I made it through and didn't get it and stayed sober. I am so glad now and feel good this morning.
Have a good day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
90 DAYS!!! I made it. I confess I'm posting that I made it to 90 so someone will tell me good job because I'm really not feeling proud of myself or like I did something good. I posted already in my month graduation group saying that I barely slid into 90 days sober because I was *this* close to drinking last night. It's pretty scary to me how I told myself okay it's fine to drink. I bargained and told myself if I was asked one more time if I wanted a drink I would accept it. It's pure luck that I wasn't asked. Not feeling so proud of myself for that ... regardless of how I got here I did manage to make it to 90 days even if I feel like I mentally gave up yesterday yet still lucked out and didn't drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
90 days is great.
I've been beating myself up over near misses as well. Not sure it's very productive. Just be happy you stayed sober and do what you can to learn from what triggered the craving.
Keep it up!
I've been beating myself up over near misses as well. Not sure it's very productive. Just be happy you stayed sober and do what you can to learn from what triggered the craving.
Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
60 congrats on the 90 days! That's great!!
Womp kicked my butt. We've been down one other main person for weeks now due to some personal issues so I'm having to work twice as hard. Feeling both mentally and psychically exhausted. Tomorrow already looks crazy busy so hoping I can keep up. Off to sleep
Womp kicked my butt. We've been down one other main person for weeks now due to some personal issues so I'm having to work twice as hard. Feeling both mentally and psychically exhausted. Tomorrow already looks crazy busy so hoping I can keep up. Off to sleep
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,163
BeFree, is it possible to get someone in even just to cover some admin or desk work to free up someone else to help you out? Look after yourself lass, remember HALT.
as for you 60AB CONGRATULATIONS ON HITTING 90!!! don't dis your achievement. Don't you realise that AV pick milestones as an opportunity to try to weaken you with what sound like sane arguments. Of course you will have felt temptation, it is what addiction is all about. But guess what YOU. DIDN'T. DRINK. In my book that is a victory, and one definitely worth celebrating and feeling proud about!!
Wolfie Tooting Popular Front! yay!
WWS great going on managing your cravings, make plans for the next time so you have the tools handy.
I sometimes have to remind folk that if stopping drinking was easy, if beating our addiction was a doddle, there would be no addiction. We addicts also seem to suffer from that rare combination of fragile ego and self loathing that appears to refuse to allow us to acknowledge victory and sometimes sees criticism in the most innocent of phrases. Combined this leads us to tend to isolate and try to fight alone.
What I am seeing here is a group of people walking the road together, daring to allow themselves to be vulnerable and trusting those around them to give support. And those around are supporting. Take it from one who knows, allowing people in, allowing honesty in, fills the gaps left by letting go alcohol. It is far more fulfilling and rewarding. So please let yourselves accept praise for a job well done. In the first year, going to bed sober is an achievement. Going to bed sober after a wrangle with AV is a a victory.
as for you 60AB CONGRATULATIONS ON HITTING 90!!! don't dis your achievement. Don't you realise that AV pick milestones as an opportunity to try to weaken you with what sound like sane arguments. Of course you will have felt temptation, it is what addiction is all about. But guess what YOU. DIDN'T. DRINK. In my book that is a victory, and one definitely worth celebrating and feeling proud about!!
Wolfie Tooting Popular Front! yay!
WWS great going on managing your cravings, make plans for the next time so you have the tools handy.
I sometimes have to remind folk that if stopping drinking was easy, if beating our addiction was a doddle, there would be no addiction. We addicts also seem to suffer from that rare combination of fragile ego and self loathing that appears to refuse to allow us to acknowledge victory and sometimes sees criticism in the most innocent of phrases. Combined this leads us to tend to isolate and try to fight alone.
What I am seeing here is a group of people walking the road together, daring to allow themselves to be vulnerable and trusting those around them to give support. And those around are supporting. Take it from one who knows, allowing people in, allowing honesty in, fills the gaps left by letting go alcohol. It is far more fulfilling and rewarding. So please let yourselves accept praise for a job well done. In the first year, going to bed sober is an achievement. Going to bed sober after a wrangle with AV is a a victory.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
That is so true, Toots.
60, your achievement is all the more commendable because it was so hard-fought. By hook or by crook, you won the day! You should be congratulated!
Each time you withstand serious tests, you become stronger and better equipped to withstand future tests. And the longer you go, the tests get fewer and less serious.
60, your achievement is all the more commendable because it was so hard-fought. By hook or by crook, you won the day! You should be congratulated!
Each time you withstand serious tests, you become stronger and better equipped to withstand future tests. And the longer you go, the tests get fewer and less serious.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Good job Sixty on 90 days! Like Saskia said almost drinking is not the same as drinking. I've had a few near misses myself and I feel better that I did not cave in and take that first drink. This is certainly not easy!
Great post toots! Thanks I needed that.
Great post toots! Thanks I needed that.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Hi Undies,
60AB, congrats on the milestone achievement. I think it is understandable that you were not feeling that good about the amazing job you are doing. If you are anything like me, alcoholism made it easy for me to beat myself up. In some ways I think I wanted the bad so that I could use some good old poor me, pour me another logic. For me, learning to like myself was hard work at the beginning. My friends in AA would say to keep coming back and that they would love me till I was ready to love myself. The folks right here were doing the same thing...showing me the love every day. In time I came to kinda like the guy in this sober skin.
I was full of ego and pride in the early days...but I had plenty of fear and resentment too. Working a recovery program has helped me to overcome much these past almost 2 years. However, from my vantage point, this journey is so infant.
I found a peace and joy in recovery that had eluded me all my life. I was texting with a recovery friend last night about this and I am sure I still don't know how to describe it.
Funny thing, I thought I was happy and living a good life. With only minor consequences I stopped drinking for nearly 12 years at 35 years old. My career took off, my ex and I were living the American dream; we were partners in every way. Material things came along for the ride. My two girls were dreams to raise. Yet, that whole time preceding that initial relapse I was never really happy in my heart. I was never satisfied with what was...always chasing what could be.
I know I am filled with passion and for some reason always have been, yet that passion was so misdirected. It was me, me, then me based. Following that initial relapse I spent a decade in a downward spiral. Achieving sober times in excess of a year a couple times...yet, alcohol had me in a cage, drinking or not. It owned me...my soul...my passion...my flight wings. Its progressive nature wanted me dead, or worse, living a life in misery.
Somehow on 6/3/2013 I began to realize there was a way out. I wanted a way out so badly but just had no idea what to do. For me now, that way out included daily AA meetings for all but 17 days in the first 10 months, a daily dose of SR, individual therapy, meditation, a seeking of the finer things to offer my heart and soul. It would have continued with mtgs at a similar pace but I lost my driving privileges for 6 months. Haha, my best teacher...assmosis, by far.
I know so little about total recovery from the deadly disease. Last night I was at a mtg talking about life on life's terms. Powerful, sad, happy, raw, rife with pure emotion. Like minded's seeking a path to peace and serenity/joyous, happy and free leaning hard on each other. I was overcome with gratitude for this new life that I am carving out while driving home.
Lots of newer faces, so please let me reiterate...I am by no stretch an AA zealot, Big Book thumper. I believe there are many paths to freedom from this living nightmare of alcoholism. However, again, for me, I do believe that recovery, not sobriety, requires a three pronged approach. Physically not drinking, emotional growth and a spiritual guide. My spiritual guide is a higher power that kinda sorta looks like a Buddha - I think?? But "it" turned "I" into a "we" even when I am alone with my thoughts...and as a we, beating this monster got a little bit easier.
Let's enjoy this gift of sobriety we have offered ourselves today, deal?
Carlos
I'm by no means cured
60AB, congrats on the milestone achievement. I think it is understandable that you were not feeling that good about the amazing job you are doing. If you are anything like me, alcoholism made it easy for me to beat myself up. In some ways I think I wanted the bad so that I could use some good old poor me, pour me another logic. For me, learning to like myself was hard work at the beginning. My friends in AA would say to keep coming back and that they would love me till I was ready to love myself. The folks right here were doing the same thing...showing me the love every day. In time I came to kinda like the guy in this sober skin.
I was full of ego and pride in the early days...but I had plenty of fear and resentment too. Working a recovery program has helped me to overcome much these past almost 2 years. However, from my vantage point, this journey is so infant.
I found a peace and joy in recovery that had eluded me all my life. I was texting with a recovery friend last night about this and I am sure I still don't know how to describe it.
Funny thing, I thought I was happy and living a good life. With only minor consequences I stopped drinking for nearly 12 years at 35 years old. My career took off, my ex and I were living the American dream; we were partners in every way. Material things came along for the ride. My two girls were dreams to raise. Yet, that whole time preceding that initial relapse I was never really happy in my heart. I was never satisfied with what was...always chasing what could be.
I know I am filled with passion and for some reason always have been, yet that passion was so misdirected. It was me, me, then me based. Following that initial relapse I spent a decade in a downward spiral. Achieving sober times in excess of a year a couple times...yet, alcohol had me in a cage, drinking or not. It owned me...my soul...my passion...my flight wings. Its progressive nature wanted me dead, or worse, living a life in misery.
Somehow on 6/3/2013 I began to realize there was a way out. I wanted a way out so badly but just had no idea what to do. For me now, that way out included daily AA meetings for all but 17 days in the first 10 months, a daily dose of SR, individual therapy, meditation, a seeking of the finer things to offer my heart and soul. It would have continued with mtgs at a similar pace but I lost my driving privileges for 6 months. Haha, my best teacher...assmosis, by far.
I know so little about total recovery from the deadly disease. Last night I was at a mtg talking about life on life's terms. Powerful, sad, happy, raw, rife with pure emotion. Like minded's seeking a path to peace and serenity/joyous, happy and free leaning hard on each other. I was overcome with gratitude for this new life that I am carving out while driving home.
Lots of newer faces, so please let me reiterate...I am by no stretch an AA zealot, Big Book thumper. I believe there are many paths to freedom from this living nightmare of alcoholism. However, again, for me, I do believe that recovery, not sobriety, requires a three pronged approach. Physically not drinking, emotional growth and a spiritual guide. My spiritual guide is a higher power that kinda sorta looks like a Buddha - I think?? But "it" turned "I" into a "we" even when I am alone with my thoughts...and as a we, beating this monster got a little bit easier.
Let's enjoy this gift of sobriety we have offered ourselves today, deal?
Carlos
I'm by no means cured
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